Contest: ENTER TOS Caption Contest #312: A Russian Invention

Chekov: Keptin, I vould like a transfer to security.

Kirk: Find my runaway nephew, and I'll promote you to chief.

 

Uhura (via communicator): My visual says sunny skies and seventy degrees.
Chekov: Oh, look, Keptian, the sun's come out. It's a miracle!

 

KIRK: "I'm sorry men, but as long as the Federation council is shut down none of us are getting paid."

 

CHEKOV: Vait, ve get paid????

 

Chekov: Next you’ll be telling us we’re military.

 

Kirk: Mr. Chekov, have you ever heard of something called an agony booth?
Chekov: No, Keptin. Vhat is it?
Kirk: Let`s just call it payback for putting a whoopie cushion on my chair this morning.

 

When Koenig was asked to say "Nuclear Wessels" once too often.

 

Chekov: Mental note: Next time, do not use my thumb to check how sharp the blade is. Hey! Anyone see a thumb laying around here?

 

KIRK: Mr Chekov? It's your turn to babysit NOMAD.

 

CHEKOV: Vhy don't ve have bathrooms on the ship, Keptin?

 

Flinn: "Oh great, now the MCP put us in a recreation of a classic Star Trek episode. Is there anything you can do, Bit?"

Bit: "NO."

 

Kirk: "That's why it's called a Vaalian beanfruit, Mr. Chekov."
Chekov: "Ah. I vas starting to vonder..."

 

Thanks for the win, LH.



Chekov: "I'm wery sorry, Dr Marcus, Reliant is experiencing a temporal anomaly at the moment...."

 

Slimer was old, and not quite his former self, but he was still very determined....



Chekov's addiction was driving him mad. His gum had lost its flavor and he'd stuck it on the wall. He needed a fresh supply, but he'd run out of coins to get more from the machine. Now he was in desperate pursuit of some of those 'officer quarters'....

 

Kirk: "Mister Chekov, if you don't stop listening to that striped-suited little moron over there, I'm going to rip this function-less prop off the wall behind me and beat you over the head with it!"

Spock: "Sir, may I point out, that is not a 'function-less prop'. That is a...."

Kirk: "Now is not the time, Spock!"

 

Scotty: "She's packing quite a wallop!"

Kirk: "A Klingon ship that can fire while cloaked and that has time-distorting capability?!? Damn. Just....damn."

McCoy: "I just hope they can cloak the stench."

Chekov: "I don't tink anyvone has dat capability yit."

Uhura: You certainly don't!"

 

Chekov: "The apple!"

Kirk: "The cucumber!!"

Yeoman Landon: "The hair!!! "

Choosing the best title for the episode had proven to be quite difficult....

 

The bridge crew of the Enterprise could never do a proper hokey pokey

 

Chekov: "Vot?!? No! Eweryvone knows dat is Bernie Sanders!"

 

Chekov: Good morning, everyone. Tomorrow at 0000 hours, we will do a shakedown cruise. Please do not fall in sleep. Thank you for your attention.


Kirk: Chekov! Not THIS kind of shakedown cruise!
Chekov: Captain! Two more torpedoes incoming!


Chekov: Captain. This is the garden spot of Ceti Alpha VI...