TOS Caption Contest #97 - Whom Gods Delay

[Outpost4]

This has been interesting. Friday I got well into the judging when my computer crashed and I lost everything. Yesterday, first VillagePhotos.com was off-line for quite a while in the morning and that afternoon, I lost my Internet and then my power for a number of hours. By the time I could get back to judging last night, none of the captions were funny anymore. Maybe I should put this off a little longer...

Yes, this morning many captions were quite funny, thank you, especially Kirk & Pike. I'll have to remember that for a future contest. Find a funny Pike shot.

Regarding winning captions, first the Dehner and transporter pics. Our winners were Noname Given and T'Bonz. It was the first win in a while for both of them. Congratulations!

On a dare, Lt. Gary Mitchell attempted to plug in the "Walking Freezer Unit".

First one to make it to the Bridge gets to shag Rand tonight. Ready, set.....

We also had a photoshop winner in EliyahuQeoni's picture and cooleddie74's caption. Nice work.

Try the pill with Carl Spock's face on it.



Come on.

I dare ya.

Finally, we get to Kirk and Pike. A very tough contest was taken by first time winner, John_Picard. You should win twice for this entry, the competition was that fierce.

Kirk: "They've agreed to give you your own drool cup."

I mean you have all the great beep entries:

Pike: *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*
Kirk: "Is that four yes' or two no's?"


Originally Posted by The Laughing Vulcan

Pike: "Beep Beep!"
Kirk: sigh "Road Runner."
Pike: "Beep"
Kirk: "You know, I hate to say this, but playing charades with you is pretty boring."


Originally Posted by SciFi75

Pike: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Kirk: ::slaps Pike on the back:: Your stuck again, Pike. I'll have to send Scotty to check that out.


Originally Posted by Nerys Myk

STARFLEET TALENT SHOW
KIRK: Baby you can drive my car. Yes I'm gonna be a star
PIKE: beep beep ... beep beep
KIRK: yeah!

You have Chris as a *** jokes:

So is that hot pocket done yet or what?


Originally Posted by John_Picard

Kirk: "Would you mind if I switched you to 105.7 for a bit? The tenth caller gets front row tickets to Van Halen and I need to know when to call."


Originally Posted by Triskelion

It's bad enough you're limited to only saying yes or no. But to add titty-twister knobs on top of it - that's just sadistic. Spock! Bones! Come here, you'll like this.

Terrible accident jokes:

Kirk: "That Orion VD can be a bitch if you don't get the ointment in time."

Reality jokes:

Shatner: "Chris, was that really you?"
Kenney: "Uh...line?"

and, finally, this two part, brutally funny script from Shatmandu:

Kirk: "I read the report: did your balls really burn off in the fire?"
Pike: "..."
Kirk: "Did they pop, like little balloons?"
Pike, eyes flitting to Kirk's: "..."
Pike: "I bet they did. Man, I'll bet that fuckin' hurt! <grabs own crotch> It's making my own nuts hurt just thinking about it, dude! You're killing me! <walks off>"
Pike, with hint of glare: "Beep."

Then later ...

Kirk: "I heard this thing runs off your own waste."
Pike, after long, humiliated pause: "Beep."
Kirk: "Man. What kind of mileage you get?"
Pike stares at him.
Kirk: "Does it go up based on what food you eat? Like if you eat Mexican, you get better mileage?"
Pike, after another long, humiliated pause: "Beep-beep."
Kirk: "Aw, it'd be cool if it did. I'd eat burritos all day and then head to Orlando ..."
Pike, head rocking back and forth as violently as he can: "Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep. Beep-beep ..."
Kirk, squinting and walking away: "Jeez ..."

I mean, how's a guy to choose a winner? This is great stuff from all of you.

One thing the delay gave you is a reprieve of all Omega Glory pics, Fourth of July and all of that. I still will use one, with the second pic from another recently remastered episode.

Now, if I can only get this posted before something else bad happens.



TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (3x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alyssa
ancient
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (14x)

Plus one this time for a total of 15!
cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (8x)
DrBob (7x)
DS9Sega (4x)
EliyahuQeoni (2x)

Plus one this time for a total of 3!
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (18x)
goldbug
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
John_Picard

First Time Winner!
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
Mojochi
M'Sharak (9x)
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nerys Myk (17x)

Noname Given

Plus one this time for a total of 2!
Outpost4 (13x)
Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (23x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (14x)
Shatmandu (11x)

Sir Rhosis (2x)
T'Bonz (7x)

Plus one this time for a total of 8!
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (10x)
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (9x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2)
Tim M (3x)
Triskelion (5x)
Tristan
Turbo
vassa
Woulfe (3x)

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Nona: Nipples! Men here don't have nipples!

Cloud William: This is the sacred book of fake beards.

 

[Outpost4]

...and co-starring Gabby Hayes as the Yang scholar.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Suck root, baby!

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Nona made Kirk horny in a quite unexpected manner.

No medicine woman was going to relieve a bee sting that size.

 

[Gertch]

Boom Chicka

No, no "Wow Wow". It was prime time after all.

Wikipedia says FAIL.

 

[Swarles Barkley]

Cloud William: Dumbledore is gay? Boy, I didn't see that coming!

 

[Triskelion]

Act now and receive this once-in-a-lifetime free bonus gift! Time Life's Running Your Own Flea Market Empire. Not available in stores!

Kirk's gambit paid off. Nona took to "The Baker's Daughter and the Dirty Dough" like a pro.

 

[Kirby]

Cloud William: A book on Chicago Mobsters of the 1920's... What a lovely gift. Thank you!

 

[Jackson_Roykirk]

Nona knew from her years of medicine woman experience that the proper treatment in this situation is to cough up a big piece of phlegm onto the patient's chest.

 

[John Picard]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Even in the 23rd Century, income tax audits could be pure hell.

 

[scottydog]

Cloud William: "This centerfold in Play-Yang magazine sucks!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk (thinking): I hope she knows that's my elbow...

Cloud William: "...and the Fourth Amendment says that chiefs shall have their pick of best women of the land. So it is written and so it shall be obeyed."

Old Guy: "God bless America."

 

[Gertch]

Cloud William: A book on Chicago Mobsters of the 1920's... What a lovely gift. Thank you!

Nice one!

 

[Shatmandu]

Actress, thinking: "C'mon, you can do this: you've done porn."

Cloud William: "We worship the original nacelle caps, not the too-bright, early Remastered ones! Kill them all, now, Warped9!"

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Once sated, Kirk often left his partners to service themselves.

Cloud William: "And thus our people came to celebrate Goatse Day! Brother Maynard will now demonstrate."

 

[Rat Boy]

Cloud William: "A reading from the Gospel of Aaronson. Aaronson, Aaron. Aaronson, Aaron B. Aaronson, Abraham..."

Old Guy: "Amen!"

Kirk: "Uh, you do know that's a phone book you're worshiping, don't you?"

 

[26138]

The Yangs were disappointed after receiving the storyboard for Star Trek XI and seeing that the Enterprise was penciled in without a sombrero.

 

[scottydog]

Cloud William: "There's nothing but bleeps in here."

Kirk: "What did you expect? It's Chris Pike's diary."

 

[Rat Boy]

Cloud William: "There's nothing but bleeps in here."

Kirk: "What did you expect? It's Chris Pike's diary."

Spock: "I believe it's actually Chris Rock's, Captain."