TOS Caption Contest #96 - Bent Over

[Outpost4]

I only want 2 see u laughing in the purple rain

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I talked to Uhura. It's okay if you sit here and watch her take a shower."
Pike: "Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeep. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep ..."

 

[Outpost4]

RJDiogenes finally finds the perfect woman.

It will never work. She sees right through him.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Wouldn't it be simpler just to have the transporter make us shorter?"

McCoy: "Don't give Scotty any ideas!"

Pike: *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*

Kirk: "Is that four yes' or two no's?"

 

[scottydog]

Time for a fill-up at the local gas station.

 

[Shatmandu]

Nimoy, offscreen: "Hey, Bill, if your boots didn't have lifts, you wouldn't have to do that ..."

Kirk: "Y'know, those burns make you look like a Navigator we had once or twice ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

This was the first and last time Dr. Dehner did LDS.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

This is your brain on drugs...

...this is your body after drugs.

 

[Swarles Barkley]

This was the first and last time Dr. Dehner did LDS.

Whoa...no more LDS for me either!

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "It's seems unusual for a Federation console to explode like that. But I'm sorry it happened. So how do you control this thing?"

 

[Triskelion]

Chris, Chris, Chris. They were just redshirts, man! They stepped on explosive rocks like three days after you rescued them.

Scotty: Shortest beam down ever, Captain! Especially for Risa!
Kirk: Kling...on...Les...bian...Week!
Scotty: Right in the twig and berries, from the looks of it.

It's bad enough you're limited to only saying yes or no. But to add titty-twister knobs on top of it - that's just sadistic. Spock! Bones! Come here, you'll like this.

 

[Balthier the Great]

I told you fraternity parties on Risa could get a little rough!

Um, bones, we didn't say "Simon Says!"

Remember, don't tease the priceline guy.

 

[Rat Boy]

Pike (thinking): I'm only gone two years and Kirk's replaced my best officers with a cranky good ol' boy, a drunken Scotsman, a closeted Asian, an easily frightened African-American, and an egotistical Russian.

 

[Nerys Myk]

STARFLEET TALENT SHOW

KIRK: Baby you can drive my car. Yes I'm gonna be a star

PIKE: beep beep ... beep beep

KIRK: yeah!

 

[M'Sharak]

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2005-1/940070/kirkpike.jpg

Kirk: "You know, you could try using Morse code."

Pike: **- *--* -*-- --- **- *-* *** *- *** *** **** --- *-** *

To be fair, I had to use an online Morse code translator for that.

If I'd found a translator that read asterisks instead of periods, I probably would have used that to check it. As it was, I recalled just enough Morse to have a pretty good idea what the other characters were going to be.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Chris, I hate to tell you this, but you've got a little something on your face.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: This one goes to 11

 

[Triskelion]

So is that hot pocket done yet or what?

We're ready to be beamed into Nurse Chapel's wardrobe.

Hot Pockets!

 

[cooleddie74]

"Dammit, Chris...

How many times did your crew warn you NOT to microwave stuff with the aluminum foil still on?"

 

[cooleddie74]

"I...uh...hope this isn't a bad time, Chris...


but can I get that ten bucks you owe me?"

On Soviet Enterprise...YOU shock electrical outlet.