A credit card is a worthless piece of plastic if your holodeck can't materialize an account.
What would you do if you had a holodeck in your home?
- Thread starter Cidoc
- Start date
And from where is your holodeck getting that information?
^Don't hold your breath for an answer to that. I can say no more.
I think I'll go simple and just replicate some nice beach somewhere. With a lounge chair, a table, a bucket of iced Coronas, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
At least not until he started putting Kira's head on the holo-whores.
Seriously though, I wouldn't want a Holodeck in my house. It's too distracting and the cost and maintainence would make it a chore. And then there's costumer service:
Dials 1(800) Hol-odek
Holodeck Repair Service Automated System: "Hello, and welcome to the automated Holodeck Costumer Service Center. For Klingon, press or say 'one" now. For Spanish, press or say 'two' now, for obscure Mantalkin press or say 'three' now, and for English, say English now."
Me: "English."
System: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Can you say that again?"
Me: "English!"
System: "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Can you sa--"
Me: "Goddamnit, English! Klingon isn't even a real language!"
System: "Okay. What do you need help with today? Paying a bill, updating your account, getting lost in our automated message system which will enevitably lead you to hanging up and trying again, or repair problems? Say any of those commands now."
Me: "Repair."
System: "Okay. Pleass select one of the following options: for problems with accessing the Holodeck, press one now; for issues with it staying frozen, press two now; if your Holodeck characters have gained sentiance and are trying to take over your house and/or kill you, press three now; for--"
PRESSED THREE
System: "First, please make sure the safeties are enabled and the computer is responding to your verbal commands. I'll wait a second while you check."
Me: "Yes, yes, it's all fine, hurry, this old litterary character is trying to kill me."
System: "Okay. Try ending program."
Me: "No, shit! That was my second effort!"
System: "Okay. Please hold on while we transfer you to Holodeck Gone Ary Resolution Center employee in India who can barely speak English."
Me: "NO!!!"
MUZAK VERSION OF THE ST: TNG THEME PLAYS. ANOTHER AUTOMATED VOICE PICKS UP
System: "Hello, and welcome to the Holodeck Gone Ary Resolution Center. Unfortunately, the service center is closed for the day. If this is an emergency, please leave your name and number and a representative will get back to you during operating hours. Good-bye!"
HANGS UP ON ME
Dials 1(800) Hol-odek
Holodeck Repair Service Automated System: "Hello, and welcome to the automated Holodeck Costumer Service Center. For Klingon, press or say 'one" now. For Spanish, press or say 'two' now, for obscure Mantalkin press or say 'three' now, and for English, say English now."
Me: "English."
System: "I'm sorry, I didn't understand you. Can you say that again?"
Me: "English!"
System: "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. Can you sa--"
Me: "Goddamnit, English! Klingon isn't even a real language!"
System: "Okay. What do you need help with today? Paying a bill, updating your account, getting lost in our automated message system which will enevitably lead you to hanging up and trying again, or repair problems? Say any of those commands now."
Me: "Repair."
System: "Okay. Pleass select one of the following options: for problems with accessing the Holodeck, press one now; for issues with it staying frozen, press two now; if your Holodeck characters have gained sentiance and are trying to take over your house and/or kill you, press three now; for--"
PRESSED THREE
System: "First, please make sure the safeties are enabled and the computer is responding to your verbal commands. I'll wait a second while you check."
Me: "Yes, yes, it's all fine, hurry, this old litterary character is trying to kill me."
System: "Okay. Try ending program."
Me: "No, shit! That was my second effort!"
System: "Okay. Please hold on while we transfer you to Holodeck Gone Ary Resolution Center employee in India who can barely speak English."
Me: "NO!!!"
MUZAK VERSION OF THE ST: TNG THEME PLAYS. ANOTHER AUTOMATED VOICE PICKS UP
System: "Hello, and welcome to the Holodeck Gone Ary Resolution Center. Unfortunately, the service center is closed for the day. If this is an emergency, please leave your name and number and a representative will get back to you during operating hours. Good-bye!"
HANGS UP ON ME
But even then, we had no evidence he had broken a law. Kira was pissed that her likeness was used in this manner without her consent, but as Quark received no official reprimand or punishment, what he did apparently is legal.
Two words: Xenia Onatopp
Riker tried to say that it was "against Starfleet regulations." Geordi informed him it really isn't, and then Riker said "it should be."
Make sure those safeties are on.
This was my first thought. My second was to build an interface like Barclay had to take over the information networks of the real world. My third was to create holodeck versions of 24th century manufacturing equipment that could be fed *real* raw materials brought in from outside the holodeck to make *real* 24th century equipment - including engines, shields, phasers, batteries, replicators, and... more holodecks. Just because the stuff generated in the holodeck can't leave doesn't mean nothing can be transformed by it and then leave. My Starfleet will be in orbit shortly.
Why are you being so negative? Think of it this way, instead: you were offered a holodeck and asked what you would do with it. Do you think @Cidoc is evil enough to not provide a sufficient power supply in that scenario?
Now... disconnect that power supply, hook it into the power grid, and make a fortune selling power back into the system.
Um... you *do* realize that the people sending you products and ultimately not getting paid will know where they sent them, yes?
To play devil's advocate: I'm fairly certain that hacking early 21st century credit card databases would be child's play for a computer capable of running a holodeck. (It just seems like small potatoes compared to what you *could* do.
)
Computer, load program Mortal Kombat, difficulty level easy. Computer, replace all opponents with images of Donald Trump.
I'm a runner and do obstacle course races, so I'd use it for training, or I'd use it to simulate and get another shot at races I sucked at. Like, Spartan Killington 2014 is known as one of the best OCR events, but when I ran it I was undertrained, failed half the obstacles, and ran late in the day when there were huge backups. And, they got rid of some of the best obstacles over liability concerns. So I'd run it again in the first wave and get another crack at it.
Or I'd use it to create custom randomized rock climbing routes at specific difficulties. Or just running when the weather outdoor sucks and I'd rather run on the road or on a trail than a treadmill.
I'm a runner and do obstacle course races, so I'd use it for training, or I'd use it to simulate and get another shot at races I sucked at. Like, Spartan Killington 2014 is known as one of the best OCR events, but when I ran it I was undertrained, failed half the obstacles, and ran late in the day when there were huge backups. And, they got rid of some of the best obstacles over liability concerns. So I'd run it again in the first wave and get another crack at it.
Or I'd use it to create custom randomized rock climbing routes at specific difficulties. Or just running when the weather outdoor sucks and I'd rather run on the road or on a trail than a treadmill.
"You don't need the phaser... Captain."
"That depends on your definition of safe sex."
Upon further reflection, I think that for me, sexytimes scenarios would often take a back seat to some real "American Psycho" scenes. To hell with Freud, sometimes a knife is just for stabbing dumbasses. 
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