TOS Caption Contest #122 - Into the Arena

[Outpost4]

I select possible pictures for this contest in batches. I'll often save half a dozen at a time. I pulled the Harry Mudd picture months ago. I've been sitting on it since then, wondering if it was funny enough.

Well, yeah...

Mudd: "Pimpin' ain't easy."

Always with the erotic asphyxiation.

MUDD: <sniff> He didn't pick me! I could just die!

Mudd: "I wish he'd stare at my cleavage like that."

MUDD: Breeders.

Mudd, to himself: "She's had more spins than a bus tire, laddy."

But as funny as all of those are, this one was the winner:

GOSSETT:"Hey...Ben!!!

This one doesn't have an AIR NOZZLE!

Jackpot!!!!"

I guess cooleddie74 is the funniest guy here this week.

As for our other winners, M'Sharak takes home the honors for a second week in a row and it's the return of TLV after too long an absence.

MirrorKirk: You're not letting us out? This dude's Herbert! Right, guys?
MirrorOthers: Herbert! Herbert! Herbert! Herbert! ...

Shatner: "Say, how long does it take to brush those things?"

For this next week, all the pictures come from one of my top five episodes, Arena. You've already seen the picture of Hapless Ensign Redshirt in the previous thread (and I'll judge those captions along with those in this thread for the contest this week). That's our bonus pic as it really is a One Note Charlie. One of the main screen caps this time is a Star Trek classic image. It's of the Gorn towering over an injured Kirk. You flash that picture at people and they'll say, Star Tracks. Oh, well, we can't have everything. The other pic is of Kirk with the whole crew from the end of the episode.

I get to make the first bad Gorn pun!




TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

26138
A beaker full of death (4x)
Adam Ihle (4x)
AlphaTrionTJW
Alyssa (3x)
ancient
Atavachron (2x)
Bad Atom (2x)
Battrekker
brian
cakes516
CaptainJon
Captain Kate (2x)
Classic Fan
commodore64
cooleddie74 (19x)

Plus one this time for a total of 20!
cultcross
DeafPoet
Defcon (2x)
Diesel Micky Dolenz (10x)
Dohlman
DrBob (8x)
DS9Sega (5x)

Plus one this time for a total of 6!
EliyahuQeoni (3x)
EnsignHarper
FishDS9
galleywest (4x)
Gertch (22x)

goldbug (2x)
Guartho
Haggis and Tatties
Hambone (2x)
highlander (6x)

Plus one this time for a total of 7!
Jackson_Roykirk
J. Allen (2x)
jayrath
John_Picard (3x)
jptrekker
Kahloke
Kegek (2x)
Kirby
KJM
Mallory (4x)
MGagen
middyseafort (3x)
Mojochi
M'Sharak (10x)

Plus one this time for a total of 11!
NCC-1701 (6x)
Nebusj
Nerys Myk (22x)

Plus one this time for a total of 23!
Noname Given (2x)
NTRPRZ
Outpost4 (15x)

Quo Vadimus
Rat Boy (32x)

Plus one this time for a total of 33!
Redfern
SciFi75 (5x)
scottydog (18x)

Sector 7
Shatmandu (20x)

Plus one this time for a total of 21!
shivkala
Sir Rhosis (2x)
Super Grover
T'Bonz (8x)
terranova
Tharpdevenport (3x)
the 4th hanson bro (3x)
The Castellan
The Cutest of Borg (2x)
The Laughing Vulcan (13x)

Plus one this time for a total of 14!
The Old Mixer
The Squire of Gothos (10x)
The Tone (2x)
TigerOfDarkness (2x)
Tim M (3x)
Triskelion (11x)
Tristan
Turbo (2x)
vassa
Ward Fowler (3x)

Plus one this time for a total of 4!
Woulfe (4x)

Mudd Club

 

[Outpost4]

Looks like Kirk's a Gorner.

Kirk: Well, you see, I split my trousers battling this giant lizard creature...

Kirk: Has anybody got a match to light these morters? Ahh, Ensign, come over here...

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "Looks like I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue."

 

[Outpost4]

Gorn: You try running around these rocks in a rubber suit and see if you don't want to murder somebody. Go ahead, just try!

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Wait, if you're all here, who's running the ship?
Everyone: Chekov!

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Wait, isn't that Zach Quinto and Wynona Rider running around over there?"

Gorn: "What?!"

*Kirk kicks Gorn in the nads*

Kirk: "Captain Pike?!"

Pike: "Uh, beep?"

Kirk: "I told you not to get too close to the gamma radiation bomb, Dr. Banner!"

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: You Vasquez?

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Don't stab me, bro!"

 

[26138]

Kirk: Hey, don't look at me, mine smell like roses!

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "Say, could you help me get my rocks off?"

Kirk: "I just have to tell you a - you're adorable. B - you're beautiful..."

 

[Sir Rhosis]

Kirk: "What, me worry? After the commercial break he'll be ten feet away from me and have to approach again."

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Kirk: "Wait... why are we fighting with knives and nets when we have these lightsabers strapped to our belts?"

Kirk: "Come and help me push this console back. I want to put my feet up on it when I'm in my chair."

Kirk (off screen): "Oops! Sorry, Ricky!"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Gorn: With this obsidian dildo, I'm going to Wah Chang your ass.

Doomed Redshirt: Well there goes my pension. <poof>

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "I told you. I've moved on."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Redshirt: (singing to himself) Take me to the place where the white boys... AHHHH!!

 

[scottydog]

Kirk, thinking: "Jesus, these green orion slave girls are getting uglier and uglier. But I'll still do her."

Before dying, red shirts often suffered from constipation.

 

[scottydog]

Gorn: "Kirk... your death is assured... do you have any last words?"

Kirk: "Yes. Is your right nipple showing?"

 

[Maurice]

The Gorn paused at the sight of how awesome Kirk is.

KIRK: Dammit, Spock, didn't you teach Leslie to hit his mark? I... Chris?

KIRK (off screen): FLAMER!

 

[AdmiralGarak]

"Gorn": "Psst... Captain. It's me-- Spock."
Kirk: "Spock!?"
Spock: "Yes, Doctor McCoy surgically altered me to look like the Gorn in order to deceive the Metrons."
Kirk: "Incredible! How long did the surgery take?"
Spock: "One minute, precisely."
Kirk: "I don't believe it! You mean to tell me that Bones made you..."
Spock: "Yes, Captain. Gorn in sixty seconds."

 

[Triskelion]

Universal Translator: GRRRRRAGGGGGHHHH!!!
Gorn translation: "I say old chap, let me cut you out of those fetters and we'll go roast some weenies."

Kirk: Everybody stop staring at my gorgeous ass!

Damn you Caliente Pocket!