I use "they" and "them" a lot, though there are some contexts where it sounds awkward. Still preferable to using some invented word though, IMO.The gender neutral pronoun in English is it. There's nothing wrong with using that pronoun to refer to a person who prefers neither male nor female gender. What do people say when they ask a baby's sex? "Is it a boy or a girl?" Some people may say that it is dehumanizing. But it doesn't have to be if we use it correctly. Just as the word gay changed meanings, so too can it loose its dehumanizing connotation.