Starting new things - advice?

[Annie McCoy]

Some background:
So I've recently started university and was hoping to find more people with similar interests as me, which to an extent I have as I do computer science but there are very few girls and also few people with similar interests (that are social outside of societies). I struggle with socialising anyway - people that are into the same nerdy stuff don't peg me for it and people that I befriend easier aren't into those interests.

Anyway, I've always wanted to get more into tabletop games and DnD and stuff - just haven't had the opportunity until now. A cafe in my city is hosting a total beginners DnD event in a couple weeks, I want to go but I would be going by myself. Does anyone have advice for not feeling like a total outsider when joining a new community and hobby? I know it'll likely be welcoming and over the past few years I've noticed a more welcoming shift to young women (like from the owner of my local Warhammer shop who is a sweetheart and lets me paint for free), I'm just terrified I'll go and then be a few hours of feeling uneasy or dumb or something? I know to find my people I have to try things, any advice for the daunting feeling?

 

[Colonel Midnight]

Take up bartending, if you’re old enough. Seriously.

It helped break down a lot of mental barriers for me, weird as it sounds. It causes socialization (most people like beverages of some sort at events), but it’s controlled socialization to some extent, I.e, once they’ve been served their drink of choice… they move on.

Plus, being behind the bar gives you ‘space’, so you’re ‘in’ the crowd… but still separate.

It also helps with the whole small talk thing as you’re mixing up a drink for the person.

And, to top it off… you get paid (and tipped / complimented), not a bad thing!

YMMV, of course.

Cheers,
-CM-

 

[DonIago]

A lot of my bolder decisions have been governed by the cost-benefit formula of, "If I go and have a bad time, will I feel worse than I'll feel if I don't go and have no idea whether I might have had a really good (perhaps even life-changing) time?"

So I say, go! Worst-case, you end up feeling a little uneasy and dumb. Best-case, you may make friends you'll have for the rest of your life!

Besides, if it's a D&D event, there's almost certainly going to be at least one person there who's even more socially awkward than you are.

 

[Victoria]

I'd second Donlago here and add that it's an event designed for beginners.

That means the people running it will be going out of their way to make sure attenders are welcomed and included. They want people to have a good time. They want new bugs. And, on these occasions, experts just love having people with which they can share their enthusiasm.

Go on. Make their day. And yours.

 

[DonIago]

I have to admit, sometimes people being extroverted toward me in that manner kind of creeps me out a little bit too, but I try to appreciate their intention.