TOS Caption Contest #123 - Bend Over

[Outpost4]

There were eleven pages of entries in last week's contest. I can't remember the last time there were so many. My rough cut of possible winners was sixteen captions, again an unusually high amount. That was a good contest.

It was also successful in that we had two first time winners last week in Johnnyracefan and Alrik. It was well past Johnnyracefan's time to succeed as he has entered this contest often and never won. Also winning this week is Sir Rhosis. Dave has many times sent me pictures that have been used for our bonus screen caps, saying he's good for that but never funny enough to win. I guess this lays to rest that assumption. My heartiest congratulations goes out to all of our main winners.

We had three other winners this last week and there the old farts took over. First was a photoshop from Shatmandu of Al Gorn, the pizza delivery lizard, that highlander perfectly captioned. Somehow I think we'll be seeing Al Gorn in furture photoshops. Shatmandu also posted a picture of the Metron that was best captioned by The Laughing Vulcan. TLV won by recycling an old joke. Old guy = Old joke. That's right up my alley. All three of you, keep it going. You make me laugh.

Kirk: "What, me worry? After the commercial break he'll be ten feet away from me and have to approach again."

Director:"Simon says......place a hand on a piece of the set. Oh sorry De, looks like you're out."

Red Shirt: "Flame on!! Oh why can't I flame on"

The product placement in the re-mastered episodes was kinda obvious.

Metron: "Ah, Captain Kirk, your stomach precedes you..."

This next week we have pictures of crew members bending over. I think we are in trouble already. Our bonus pic is from TAS.

Let's go for twelve pages this week!


TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alrik

First Time Winner!
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (20x)

cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (10x)
Dohlman
DrBob (8x)
DS9Sega (6x)
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (22x)

goldbug (2x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (7x)

Plus one this time for a total of 8!
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
Johnnyracefan

First Time Winner!
John_Picard (3x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (3x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (11x)
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (23x)

Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (15x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (33x)

Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (18x)

Sector 7
Shatmandu (21x)

Plus one this time for a total of 22!
shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
Super Grover
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (3x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (14x)

Plus one this time for a total of 15!
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Triskelion (11x)
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Ward Fowler (4x)
Woulfe (4x)

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: For dressing, I said I wanted ranch, not reach!

Spock: Shape up, Mr. Stiles. Our last navigator is now serving grapefruit juice to a puppet.

Scotty: Aye, Mr. Spock, I really need to upgrade my stereo.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

I get a warm glow when my recycled and plagiarised genius is recognised.

Kirk: "It's the first time that's happened."

Rand whispers: "Don't worry hun, there's Viagra in the broccoli."

McCoy: "You guys don't mind if I watch? It's been so long for me I forgot how it's done."

Spock: "Have you seen Mr Sulu?"
Navigator: "No, but if you keep standing like that, you'll soon feel his presence."

Spock: "Shouldn't there also be a blue pill?"

 

[Piper]

It wasn't only the Yeoman's hair that was standing on end.

Spock: My quarters. Half an hour. Ssh.

Where no bean has been before.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Kirk: "Yeoman, when I asked if you'd like to toss my salad, this wasn't what I had in mind."

McCoy: "That's it. I'm outta here."

Spock: "Mr. Stiles, kindly pay more attention to your board and less attention to my peni."

Scotty: "Aye, Mr. Spock, I mentioned to the doctor that I was havin' trouble keepin' me warp coil online, and that's what he prescribed."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk later expressed regrets, in writing, for having Mr. Scott drill a hole in the desktop and his salad plate.

Stiles: "I left my panties in your quart--"
Spock: "Neither the time nor the place, Mister Stiles."

Scotty: "So I guess you've got a normal human penis now, then, eh?"

 

[johcomp]

Kirk: "..and bring some for the Doctor too, Yeoman."

McCoy: "No, no, Jim.... Eating's Cheating!!"



please refer to the alcoholics in space thread

 

[Rat Boy]

The only way to get Kirk to eat his greens was to drug him and have Rand prop him up to force feed him.

Stiles: "So if Romulans look like you people, then they're also...?"

Spock: "Eyes on your board, Mr. Stiles."

Scotty: "Ach, someone's gotten into my secret stash of roofies!"

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: Where are all these bees coming from?
McCoy: Forget the bees, Jim. It's the crabs you've got to worry about.

One day all helm stations will have stepping consoles for first officers.
Dream on, Spock.

- Well I got the Enterprise all put back together Mr Spock. All except for one wee piece.
- Do it again, Mr Scott.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Is that a... penis hanging below your miniskirt."
Rand: "It's still regulation Captain."
Kirk: "It's so... big!"
McCoy: "Wonderful stuff that Romulan Ale."
Kirk: "It does that to women who drink it?"
McCoy: "No, but it gives drunk and hallucinating surgeons ideas."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Oh, trust me, Yeoman. When he wakes up, he won't remember a thing."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "Is that a... penis hanging below your miniskirt."
Rand: "It's still regulation Captain."
Kirk: "It's so... big!"
McCoy: "Wonderful stuff that Romulan Ale."
Kirk: "It does that to women who drink it?"
McCoy: "No, but it gives drunk and hallucinating surgeons ideas."

Kirk: "Are you okay with that Rand?"
Rand: "I don't mind. My roommate quite likes it."
Kirk: "Really? Who's your roommate?"
McCoy: "Sulu."

 

[Rat Boy]

Stiles: "Why are you standing so close to me?"

Spock: "I'm waiting to see if you get replaced by Grignak or Vomit."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "Psst, Rand has a dick. Pass it on."
Stiles: "Hey, Janice has a dick..."
Sulu: "I know."
Stiles: "He already knows Mr Spock."

 

[scottydog]

Rand: "Al Gorn did this to you?"

Kirk: "No. Bones botched my circumcision."

Stiles: "So you had to have two circumcisions?"

Spock: "Eyes on your board, Mr. Stiles."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

McCoy: "Most people I ask for a sperm sample just need a couple of jazz mags and a few minutes in a cubicle. You order a plate of greens, your yeoman to jerk you off, then offer me a glass of vodka and insist I watch...

Fuck the physical Jim, I'm ordering a full psychological workup on you. Vodka for fuck's sake! Do I look like a pinko? Are you nuts?"

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: Yeoman, if you keep doing that there'll be Kirk's Own dressing on that salad.

STILES: What IS that intoxicating scent you're wearing, Mr. Spock?
SPOCK: Kirk's Own salad dressing. Eyes front, mister.

SCOTTY: Aye, it's me stash of those little red pills let me maintain me pasty complexion.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

The captain's yeoman was certainly his "right-hand" woman.

Sexual harassment; the real reason Stiles hated Mr. Spock so much.

Mr. Spock: Mr. Scott, you are well aware that Jewels of Sound are illegal in the Federation.
Mr.Scott: Ack! It wasn't me selling drugs, sir. It's that damn Beckwith again!

-or-

Bones: Sorry, Jim, it's the only way I could get that sample I need to check your sperm count.

 

[scottydog]

Rand: "That's it, Captain. Let me scrape out that last bit of belly-button lint to use as tea-leaves."

<McCoy spits out tea>

Spock: "I can see what are you doing with the middle finger of your left hand."

Stiles: "Back to your viewfinder, Mr. Spock."

Scotty: "Those are the Jeffries Eight-Track Tapes."

 

[Shatmandu]

Stiles: "Did you eat shit for lunch?"
Spock: "I will not have you refer to Miss Uhura in that manner, Mister Stiles."

Scotty: "Apparently, I missed one Tribble."