TOS Caption Contest #108 - Movie Night!
- Thread starter Outpost4
- Start date
"Oh, by the way...
Spock?
The green grocer down the street? Wanted me to tell you he thinks you have a nice shape and hiney. He said you'd know what that means."
Kirk: " Baby you can drive my car
Yes I'm gonna be a star
Baby you can drive my car
And maybe I'll love you"
Pike: Beep beep, beep beep
Kirk: "Yeah!"
McCoy: "Jeez Jim, everytime there is a Pike Caption contest, it's the same gags. That and the roadrunner. A little more imagination..."
Spock: "Repetition is one of the tenets of good comedy Doctor."
McCoy: "What would you know about comedy you green blooded..."
Pike: Beep!
to be continued
McCoy: "What would you know about comedy you green blooded..."
Pike: Beep!
Kirk: "What was that?"
Mendez: "Captain Pike is re-entering Starfleet active service as part of his rehabilition. From now on, he will be acting as official ship's censor."
McCoy: "No ___"
Pike: Beep
McCoy: "Well," Beep, "That's" Beep "___ing brilliant. It's about time that those mother___" Beep "__ers at Starfleet pulled their collective ___" Beep Beep " ___ heads out of their___ " