TOS Caption Contest #97 - Whom Gods Delay

[Tim]

Tragically, Nona is struck blind by the reflection from Kirk's waxed chest.

CLOUD WILLIAM: "It is written in the holy book that you will not be in the new movie, Kirk."

 

[Outpost4]

Nona:
OOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...Oklahoma!

Where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet
When the wind comes right behind the rain.
OOOOooooooOOOOOOOO...Oklahoma!
Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I...

 

[Gertch]

^ Isn't that from the new musical, O-Viagra? I think it's still playing at the Boston Wang Center. It's leaving them standing in the aisles.

 

[Outpost4]

With Nona, it was five, six, or sevenplay.

 

[scottydog]

Nona:
EmiliOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOH Estevez, the Mighty Duck himself!

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk, thinking: "She's Tyree's wife: insist on just anal."

Cloud William, under breath to Cloud Festus: "The one with the ears: I'd like to 'yang' his 'com' right now, if you know what I mean ..."
Cloud Festus rolls eyes.

Nona: "I see the Earthmen are just like the men here: one monumental tittyfuck, then they roll over and fall alseep."

 

[Shatmandu]

Cloud William: You said you wanted the Complete Works of Shatmandu. And yes, the book's authentic. My son here was 17 when he started reading this book...yesterday.

If you think it takes a lot out of you to read them, imagine thinking them up ...

Kirk: "Do you want to know if your caption won the contest?"
Pike: "Beep."
Kirk: "No, it didn't."
Pike: "Beep-beep."
Kirk: "Because it was just a bunch of beeps and boops, is why. What the hell were you thinking ..."

Joe, 86 years old physically

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Cloud William: "Johnnyrace fan, it says here you have no chance at winning."

Old guy: "Or nailing the hot chick."

Cloud William: "These pages are stuck together captain, what have you been doing with the pictures of my wife?."

Old Guy (thinking) Evil, Evilllllll

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Nona:
OOOOOOOoooohhh no He splooged already!!!

 

[M'Sharak]

"You heard E Plebmnista already? Alright, schmuck -- you
know Is eram optimus of vicis, is eram pessimus of vicis"?

 

[Maurice]

NONA: Khaaaaaaaaaaan!!!

 

[Outpost4]

Cloud William: This is a complete listing of all Furry humanoids throughout the galaxy. You say you've run into us before?

 

[Shatmandu]

Cloud William: "I givvum ten points for style. But take-um away a hundred, for passing out right after and leaving woman unsatisfied."
Cloud Festus: "One pump chump. Only worthy of a Com woman ..."

 

[Outpost4]

A picture from Cloud William's book of Furry porn.

 

[Gaius Baltar]

for the last time i dont know any davros

kirking even while asleep

 

[Shatmandu]

Cloud Festus regretted thinking a career in the tugjob tent would be glamorous.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Cloud William and his hetro lifemate use the Joy of Sex to help Nona make sweet love to Captain Kirk. However, she seemed to be confused when it came to the "Hand Job."

 

[Locutus of Board]

"Where no man's fist has gone before"

"According to our sacred book, fisting is bad mmmkay?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Cloud William: "My stole? Yes, it is real fur."
Cloud Festus: "Why are you carrying a can of red paint?"

 

[Hambone]

Cloud Brother Maynard: "...first, thou shalt take out thy holy pin. Then, thou shalt count to three. Three shall be the number of the count, and the number of counting shall be...three."

Cloud In My Coffee: "one...two...five!"