I do not get all the Spock's Pon farr problem.
In Amok time, one learns that a Vulcan needs to have sex with that specific person (+ mind meld), or he dies. And later, we see one does not have to have sex at all, he can fight to death and be killed, or he can kill someone. Aaaand, then we see the defeated person does not even have to be dead, it just should seem so. And the person who he had mind meld with, was T'Pau.
So, why it was such a problem? It seems he just needed some vigorous physical activity. And mind meld with someone.
The answer to this one is simple and enlightening.
Vulcans--in general--are closed-minded and irrational people, capable of great dishonesty both to themselves and others. They repeatedly and consistently lie about their emotions, and they repeatedly lie about not lying. When it comes to sexuality, their duplicity knows no bounds.
There is a cloud of misinformation about Vulcan sexuality that confuses not only Human observers, but even misleads individual Vulcans unless it is debunked by a knowledgeable elder who is willing to bear the embarrassment of explaining it. They seem to allow this subject to be a huge blind spot both individually and as a culture.
Tuvok admits in "VOY: Blood Fever" that there is nothing rational about Vulcan sexuality. The fact that the Doctor's holo-treatment works--which seems to be just advanced masturbation--demonstrates that even in the late 24th Century, this deliberate irrationality persists.
- Don't believe anything a Vulcan tells you about Pon Farr.
- Don't assume a Vulcan even knows the facts about Pon Farr themselves.
- Don't be surprised when Vulcan "popular wisdom" on this topic seems to vary from person to person, or century to century.