TOS Caption Contest #128 - Record Time

Mira Romaine felt a tremor in the Force. As if a million velour pullovers had suddenly cried out in the cold wash...and were suddenly shruken.

 

The guest stars always enjoyed hearing what Shatner had done to Doohan's wife.

 

Re: Caption Contest #128 - Record Time

Meeting Minutes: And this concludes the Sewer Planning Commission meeting for the week of March 2nd. Now somebody get a mop and cleanup Outposts4 movement which still remains on the floor.

 

And then it finally hit her: he wasn't named "Doohan" at all. It was "Do-Hand" and that was just what everyone called him.

 

Re: Caption Contest #128 - Record Time

... and light a match, for God's sake.

Joe, noted notary

 

Scotty couldn't manage to get Princess Leia'd with Mira...so he was forced to Hand Solo.

 

SULU: Sounds like something I heard last night.

 

McCoy: "You might hear it again tonight."

 

McCoy: Damn it Jim, I told you they have to be nude before doing jumping jacks - even that blasted Vulcan anatomy can't handled a fully clothed jumping jack!

 

McCoy to sickbay: They look like peaches, smell like peaches, taste like peaches...but they ain't peaches.

 

Re: Caption Contest #128 - Record Time

And for fuck's sake....wash your hands!!!

 

The crew of the Enterprise never had much luck with dating. When Scotty asked the Lt out she just laughed at him...




... Sulu got so tired of rejection he tried to hold onto Uhura, even after she'd told him quite firmly where to go...



... while in the end Kirk and McCoy got so desperate they drugged Spock and beamed him down to an empty planet to enjoy some quality time with him.

 

Scotty: Captain, she cannae hold it in much longer! If the sewer planning commission meeting doesn't end soon, she's gonna blow!

(Sorry, I heard a bandwagon.)

 

Romaine: "My mouth! Stop it burning!"
Scott: "Aye, that would be the gastric acid."
Romaine: "Gastric... What kind of psychopath would put acid in porridge?!"
Scott: "Porridge, what do ye think I am? Some kind of fucking stereotype? One of the junior engineers threw up."
Romaine: "Into a bowl?"
Scott: "That's the funny bit..."

 

.[/quote]

Scotty: Aye lass are you sure your name is Romaine now is it?

Romaine: Yup...just like the lettuce!

Scotty: Since yer so damn frigid maybe ye should of been named "Iceberg".

Romaine.......haaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Oh Monty that is sooooooooooo funny! So funny that you're not getting that hand job I promised you.

Monty: That's all right dearie I'll just take care of meself right now and I'll allow you the pleasure of watching.

Romaine: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Oh Monty two zingers in a row, "allow me to watch"...oh that is just precious!

 

Re: Caption Contest #128 - Record Time



Sulura: Ooooh myyyyy you do look smaaaaashing!!!! What have you done with yourself ---?? I can't quite put a finger on it... Is that a new hair-do?
Uhurulu: Right back at ya sugar pie.....you look fantastic too! Whatever you've done with yourself it's a HUGE improvement.

 

McCoy to Enterprise: "No, no, he'll be fine. Uhura snuck down and did us a fan dance, is all."

 

McCoy: "Okay, now we're really out a captain and a first officer to replace him."

 

Kirk: Um... Bones, I'm still here.

McCoy slowly draws his phaser...

 

Sulu: "What's my tatoo say?"

Uhura: "Dude! What's mine say?"

Sulu: "Sweet! What's mine say?"

Uhura: "Dude! What's mine say?"