TOS Caption Contest #136: Creeps, Peeps, Beeps, and Sleeps

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by Shatmandu, Aug 1, 2009.

  1. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    Hiya, folks.

    Not much time to dilly-dally at changeover time, so here are your winners:



    Very nice, you three. Quick and to the point.

    I noticed, too, that our own Rat Boy has won this contest an astonishing 40 times! That's a lot of dick-and-fart jokes, sir. Well played.

    And thanks again go out to EnsignHarper for the Finnegan suggestion and pic supply. Much appreciated.

    This week's jabs are:


    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]



    [​IMG]



    Have at it.

    Joe, quickly


    TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

    26138 (2x)
    A beaker full of death (4x)
    Adam Ihle (4x)
    AlphaTrionTJW
    Alrik
    Alyssa (3x)
    ancient
    Atavachron (2x)
    Bad Atom (2x)
    Battrekker
    brian
    Cakes488
    CaptainJon
    Captain Kate (2x)
    Classic Fan
    commodore64
    cooleddie74 (22x) [​IMG]
    cultcross
    DeafPoet
    Defcon (2x)
    Diesel Micky Dolenz (12x)
    Dohlman
    DrBob (11x) Big Winner!
    DS9Sega (7x)
    EliyahuQeoni (3x)
    EnsignHarper
    FishDS9
    galleywest (4x)
    Gary7 (2x)
    Gertch (25x) [​IMG]
    goldbug (2x)
    Guartho
    Haggis and Tatties
    Hambone (2x)
    highlander (12x)
    Jackson_Roykirk
    J. Allen (2x)
    jayrath
    Johnnyracefan
    John_Picard (4x)
    jptrekker
    Kahloke
    Kegek (2x)
    Kirby
    KJM
    Mallory (4x)
    MGagen
    middyseafort (7x) Big Winner!
    Mistral (2x)
    Mojochi
    M'Sharak (14x)
    NCC-1701 (7x)
    Nebusj
    Nerys Myk (30x) [​IMG]
    Noname Given (2x)
    NTRPRZ
    Outpost4 (16x) [​IMG]
    Quo Vadimus
    Rat Boy (40!x) [​IMG] Big Winner!
    Redfern
    SciFi75 (5x)
    scottydog (20x) [​IMG]
    Sector 7
    Shatmandu (25x) [​IMG]
    shivkala
    Sir Rhosis (2x)
    S'Kai
    Super Grover
    Tan Ru
    T'Bonz (8x)
    terranova
    Tharpdevenport (3x)
    the 4th hanson bro (4x)
    The Castellan
    The Cutest of Borg (2x)
    The Laughing Vulcan (18x) [​IMG]
    The Old Mixer
    The Squire of Gothos (11x)
    The Tone (2x)
    TigerOfDarkness (2x)
    Tim M (3x)
    Toban Kal
    Triskelion (13x) [​IMG]
    Tristan
    Turbo (2x)
    vassa
    Ward Fowler (4x)
    Woulfe (4x)
    Zachery Smith

    [​IMG] Mudd Club
     
  2. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    [​IMG]

    McGivers, sighing: "I always fall in love with gay men ..."




    [​IMG]

    McCoy: "Young lady, I didn't order the Captain's pipes cleaned until next week."


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Well, something smells like shit. It ain't me, and it ain't Spock ..."
    Pike: "Beep-beep. Beep-beep."
    Spock: "Jeez, stop picking on the poor bastard."



    [​IMG]

    Spock, sleeping: "... pussy ... blowjob ..."
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2009
  3. Deranged Nasat

    Deranged Nasat Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    "Yeah? You know what I think, Judge Pigshit? You're a pus-filled, crappy bag of hot wind and targ dung who couldn't preside over a game of tiddlywinks. Best of all, you can't understand a word of this, because it's all just beeping to you"

    "Actually we had a vocorder installed for this session, Mr. Pike"

    "Ah, crap".



    [​IMG]

    "...and what I'm trying to say Spock, when it gets right down to it, is- is there more to James T. Kirk than sexual harassment, hammy overacting and ripped shirts? Sure, the fans appreciate me, but that's different, they have to, they're fans. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore Spock, and I just know you'll listen attentively, and I really appreciate that..."
     
  4. Deranged Nasat

    Deranged Nasat Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    McGivers: "So, then I was saying to M'Ress, I says to her, "you'd better not be getting hairs over my console station, missy, or I'll be complaining to Mr. Spock". And she says, "well, that aint my problem is it, Marla?" And I says, "ooh, you're getting THIS close, missy", and then Spock came over and ooh was she in trouble, 'cause you remember Keyboard Cat, right? Turns out that was her cousin, and you remember last caption contest but two in the Movies forum when Spock was doing the computer thing and he got played off thrice..."

    Khan: "Mmm-hmmm? Hmmm".




    [​IMG]

    Crewmen detected.

    Crewman identified: McCoy.

