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TOS Caption Contest #108 - Movie Night!

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Thump!

Kirk: "What was that?"
Pike sheepishly: Beep.
Kirk: "Damn! At least your dick ain't paralyzed. And quite frankly, if you're hitting the inside of your chair, you don't have nothing to be depressed about. Mr Scott."
Scott: "Aye sir?"
Kirk: "See what you can do about letting Chris's chair out a couple of inches."
Pike: Beep.
Kirk: "Right, six inches, Damn!"
Scott: "Aye sir."
 
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HIGHLANDER: THE WARPING

There can be only ONE...captain with a bad toupee!
 
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Kirk: Do we have a red shirt who knows something about football and is looking for a change in careers?
 
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Spock: "Jim ... Edith Keeler must diet ..."

After putting Edith on the Jenny Craig program...
Guardian of Forever: "Edith has resumed her shape; all is as it was before. Many such journeys are possible. Let me be your dietitian."
 
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The crew started Friday night breakdancing as a way to break the boredom in Engineering...

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Then the officers turned it into dinner and a show.
 
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Kirk: "... just don't urinate in the alley outside Miss Keeler's window again."
Spock: "Do you think she suspects?"
Kirk: "Nah. I told her you caught your penis in a ricepicker."
Spock: "Ah."
 
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Mendez: "What's happened to this contest, Jim? Used to be we'd be the ones everyone's talking about. Now it's these clowns."
 
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Mendez: "What's happened to this contest, Jim? Used to be we'd be the ones everyone's talking about. Now it's these clowns."
Carl, from table on right: "I feel ya."
Foxy Cleopatra Uhura, taking Carl's penis from her mouth: "Yeahs."
 
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After Starfleet decides to let the Enterprise go to Talos IV, Pike tries to decide which illusion he'll want to use when he gets there.
 
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Spock: As you can see Mr. Davis is reacting to one of the many times the Oakland Raiders were able to grab defeat from the jaws of victory.
 
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Sorry Spock. I couldn't find any place called "KFC".

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Kirk: No whammies No whammies No whammies!
 
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Spock: "Captain, we have very little money; is it wise to spend so much on food products you merely intend to stuff into your underpants?"
Kirk: "I've ... got to get her attention ..."
 
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KIRK:"Was this from the mission where you impregnated that entire harem of Orion slave girls, Chris?"

PIKE:*Beeeeeep*

MENDEZ:"Braggart."
 
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"Dammit, Spock...help me with this!

If I can't convince Miss Keeler I'm hung like a palomino all of future Earth and Federation history will be permanently changed!!"
 
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