Movie Caption Contest #123: Holiday Free-For-All

[Candlelight]

Waitress: "The usual honey?"

McCoy: "Sure"

*Waitress strips naked, bounces all over McCoy*

McCoy: "This isn't what I- oh my"

 

[scottydog]

Picard: "All the technologies you've assimilated, and none can help clear up those skin splotches?"

Queen: "We've found this condition to enhance genital beauty."

Picard: "A top-notch splotch crotch?"

Queen: "Exactly."

 

[scottydog]

Beverly: "Kill the bastard! Fire at will!"

Wesley, on ground: "But mom!"

Worf: "If you were any other man, I'd let you live."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Ilsa: But what about us?
Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to Casablanca. We got it back last night.
Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.
Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now... Here's looking at you kid.

 

[Nerys Myk]

LT. HAWK:Damn it Worf, you can't call a full tactical alert everytime you get spooked by a dust bunny under your bunk.

WORF: We should still open fire, just to be sure.

 

[Shatmandu]

Waitress, whispering: "Thanks for the syphilis medicine."
McCoy: "Welcome."
Waitress, shouting: "AND 'FUCK YOU' FOR GIVING ME SYPHILIS."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Beverly: "Kill the bastard! Fire at will!"

Wesley, on ground: "But mom!"

Worf: "If you were any other man, I'd let you live."

Scott, I'm sending you a bill for a new keyboard. My coffee was spewed all over the old one!

 

[Mistral]

A win! Thanks, Rat Boy!

Shatner announces he'll be directing STV and the cast reacts with solemn approval.

 

[Mistral]

"So he's going to send his son, Kal-El, to Earth? Good enough, I guess."

 

[Mistral]

Spiner: "That's both disturbing and wrong."

Burton: "Are they really...?"

Stewart: "Harumph, er, yes, they are. Perhaps we should change the channel?"

 

[Mistral]

Sulu: "Electronic Mastermind? What will they think of next?"

 

[Mistral]

Lt. Hawk: "Are you sure this is the regulation way of getting rid of roaches?"

Crusher: "Just fire the damn phaser, LT!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Ceiling Cat is no longer watching you masturbate.

 

[John Picard]

As seen through Captain Picard's eyes upon awakening:

Dr Crusher: "Jean-Luc, I *really* have to tell you something, and this time you're staying put until I've said it."

 

[Rat Boy]

Worf: "You had sex with Dax?! All right, who else has she slept with?!"

McCoy: "I had sex with Dax."

Spock: "I had sex with Dax."

Kirk: "I had sex with Dax."

Sulu: "According to this, I had sex with Dax."

Valtane: "How's that possible?"

Sulu: "I think she was a man at the time."

Grignak: "Dax with sex had I."

Worf: "Set phasers to kill!"

 

[scottydog]

^ Excellent!

 

[Shatmandu]

Crusher: "We can say 'quay-saunt' any way we please."
All three chant like douchebags: "Quay-saunt! Quay-saunt! Quay-saunt!"

 

[Candlelight]

Ceiling Cat is no longer watching you masturbate.

And, in a matter of seconds, neither will Basement Cat.

 

[Rat Boy]

Sulu: "According to this, Star Trek Online already has a Captain Mason. Guess Rat Boy will have to change the name of his main character in his new fan fic series."

Valtane: "What do I care? I've been dead for seven years."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard (whimpering): "Don't phase me, bro!"