TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneliness

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

The kids are taking a nap before we head over to the in-laws for that bag-of-cats-tied-over-your-head gathering some call Thanksgiving dinner. Perfect time for a quick changeover.

Lots of fun again this week, as usual. The ones who get to carve the turkey, including a first time winner, a couple of second wins in a row, and captain crow getting his FOURTH Spock Award for a Double-Win are:

Kirk: "Spock Season!"
Spock: "Kirk Season!"
Kirk: "Spock Season!"
Spock: "Kirk Season!"
Kirk: "Spock Season!"
Spock: "Kirk Season!"
Kirk: "Spock Season!"
Spock: "Kirk Season!"
Kirk: "Spock Season!"
Spock: "Kirk Season!"
Kirk: "Spock Season!"
Spock: "Kirk Season!"
Gus shoots them both...

Gary: "Who wants hot chocolate?"

Airhead Fan: "Mr. Nimoy, could I ask you a question about this album?"
Nimoy: "Of course! I'm always happy to discuss my music!"
AF: "Um, okay...so...are you a giant here? Or did the Enterprise get shrunk?"

On Vulcans, they're alive, with six inch fangs...

Gary 7: Not now, Madeline.

Spock: 'I told you converting the footage from that antique VHS onto a computer tape was not logical!'

Kirk: Remember Gary, I want light starch.

Spock; "Captain, I believe your controller has been unplugged"
Kirk; "SEVEN!"

SPOCK: And you are sure this is the only child you fathered the last time we visited this era?
KIRK: uh, probably.

Scotty: Ach, you've burned out the transtator assembly. I'll have to order parts.

Guard: "Hat club my @ss, get out!"

Nicely done, all! And thanks to everyone who chimed in.

This week's bits exemplify the holiday:

Have at it.

Joe, who is about to eat like an ugly girl home on prom night


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138 (3x)
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik (2x)
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
Cakes488
CaptainJon
captain crow (10x) *** FOURTH SPOCK AWARD DOUBLE-WIN IN A ROW! HOLY SHIT!***
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (23x)
Corallis *** FIRST TIME BIG WINNER! ***
cultcross
Cuhl
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Deranged Nastat
Diesel Micky Dolenz (12x)
Dohlman
DrBob (14x)
DS9Sega (7x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper (2X)
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gary7 (2x)
Gertch (26x)
goldbug (3x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (3x)
highlander (12x)
Isis (2X)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Jeri
Johnnyracefan (2x)
John_Picard (4x)
Jonas Grumby (4x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
jptrekker (4x)
Kahloke (2x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
Kegek (2x)
Kirby (2x)
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (10x)
Milo Bloom (2x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
Mistral (3x)
Mojochi
Mr. Adventure
Mysterion
M'Sharak (14x)
NCC-1701 (7x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (44x!) *** BIG WINNER! ***
Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (16x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (47!x)
Redfern (2x)
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (27x)
Sector 7
seigezunt (4x)
Shatmandu (25x)
Shaw (4x)
shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
S'Kai
Sovay
SRFX
ssosmcin
Super Grover
Tallis Rhul
Tan Ru (2x)
T'Bonz (8x)
T'Girl (2x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (4x)
TheGallifreyanSith
The Badger (4x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (22x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (12x) *** BIG WINNER! ***
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Toban Kal
Tribble (9x)
Triskelion (31x) *** SPOCK AWARD! AND SECOND WIN IN TWO WEEKS! ***
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
UssGlenn (2x)
Volphone_the_Fox (2x) ***SECOND WIN IN A ROW! ***
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)
Yeoman Randi (2x)
Zachery Smith

 

[Shatmandu]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Yeoman Flo: "Hope everyone likes pig's feet."

Shatner: "Cut, cut. I think Len's line here should be mine."

Spock: "Man, the Lions get whipped like the mashed potatoes every goddamned year. <throws betting slip>"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

KIRK: Once they clear the table, the swinging begins.

GUARD: So much for the no doping rule.

SPOCK: These contests get harder each week. I got nuthin'

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

McCoy, over viewscreen: "Why aren't you on the bridge, Spock? Is this about you getting it on with Leila Kalomi before Jim could?"

Spock: "He sent me to my quarters, to think about what I've done".

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Seated woman: "... .... ...You want me to get up and serve something, right?"

*Men all nod*

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Vulcan guard (to companion): "You know, S'bob, I was thinking lately. The sky. It's red. The entire planet's wearing red. Earth's sky isn't red. It's blue. So is Andor's. And Tellar's is probably blue as well. So that sort of makes planet Vulcan the "red shirt" of the Federation founders".

S'bob: "I'll keep that in mind if any evil futuristic mining vessels with planet-killing weapons ever show up".

 

[Shatmandu]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Voice from viewer: "Using the small knife, surreptitiously cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn bucket. Be sure you get the popcorn with no salt, as that would be painful."
Spock: "Indeed."

Male voice on viewer: "Hello! Pizza delivery. I hope you like extra sausage ..."
Spock: "Oh, she does ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Miranda Jones was tempted to point out that she could smell that the stuffing was about a week old, but was afraid it'd give away her secret.

Kirk (thinking): Two contests where I get beat up? What did I do to Shatmandu to deserve this?

Spock misses his pussy.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Miranda Jones was relieved when meatloaf was served for Thanksgiving dinner instead of the rotten fish she swore she smelled in the room.

Kirk: A blind man passes a fish market, tips his hat and says, "Hello, ladies."
Miranda Jones: Heard it.

Kirk (thinking): If only he'd hooked up with Lieutenant Uhura while we were at the Academy, then none of this would have to happen.

Spock (to himself): Doctor McCoy was right about Nurse Chapel--the carpet does not, indeed, match the drapes.

 

[Gertch]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Spock: "Now, pick up all those beads. That was my favorite necklace."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Miranda Jones: Mr. Scott, would you please close your legs? It smells of rotten haggis.

 

[Mysterion]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

For Spock it was just another Thanksgiving at the "Kid's Table"...

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

GUARD: You wanna wrap it up? We got a Bar-Mitzvah scheduled here for 1:30.

 

[Kahloke]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Thanks very much for the win, Joe!

The unique composition of Vulcan's atmosphere has the surprising effect of rendering plomeek farts visible to the naked eye. Note T'Pau, at left behind column.

 

[Kahloke]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Witness the latent aftereffects of Spock's mindmeld with 'Uncontrollable diarrhea' McCoy...

 

[johcomp]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Nimoy: Enough is enough!!! Where the f*ck is my BIKE!?!?!

Shatner: Go to the Devil!

Nimoy: Kirk....we have no dev.... SHIT!!!!!!

 

[scottydog]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Spock: "My nude jumping jacks on youtube?"

<unfriends McCoy>

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

GUARD 1: You know the groom?

GUARD 2: Went to school together. I called his mom a whore once.

GUARD 1: I think he heard you.

GUARD 2: Crap!

 

[John Picard]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Remote peeping Science Officer Spock is watching you masturbate.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Re: TOS Caption Contest #153: Thanksgiving: Eating, Fighting, & Loneli

Thanks for the win, Joe!

Blonde Yeoman: *suddenly stiffens* "Uh-uh! Both hands on the table, Mr. Scott!"

Spock: "A-4."

Voice on intercom: "Miss. C-7."

Spock: "You hit my battleship. D-6..."