Contest: ENTER TOS Caption Contest #312: A Russian Invention

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by LeadHead, Jan 1, 2019.

  1. Finn

    Finn Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Austin
    [​IMG]


    Redshirt 1: *psst* he looks nothing like his portrait at Starfleet Command

    Redshirt 2: *whispers* That's because he submitted a picture of his favorite actor, Chris Pine, before taking command
     
  2. Doc Mugatu

    Doc Mugatu Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2018
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    Mr. Spock: Captain Kirk and ensign Chekov, I must confiscate your hairpieces as they are the byproduct of illegally hunted "blood" tribbles.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2019
  3. Doc Mugatu

    Doc Mugatu Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2018
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    Chekov: Kill the vabbit. KILL THE VABBIT!
     
  4. Doc Mugatu

    Doc Mugatu Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2018
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    Chekov: Sorry Keptin, I should have mentioned my lactose intolerance before we had the ice-cream cake.
     
  5. Doc Mugatu

    Doc Mugatu Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2018
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    Kirk: Be honest. I split my pants AGAIN?

    Chekov: Not so much the ripped pants, sir, but the going "commando" that's unsettling.

    Yeoman: Oh my God, you have a vestigial tail!

    Kirk: I prefer to call it my "auxiliary penis" and, yes, I am happy to see you.
     
  6. Cutie McWhiskers

    Cutie McWhiskers Commodore Commodore

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    May 18, 2017
    Location:
    The clinic located by the Q Continuum

    ##WIN!!!
     
  7. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Kirk: "I'm sorry, Mr. Chekov, but Khan is coming aboard so I need you to be hidden away so later you can piss of a bunch of nerds who live in their parent's basements and have never kissed a girl. Or guy as the case may be."
     
  8. Mr Soak

    Mr Soak Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2001
    Location:
    Mr Soak, [Redacted]
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    Chekov: Sir, is there a reason there are few women on board?
    *everyone steps a little closer*
    Chekov: Sir, I am distinctly uncomfortable, right now.


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    Chekov: Sir, it's an alien possession storyline ahead!
    Kirk: Red Alert! Get us out of here maximum warp!
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Kang, now with ridges Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    House of Kang
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    CHEKOV: Gourd trees. We aren't in Kazakhstan anymore.
    KIRK: Isn't that "Kansas"?
    CHEKOV: No, I'm pretty sure it's Kazakhstan.
     
  10. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2016
    Location:
    Mississauga
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    Chekov: "Okay, zat wasn't the right button, either. Vat does zis one-"
    Kirk: "Hands off the controls, Ensign!"
     
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  11. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    May 26, 2018
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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    KIRK: Damn your plotting, Chekov! We've hit an iceberg!
     
  12. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    May 26, 2018
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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    Chekov is the first one to spot the iRex...
     
  13. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    May 26, 2018
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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    CHEKOV: What am I doing on a comm-lock viewscreen? And in color?
     
  14. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

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    May 26, 2018
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    Empire Falls, Maine
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    Ah. Russian Pac-Man!
     
  15. Laura Cynthia Chambers

    Laura Cynthia Chambers Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2016
    Location:
    Mississauga
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    Captain's log, supplemental: After a lengthy investigation, Enterprise's security team believes it has located the person who snuck into my quarters and used up my last bottle of volumizer....
     
  16. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Location:
    standard orbit
    TFTW, @LeadHead!

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    Chekov: I just hope that lightning really doesn't strike tvice!
     
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  17. Ryan Thomas Riddle

    Ryan Thomas Riddle Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2003
    Location:
    The Bay Area
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    CHEKOV: Keptian! We've smashed directly into the plot of this episode!

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    Kirk: No one look at Ms. Uhura's bloomers! Eyes straight ahead, gentlemen.
     
  18. Doc Mugatu

    Doc Mugatu Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2018
    "Take the last shuttle to Eden
    And I'll meet you at the DS9 station
    You can be there by oh-four-thirty
    'Cause I've made your reservation, don't be slow
    Oh, no, no, no
    Oh, no, no, no"
     
  19. Tenacity

    Tenacity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
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    * fart *

    Chekov: "I not think anyone will think that was me."
     
  20. IMC Headquarters

    IMC Headquarters Captain Premium Member

    Joined:
    May 26, 2018
    Location:
    Empire Falls, Maine
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    KIRK:. Yes. Your check bounced, Chekov.