TOS Caption Contest #136: Creeps, Peeps, Beeps, and Sleeps

[scottydog]

Pike: "Beep Beep of Beep".

Kirk: "He said Leaning Tower of Pizza."

Spock: "Correct. And my next charade will be...."

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk: Worst Davros ever!

McGivers: If I marry then divorce you wouldn't that make me an ex-Khan?

 

[Shatmandu]

Rand: "He asked me to pull his finger. And when I did ..."
Kirk: "... I shit myself. I told you it isn't a medical issue."

Spock: "No, Captain, I don't think it would be a good sales idea to add a hotdog roller to his chair."
Kirk: "How about wi-fi?"

 

[Mysterion]

SPOCK: Damnit! I told them all I wanted a Gameboy! What do I get? A damned Kindle! Worst. Birthday. Ever.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Funny, I hear something banging around in there every time a yeoman walks by."

Spock: "The radiation didn't affect all of Captain Pike."

Pike: *BEEP*

 

[Triskelion]

Kirk: Spock, I happen to know Chris is a rabid Yankees fan.
Spock: Yup. A Yankees fan who rolled over the wrong foot.

Khan: Now imagine me putting a diamond necklace on your neck.
McGivers: And you imagine me putting out.

Kirk: I wonder what he's dreaming of?
McCoy: Probably algorithms.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kahn: *whispers*

Khan: "Baby, I am not from Havana!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Kirk, thinking: I wish I had a mobile old people walk-in bathtub like that.

Kirk: Which one of your nipple knobs changes the channel on the TV?

Kirk: I hope those are oil stains and not shit stains being left behind by that chair!

 

[SPOCKED]

Kirk: ..so then Ruth and I hopped in a shuttle for Risa..

fap

Kirk: did you hear that, Spock?

Spock: No, Jim.

fap

Kirk: there it is again. Anyway Spock, once we got there..

fap fap

we went immediately to the

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to the

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to the

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hotel

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where we got ourselves a nice drink

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at

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the

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bar

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Kirk: Chris, is that you making that sound?

Pike: ::beep::

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Is that an 8-Track?"

Spock: "The only thing left down there is his anus."
Kirk, leaning down to Pike's eye level: "Great. Can't fuck, but he can sure shit himself. What a fuckin' life."
Spock: "Captain, please ..."

 

[cooleddie74]

Love means never having to install a bigger mirror.

"Curious.

I appear to have been RickRolled."

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Damn shame one of those big-ass knobs doesn't control your B.O., Chris.

Whew. Get him OUTTA here, Spock. Fast!"

 

[Shatmandu]

McGivers: "Feh. I was hoping you'd give me a high hard one, not paint my toenails and gossip about famous people ..."

Spock, talking in sleep: "... unkempt pubic hair ... ooohhh ... handjob ... use both hands ..."

Spock, waking with a start and running out of room: "Fuck! I left Pike in the fuckin' elevator ..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Ask him if he's the one who's been doing donuts outside my door at 3 am."
Spock: "Captain, please ..."

 

[Triskelion]

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
What he say, Spock?
Captain, I would imagine he said he does not appreciate being referred to as "The Zamboni".

 

[Rat Boy]

McGivers: "Feh. I was hoping you'd give me a high hard one, not paint my toenails and gossip about famous people ..."

Khan: "I'm sorry, did you say 'high hard on?'"

*backs away slowly*

 

[M'Sharak]

"What do you mean, 'Not now,' Madlyn?"

"What do you mean, 'Not now,' Madeline?"

 

[NTRPRZ]

Pike: BEEP! BEEP!
Kirk: Spock, have you seen a roadrunner around here?

 

[Rulius]

Kirk in strangled voice: Get him off my foot....

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Wonder what vegetable we're having for lunch ... Oh, shit, sorry, dude ..."