    Status: Doctor. Irrelevant. Dismissed.

    Crewman identified: female.

    Status: available.

    Target acquired.

    "Why hello there, crewman. What can I do for you, today? Oh, you're dismissed, Bones".
     
  5. T'Boggan

    T'Boggan Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2009
    Location:
    Washington England
    [​IMG]

    Khan finally assembled his sex doll only to discover he it had better hair than he did.




    [​IMG]

    McCoy: Yeoman its you or me dear and frankly...I outrank you!



    [​IMG]

    Spock...I told you always keep his hands on the outside..



    [​IMG]

    "HI Sarek here, Im not in right now...please leave a message after the tone, unless you that shiftless half breed knob end of a son of mine in which case go f*$" yourself!
     
  6. TigerOfDarkness

    TigerOfDarkness Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2005
    Location:
    UK
    [​IMG]

    Khan: And then I'll introduce a Ceti Eel about here...
     
  7. M'Sharak

    M'Sharak Definitely Herbert. Maybe. Moderator

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2002
    Location:
    Terra Inlandia
    [​IMG]

    "Come in, Bones. The yeoman was just leaving... weren't you, Janice?"
    "Mhm-hmmmm."


    [​IMG]

    [Text message appears on PADD]
    "It may be possible to "obtain" further evidence, should such be required,
    and should adequate and appropriate compensation be forthcoming.

    -- Carl"
     
  8. 26138

    26138 Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2003
    [​IMG]

    Khan: That's a very interesting hair piece... I take it you got it from the same place that Kirk frequents?
     
  9. Rulius

    Rulius Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2006
    Location:
    N.E. Ga.
    [​IMG]

    LICE?
     
  10. Rulius

    Rulius Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2006
    Location:
    N.E. Ga.
    [​IMG]
    McCoy: Let's go you two, time for the inaugural co-ed naked jumping jacks..
     
  11. Rulius

    Rulius Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2006
    Location:
    N.E. Ga.
    [​IMG]

    Just sign it Spock. you'll love a time share on Altair 6
     
  12. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    Well, it seems only fitting that Joe gave me my first win and now my 40th.

    [​IMG]

    Khan: "Superior ability breeds superior fashion sense."

    [​IMG]

    Rand: "Why does he have to be here for my nude jumping jacks?"

    McCoy: "Protocol."

    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "I so wanted you to say 'I stand relieved,' but no, you chickened out."

    [​IMG]

    Nimoy: "Bill's been fiddling with the script again."
     
  13. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    [​IMG]

    Khan: "... so then I says to that bitch, I says, 'Bitch, I gots mine! You needs to gets yo' own!' and that bitch says ..."
    McGivers: "I've really got to go ..."




    [​IMG]

    Rand: "No, I don't know where his pants are."



    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Man, if my dick and balls and shit ever gets burned away like that, just friggin' kill me, okay?"
    Spock: "Captain, please ..."




    [​IMG]

    Spock didn't like writing the answers on his pantleg, but he had to get this promotion to have a chance of getting the fuck off the Enterprise.
     
  14. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Khan: "So, whatever happened with that whole OJ trial? Did they throw his ass in jail?"

    Marla: "Weeeeeeeeeell..."
     
  15. UssGlenn

    UssGlenn Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2003
    Location:
    New Orleans, LA
    [​IMG]

    McGivers: "Since when does removing 4 pins make this hairdo simple?"




    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Hold perfectly still, they're sculpting this year's Hallmark ornament from life."



    [​IMG]

    Spock: "Now watch as I make this table levitate."
     
  16. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    [​IMG]

    McGivers: I've never had a Spaniard - I mean, a Sikh before.
    Khan: Muy bien.

    [​IMG]

    Rand <whispering>: I'll come back tomorrow. This one never gets my braids the way I want.
    McCoy<whispering>: Me too. The inadvertent crotch-brushing when he clips my burns gives me the creeps.


    [​IMG]

    Kirk: One lump or two, Chris?
    Pike: Beeeeep.
    Kirk: Two lumps, please, barista.
    Spock: It's barrister, you couple of idiots.


    [​IMG]

    ...Outpost4...NO MUGATO!! NOOOO!!
     
  17. SeerSGB

    SeerSGB Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2003
    Location:
    RIP Leonard Nimoy
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: My God. What noble sacrifice he made for his crew...

    Spock: Jim, he just spilled a cup of McDonald's coffee in his lap.
     
  18. NTRPRZ

    NTRPRZ Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Location:
    Delaware
    [​IMG]

    Khan: A hickey?!?! KKKIIIIIIRRRRKKKK!!!!
     
  19. NTRPRZ

    NTRPRZ Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Location:
    Delaware
    [​IMG]

    Pike (thinking): Hee, hee! I'm not wearing any pants!!
     
  20. NTRPRZ

    NTRPRZ Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2006
    Location:
    Delaware
    [​IMG]
    Spock: I hate these damned soduku.