TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Line"

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

I've got a touch of something (body aches and stomach flip-flops, but no explosive diarrhea), so lets get right to it before I spew tonight's Ruth's Chris meal all over the joint.

The best of the best this week, including a first time winner, a slew of Spock Awards (now with spiffy new medallion), and captain crow getting his FIFTH Spock Award in a row (!) are:

Seated woman: "... .... ...You want me to get up and serve something, right?"

*Men all nod*

Spock: "Are you as turned on as I am?"
Kirk: "More."
Spock: "Good... then this part won't be all that bad for you. (Sound of velcro coming undone.)
Kirk: "Oh dear god, no.... "

That's right, Mrs. Garret. Get strict.

Kirk, flying: "I'd rather be strangled than have my head rammed into this wall.... plus my ass looks HUGE!"

Terrell: "I didn't spend a year locked up with the other caption contest characters just to be served motherfucking food cubes when I got out!"

Kirk: DAMN BOURBON AND BEANS!!!!

It was at that very moment that Kirk realised that maybe Engineering wasn't the smartest place to set up the Slip 'n Slide.

After a tough duty shift on the Bridge Spock relaxes to his favorite log entries.

Spock prepares for another day working with humans.

Picard: "Gentlemen, please. When confronted with a dangerous situation, I just leave the bridge and have a staff meeting. Sometimes, there's bagels!"

Kirk: We prefer quay-sants
Picard beats them both to death.

Even wanting to barf, those all made me laugh. Nicely done.

This week's shots are:

And the odd-man-out is:

Should be fun.

Joe, should be better



TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138 (3x)
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik (2x)
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
captain crow (12x)

*** FIFTH SPOCK AWARD IN A ROW! HE CANNOT BE STOPPED OR REASONED WITH!***
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (23x)
Corallis
cultcross
Cuhl
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Deranged Nastat (2X) *** BIG WINNER! ***
Diesel Micky Dolenz (12x)
Dohlman
DrBob (14x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper (2X)
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gary7 (2x)
Gertch (28x)

*** SPOCK AWARD! DOUBLE BIG WINNER! ***
goldbug (3x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (3x)
highlander (12x)
Isis (2X)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
jep *** FIRST TIME BIG WINNER! ***
Jeri
Johnnyracefan (2x)
John_Picard (4x)
Jonas Grumby (4x)
jptrekker (4x)
Kahloke (4x)

*** SPOCK AWARD! DOUBLE BIG WINNER! SECOND WIN IN A ROW!***
Kegek (2x)
Kirby (2x)
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (10x)
Milo Bloom (2x)
Mistral (3x)
Mojochi
Mr. Adventure
Mysterion
M'Sharak (14x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (46x!)

*** SPOCK AWARD! BIG WINNER SECOND IN A ROW! ***
Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (48!x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
Redfern (2x)
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (28x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
Sector 7
seigezunt (5x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
Shatmandu (25x)
Shaw (4x)
shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Sovay
SRFX
ssosmcin
Super Grover
Tallis Rhul
Tan Ru (2x)
T'Bonz (8x)
T'Girl (2x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (4x)
TheGallifreyanSith
The Badger (4x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (22x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (12x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Tribble (9x)
Triskelion (32x) *** BIG WINNER! AND THIRD WIN IN THREE WEEKS! ***
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
UssGlenn (2x)
Volphone_the_Fox (2x)
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Yeoman Randi (2x)
Zachery Smith

 

[Shatmandu]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Kirk: "Could you do that eye-roll thing on Scotty? Sometimes, his attitude really chaps my ass."

Chekov: "I am vhearing my duty uniform. Vhy do you ask?"

Trekkie: "I refuse to buy these until they put his insignia in the canon-accepted location."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Kirk: "I'd like to believe you, Charlie, but the fact remains they went missing from Yeoman Rand's lingerie drawer and turned up under your mattress..."

Chekov: "You have reached the science station of Meester Spock. Meester Spock is not awailable right now, but if you vill give me your name and number, he vill get back to you."

 

[26138]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Kirk: Charlie, do you like movies about gladiators?

 

[Rat Boy]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Charlie: "But why do you have the books in backwards?"

Kirk: "All right, so I like the Twilight novels. Promise not to tell anyone?"

Chekov: "So Keptin, are you vith Team Edvard or Team Jacob?"

Kirk: "Fucking Charlie!"

 

[Valin]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Kirk: "Bones, I got the idea for this from the mirror universe. I call it a portable Tantulus Field. Watch what happens when I press this button."

 

[Gertch]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Thanks for the win!

 

[Mysterion]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Kirk: No, you won't go blind, but you should use some sort of lotion to avoid chaffing...

 

[Rat Boy]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Khan (off screen): "HIM! He's the one who upperdecked my toilet! I never forget a feces!"

 

[Triskelion]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Thanks for the win Shatmandu!

Charlie there comes a time in a young man's life, when his body starts going through -
Oh no. NO.
- and he starts to get these urges -
Really, you don't have to.
- to invest his soda-jerk income -
...huh?
- in a government bond or savings bank.
...dude wtf?
- but keep your filthy gobs outta my stack or I'll space you like that last manboy we had around here Chekov.

Chekov: Sir, a sotted Meester Scott spotted Spock in a wessel on a wector weering to Vulcan - ah dammit!
Kirk: This one's going on subspace Youtube.

 

[Rat Boy]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Charlie: "Don't you think that's a little...much?"

Kirk: "Sorry, can't hear you. Read the sign."

 

[Corallis]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Now with 50% less arsenic!

 

[Shatmandu]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Charlie: "Why don't you have your books on your bookcase spine-out?"

Kirk: "Did you really tell Khan you wanted to make tea with his underpants?"

And here's a blank.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Charlie: "Don't you think that's a little...much?"

Kirk: "Sorry, can't hear you. Read the sign."

Score!

Joe, hope you feel better soon!

 

[Mysterion]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

"Theeeeeey're Logical!"

 

[Mysterion]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Kirk (to self): First Katie Couric...now this. I really miss Walter Cronkite...

 

[Kahloke]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

In these, the final throes of my undergrad, the TOS caption contest has become my sole source of the shits and giggles.

Thanks for keeping me sane, guys. Thanks for the win Joe! May you be blessed with more giggles and fewer shits in the days to come.

[/QUOTE]

Trek BBS TOS Caption Contester: "I refuse to caption this until they put his afro in the canon-accepted location."

 

[Shatmandu]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Joe, hope you feel better soon!

I'm all good. Must have been a 24-hour thing. Thanks for the well-wishes!

Kirk: "As cool as me? That'd take a lot of eye-rolls, kid. Start small, grow a pair, and make yourself less pathetic."

 

[Shatmandu]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Kirk: "When your shift's over, would you like to come over and see what color my nacelle cap is?"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #154: "I Think The Captain Should Have That Li

Kirk: "Ok, you want me to call the bridge and start talking about nuclear vessels"