I Hate Myself

[Cheapjack]

Have you tried getting the old red tights on, and having a bit of rough and tumble with James T Kirk? That might give you some confidence. Boxing requires aggression, but there's Aikido and heavy weight training. If you're wide-shouldered and shy, that's a bit of a leg up.

 

[Jetfire]

Escort service.

 

[Cheapjack]

I wonder whether it's possible to transmit 'Will to F***', over the internet? Altogether now!

 

[Jetfire]

^
It is more than just about sex...it is about being comfortable talking & being with an attractive woman.

If drugs & counseling are not working...look into hypnotherapy Shran.

 

[Cheapjack]

I don't think paying for it will.

Can't you get just a date, you can pay for, in America? Just a date? Talking, for a half an hour, an hour?

 

[Jetfire]

^
I assume so.

 

[Cheapjack]

Those psychiatrists are not worth it, after all this. I've just googled, you can.

God, I'd pay to sit with a stunner.

 

[Jetfire]

You can be around attractive women at a strip club too and talk and not really pay...but it helps keep a gal around if ya tip.

 

[Cheapjack]

Yes, but you are out where other people can see you, in a bar.

I don't think you can get them, in the UK.

A smile from a shop assistant makes my day. It does for married men, too, I think.

 

[Jetfire]

Every girl I have dated has either been from school, work or through a friend of a friend...the last girl I dated I met online...and she was crazy. I think Shran needs to be actively socially and be involved in activities where he is in contact with alot of different people. I once got set up with a gal I still am not over through an ex-girlfriend.

 

[Cheapjack]

I don't think those dating agencies are all online. They check you out and you check them out. And, I think, they would prod him, too, calm him, reassure him and those around him.

Maybe they're a con, too. I don't think so, they're a great idea, I heard of them twenty years ago, and hoped they would come to england.

Admiral isn't on an island. He's been around people for years. They're just playing a game they don't seem to want him playing.

I would say, too, that I think that even Bruce Willis, when he asked Demi Moore out, and Richard Gere, with Cindy Crawford, had a tiny bit of what Admiral gets. It's just ten times stronger in Admiral than with most people. Bruce and Richard just have a bit of that exhiliration, confidence, that counters it. Admiral might get that from a dating agency. I has a bit of it two weeks ago.

 

[Listener4]

It's nice to see this issue talked about and that many people are trying to help.

I turn 28 in about a week and have never been on a date. This is embarrassing and something that's hard to talk about openly.

While I believe those commenting here have good motives, I don't know if its possible for most people to really understand what it's like to have no relationship experience at a late age. It can be devastating to one's self esteem to see very young people able to date and have relationships, seemingly with little difficulty, yet find it impossible myself.

I've talked about this issue with my friends, and extensively on forums and chat rooms with others who have had similar experiences.

Over time I've identified many reasons for my situation, my shy and withdrawn personality, my religious upbringing, my non mainstream tastes and opinions, as well as overall changes in society that have made having relationships more difficult. I consider knowing these things worthwhile and important, but ultimately just knowing them, can end up being yet another barrier to having a relationship.

I tend to have a very negative view of pharmaceutical drugs and psychologists, but some claim that these things have helped them. But it's not a path I'm going to go down.

For me I think the issue comes down to a sense of powerlessness a lack of control over my own life. This is the issue that I am trying to deal with now, to gain control over myself, my body and mind, my own actions and thoughts, to develop confidence in my abilities and gain a greater sense of self worth.

Talking to others, looking for guidance, advice, encouragement, I think is a good thing, and can be helpful, but ultimately it comes down to the force a will, a determination to achieve your goal, and a refusal to give up.

 

[Jetfire]

Talking to others, looking for guidance, advice, encouragement, I think is a good thing, and can be helpful, but ultimately it comes down to the force a will, a determination to achieve your goal, and a refusal to give up.

That is pretty much it...with anything in life.

 

[Admiral Shran]

It can be devastating to one's self esteem to see very young people able to date and have relationships, seemingly with little difficulty, yet find it impossible myself.

QFT. I can't tell you how many times I've been literally consumed with envy whenever I see a couple of teenagers in a relationship.

For me I think the issue comes down to a sense of powerlessness, a lack of control over my own life. This is the issue that I am trying to deal with now, to gain control over myself, my body and mind, my own actions and thoughts, to develop confidence in my abilities and gain a greater sense of self worth.

Again, this is exactly how I feel. If I can't control what is the most important thing in my life, it leaves me feeling rather powerless over the course of my own life. This is the one thing I want out of life, more than anything else. And yet, despite the fact that I try and try and want to do it so much, I simply can't. Very depressing.

