TOS Caption Contest #247: Life Of Riley!

[A.V.I.A.F.]

Yes, it’s that time again! Here are:

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Dieter, vee luff you und your little monkey!....

Spock: Gentlemen, I must point out that now is not the time on Sprockets when we dance.

Cue Tubular Bells....

Kirk: "The power of Christ compels you!"
Spock: "That's a hypo-spray, Captain."

Sex-Ed, Vulcan-style....

SPOCK: Yes, Ensign, that is how the Captain makes little Captains. Steady as she goes.

Like this guy hasn’t got enough worries with the booze....

Spock: "... and then with the other nostril, you inhale the line through a straw or rolled paper currency, like so."

I smell copyright infringement....

McCoy: GET YOUR PAWS OFF ME, YOU DAMN DIRTY VULCAN!

.

Continuity is a bitch....

Spock: "My mind, to your mind... your mind, to my--"
** Mr. Spock abruptly stops the mind meld **
Spock: "Captain Tracey, why are you masquerading as Dr. Van Gelder?"
Tracey: "I don't know. I've just been feeling a little unstable lately."

Let us not forget the:

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redshirt steve visits a parallel universe... the 1970's!

WOODY: Hey pal, no cuts! I need the advantage!

Also, we have our:

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"Ohhhh, yeah. Now a little to the right. Thaaaat's it."

Guy On Left (thinking): I never get a neck rub...

We are pleased to present our very first:

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Kirk (to self): "Must be more careful in the future and stop assigning myself to these dangerous away missions."

SHATNER: Why, yes I am this Han Solo you speak of. Wanna come upstairs and see my falcon?

Congratulations to the winners! Thanks to all who entered. This round: Kevin Thomas Riley; plus Spock loses it on the battlefield! Have at it!
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[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win!

Sulu: "If you aim it off to the side like this, you won't get as much on your hands."
Riley: "We're talking about tetralubisol, right?"
Sulu: "Whatever."

Spock: "You're drunk!"
Riley: "You're sexy!"

Kirk: "Riley, shut off that Irish jig! And Barnhill, for God's sake, stop dancing!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

GI SPOCK: The Women!!!!!

 

[TMStepper]

Sulu: -creepy sounding voice- It puts the lotion on it's skin.....

Riley: "Would you stop doing that?"

Riley: "And you, sir..... YOU are a pickled plum!!!"
Spock: "And you... are confusing."

As the doors swung open, he swaggered into the saloon, all eyes on his chisled gunfighter's phyisque. Kevin T. Riley, the fastest draw this side of the Dilithium Converter.

Riley didn't know what was in that purple bottle, but whatever it was, it was goooooood............

Riley: "Heartburn....."
Kirk: "I told you not to eat the Andorian flarn."

Kirk: "I'm sorry, Riley. I know you wanted to have the big showdown with the bad guy. But that's my job. It's in my contract."
Riley: -sadly- "Yes, sir......"

Spock: "Yes, Captain. The transporter malfunction seems to have deposited me into a universe devoid of color. Fortunately I was able to rewire one of their communications devices and contact you...... As I said, devoid of color. I have yet to see any 'hot, green women'."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy (OS): "I'll be with you in a minute, Riley. As soon as I finish with Yeoman Rand's physical."
Riley: "No rush."

 

[milo bloom]

Riley was taking correspondence classes from the Milford school in not being noticed.

 

[Maurice]

SULU: I keep telling you, use water-based lube, and work your hand like this.

SPOCK: I get the point, Mr Riley.
RILEY: You have two points already, sir. Here's a third!

SPOCK: And Riley's astroturfed the turbolift...again.

RILEY: Peek a bee, I see me.

KIRK: Riley stop playing with your... oh, so that's were Yeoman Rand got to...

KIRK: Give it to me!
RILEY: Oh how I've longed to hear you say that, sir.

G.I. SPOCK: Attention all personnel. Due to circumstances beyond our control, lunch will be served today.

 

[huskers57]

Sulu shows Riley how it's done as it is obvious that Riley still needs some work on technique.

Riley singing: "You're the one that I want, the one that I want... ooh ooh ooh!!"

Riley experiences that awkward moment when the door opens and you have your hands in your pants...

Riley is half the man he used to be.

Singing: "Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on"

Kirk: "No, Riley... Russian Roulette should not be played with phasers!

I'm doing my Stanley Spudowski impersonation!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "Mr. Riley, everyone likes a little ass, but nobody likes a smart-ass!"
Riley: "That doesn't sound like something you'd come up with! Did Doctor McCoy give you that line?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

RILEY: Avada Kedavra! Crucio! Expelliarmus!

SPOCK: You need a wand dumbass!!!!

 

[Mr. Adventure]

SPOCK: All right, Riley, that's quite enough. I must insist you return my Body Snatchers DVD.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RILEY: Pull my finger!

 

[Gary7]

Thanks for the wins, AVIAF.

Sulu: "Need a little help scraping that stuff off, Kev?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

SULU: It's superglue. Turns out that Russian kid from third shift really wants your job.

 

[Gary7]

Kirk: "Uh, you don't have a second weapon there, Riley."

Riley: "Ah, lookie! You missed a few nose hairs again, Mr. Spock."

Riley (to intercomm): "Yeah, and that fat ego Captain of ours stole her from me, that S.O.B."
Sulu (VO): "Major bummer. Ohhhh... my! I forgot to tell you he's on his way to Engineering. Better keep an eye out."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Why white guys should never attempt the "Soul Shake"

 

[Nerys Myk]

RILEY:"You hear that, Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya, honey!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Riley took his clog dancing practice very seriously.

RILEY: Damn it, Chekov! Enough with the superglue! Take the damn job!!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

GI SPOCK: Yeah, everythings cool here. Just kicking back and catching some Zs. The enemy? No sign. Hang on I'm hearing some sort of high pitch whine. Might be interfe....

 

[TorontoTrekker]

"One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war..."