TOS Caption Contest #248: Awkward Moments!

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Wow, sorry for taking so long to get back to y’all. This has gotta be one of the best runs ever. Here are:

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So simple, and yet so perfect...

Sulu: "If you aim it off to the side like this, you won't get as much on your hands."
Riley: "We're talking about tetralubisol, right?"
Sulu: "Whatever."

Echoes of Olivia Newton John...

Riley singing: "You're the one that I want, the one that I want... ooh ooh ooh!!"

I hear ya...

mumbling "...don't even know why I bother, no one appreciates a good John Wayne impression in this century..."

And his GPA plummetted...

Riley was taking correspondence classes from the Milford school in not being noticed.

The legacy of Porthos...

[squish sound]

Redshirt Ron: Son of a...

[wipes his shoe on the floor]

Redshirt Ron: I swear. If I ever find that damn dog that keeps shitting all over the place I'm going to shot the little bastard.

Funny ‘cos it’s true...

Why white guys should never attempt the "Soul Shake"

There were so many great ones to choose from, so I chose only one. Please don’t hate me:

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When you can’t say it logically, say it with a finger...

Riley: "Yes, I heard you Mr. Spock. And here's my answer."

Let us not forget the:

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Gotta say, I feel the love...

Spock: "Hey, anybody heard anything from A.V.I.A.F.?"

Voice on radio: "Affirmative! He called in some artillery fire coordinates a few minutes ago. And we hit it."
Spock: "What? No! He was calling in extraction coordinates. For where a helicopter could pick him up!"
Voice on radio: "Oh. Shit. Well...in that case, no, we haven't heard from him."

And yes, here are the:

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Soldier-Spock: "This can't be good..."

.

So subtle, I almost missed this one...

Spock: "I say again, the situation is most illogical!"

Congratulations to the winners and thanks again to all who entered. For this round: a series of awkward moments. Have at it!

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK (whispering) There are no women in Command...there are no women in Command.

(Opens eyes)

Damn she's still there!

SPOCK: I'm sure its not what it looks like.

MCCOY: Oh, it's what it looks like alright.

SPOCK: I have several suggestions on how to repair the problem. If you are interested.

SCOTTY: I'm not.

MCCOY: Impossible! Vulcan first contact won't happen for more than a century!

KIRK: Okay, boxing isn't your thing. Maybe wrestling.

PIKE: Thanks, but I won't need a stand-in for this scene.

SULU: A katana? No, that's not racist at all.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

KIRK: (thinking) "Dam-it I knew I should have put a post-it on her head the morning after"
Yomen: (thinking) "What a jerk he doesn't even care the rabbit died"

SPOCK: "Jim, that's Khan"

MCCOY: "Really?, great work!"

KIRK: "What?"

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk knew he was losing his mojo when the women would just walk right past him.

Spock: Are we interrupting?

Kirk: Yes.

McCoy: Good! We brought popcorn!

Scotty: I'm sorry Mister Spock, there's no hot wiring this one.

McCoy: Huh, it IS a phaser in your pocket.

Kirk: Oooo, I kinda like that. I mean, No, Charlie, you're not supposed to randomly slap people on the behind.

Pike Illusion: So long, sucker.

Sulu: (reading inscription) Made in the USA?

 

[inflatabledalek]

Kirk: Damn Romulan ale, I got so drunk last night I broke my oath of not fraternising with crewmembers and rode that yeoman like a pony.

Spock: You were more drunk than you think, it was Mr. Kyle.

"Captain... are you wearing a corset?!"

Spock: Mr. Scott, what possible logical reason do you have for drilling a hole into the womens changing room?

McCoy: Wow, I heard they were changing the uniforms for season 3, but this sucks!

Charlie's "Pulling a little row of flags out of the arse" trick was the moment Kirk decided he must die.

Pike: I'll show you a big bald throbbing head you'll really like.

George prepares to receive a visit from Shatner.

 

[ncc71877]

I'm a winner! Thanks!

Kirk: "Did that yeoman just crop-dust me?"

Yeah I went there.

It reads, "OHHH MYYY!" that has a certain ring to it.

ncc71877

 

[jep]

Charlie: "It was... Sulu... he... he... put it back there!"



.

 

[jespah]

Jane? Susan? Mary? LaFawnduh?

Now ... let's ... change clothes.

I'm sorry, and I've done all I can, but the only stations I can get on this thing are contemporary Country-Western and Easy Listening.

But stranger, the lambada won't be invented for decades!

And when I came back from Space Aerobics, this part of me was really sore.

Oh, Steve, Q'fnuzah, you've met Chris, right?

Dammit, it's not long enough!

 

[Bob Karo]

McCoy's life as an early 20th century drug addict was not a pleasant one.

McCoy: Come on, man! I'll do whatever you want! Just five dollars! Come on, man! I'm dying out here!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, A.V.I.A.F!

Kirk (thinking): "My God, it's following her around the bridge like the eyes in a portrait painting! Man, that's freaky!"

Spock: "May we see you for a moment, Captain? We've been doing some background checking on the Dohlman."
McCoy: "Yes. Specifically, that 'where no man has gone before' claim."

Scotty: "Your degrees are in theoretical science, not applied science, right?"
Spock: "How did you know that?"
Scotty: "I asked you to bring me a 3/16" Allen wrench. This is a three-of-diamonds playing card."

Bum: "Look, pal, I dunno if you're goin' after my spare change or my johnson, but either way it's gonna cost ya a bottle of hootch!"

Charlie: "Hey, what's this yellow handkerchief hanging out of your hip pocket?"
Kirk: "Oh, that...um...I was just headed for the Officer's Club...Look, forget about the handkerchief! Let's get back the that Rand problem!"

Talosian: "Now, now, let's not get greedy, my dear! You don't really need a spare!"

 

[jep]

Kirk: "I got this."



.

 

[jep]

Pike: "You could at least let me join in... it IS my hallucination, ya know."

Kirk: "Sorry, no Ménagerie à trois."


.

 

[ncc71877]

McCoy: "If I were a rich man, Yubby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dum."

Keeper: "The female indicated that it required two males for mating."

ncc71877

 

[Maurice]

KIRK: Ungh. Ahhh.
CREWMAN: Shit. Cleaning crew to bridge station 3...again.

BONES: See, I warned you; space babes can't keep their hands off the new doubleknit tunic material.

SCOTT: "Try inverse phasing", my arse, Mr. Know-it-all!

BONES: My God, the human penis was huge in the past!
BUM: That's my flask, freak!

CHARLIE: And now... <sniff> everyone calls me Spanky!

PIKE 2: You get Number One, I get her. So long, sucker.

SULU: Why...it's the closest shave I've ever had!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Kirk (thinking to self): That smells like Ensign Karen Greene.

Kirk: Is it alright if I go bowling with the guys tonight?

When the idea of Excelsior films was turned down, George considered his options.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

*Door swooshes open*
Spock: "Ah, here he is, Doctor. 'Bolding going' again, just as I expected."

 

[MANT!]

Dammit Jim, Give it a rest, I've damn near run out of antibiotics!!

 

[jep]

*Door swooshes open*
Spock: "Ah, here he is, Doctor. 'Bolding going' again, just as I expected."

McCoy: "Well, he's not exactly going where no man has gone before, Spock... if ya'll know what I mean."


.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MCCOY: Sorry Jim, the ship's theater group has canceled plans to stage "The World of Suzie Wong".

 

[Isis]

Thanks for the "win," A.V.I.A.F., even though I'm not sure being the straight guy, or in my case the straight girl, really "counts."

Keeper: "Have a good time at the sock hop, kids. Don't keep her out too late, Chris."