 

[Jetfire]

Shran

Thinking negatively isn't going to help you...so why bother?...focus on positive thoughts and your goals...dwelling on all the bad stuff...WILL NOT HELP!

I think this thread should be closed...and you should start a new one...called "I Love Myself" or "I Love My Life" and you post what is going right...in your life.

Seriously...how is focusing on all the negative gonna help?

I have been where you are...eventually you have to say "fuck all that bullshit!" The only person who can help/change things is you. I suggested hypnotherapy since nothing seems to be working.

Dwelling on what you don't have won't get you anywhere...You have got to only focus on what you want...not on what you don't want or what you don't have...or what other people want from you...WHAT YOU WANT!

[edit] A woman(female) is just like you...we are all people...putting anyone on a pedestal...will not help.

 

[Amaris]

It's nice to see this issue talked about and that many people are trying to help.

I turn 28 in about a week and have never been on a date. This is embarrassing and something that's hard to talk about openly.

While I believe those commenting here have good motives, I don't know if its possible for most people to really understand what it's like to have no relationship experience at a late age. It can be devastating to one's self esteem to see very young people able to date and have relationships, seemingly with little difficulty, yet find it impossible myself.

I've talked about this issue with my friends, and extensively on forums and chat rooms with others who have had similar experiences.

Over time I've identified many reasons for my situation, my shy and withdrawn personality, my religious upbringing, my non mainstream tastes and opinions, as well as overall changes in society that have made having relationships more difficult. I consider knowing these things worthwhile and important, but ultimately just knowing them, can end up being yet another barrier to having a relationship.

I tend to have a very negative view of pharmaceutical drugs and psychologists, but some claim that these things have helped them. But it's not a path I'm going to go down.

For me I think the issue comes down to a sense of powerlessness a lack of control over my own life. This is the issue that I am trying to deal with now, to gain control over myself, my body and mind, my own actions and thoughts, to develop confidence in my abilities and gain a greater sense of self worth.

Talking to others, looking for guidance, advice, encouragement, I think is a good thing, and can be helpful, but ultimately it comes down to the force a will, a determination to achieve your goal, and a refusal to give up.

Holy shit, you talk like me.
Let me give you a quick bit of insight.

1] Sacrificing your social life and health for the greater good is neither great nor good.

2] There are millions of people who are looking for someone to love them. You are one, but there are many more like you. Don't be the one that thinks you're alone. You're not.

3] Along that same line, there are millions of individuals who do not believe they can find someone to love them. Think about it. Millions of people who have the same social fears and worries. That means if you try hard enough, and cast your net wide enough, you WILL encounter someone to whom you can connect with. How's that for odds?

4] Willpower will only take you so far. Eventually you will run out of fuel. This means you have to find a source of power that regenerates, and that source is confidence. Know your value, know that you are equal in standing on a human level. Remember, we're all humans, no greater and no lesser than that.

5] When it's all boiled down, confidence is what happens when you realize that all people can really fight you with are their opinions, and you realize that your opinion is just as powerful and arbitrary. If you can realize that you're one voice, you can use that to know that they are each one voice. One of many. Make your own path.

What happens is that those who feel this way lose sight of the forest for the trees. Everything closes in and suffocates. This doesn't have to happen, it really doesn't, and nothing good will come of it.

Look deep within yourself and ask yourself if you may be sabotaging your future in the name of purity and standard that cannot possible be measured up against a mere mortal.

Oh, and one more thing: dedication does not mean indentured servitude.

Think about it.

 

[Cheapjack]

More layered, sympathetic and insightful than my: 'Basically, it's your shot'.

Also, if you have relatives, Admiral, when you get to 95 and eventually die, you may be seen by them as just; 'That sad old uncle who never got a girlfriend'.

Bit blunt, I suppose.

 

[RegFan]

You should think about what exactly it is that you are afraid of. That would make it easier to find a solution to your problem.

You could try lucid dreaming about interacting with women. I don't know if it works in your case, but I've heard that it works for curing some phobias. In any case, it can't hurt.

Self-suggestion would probably lessen your fear, make you feel more confident and help you think positively to some extent. I do it by closing my eyes and thinking repetitive thoughts about my goal.

I think it's important that you approach women as people, not as women.

I'd like to say that I like you a lot as a friend. I'm sure there are many women who would love to have you as a boyfriend, if you just get over your fear.

 

[Shazam!]

when you get to 95 and eventually die, you may be seen by them as just; 'That sad old uncle who never got a girlfriend'.

THE DREAM

 

[Char Aznable]

Just get a hooker for crying out loud. You'll have had to pay a woman to fuck you, but at least you'll lose the V-Card.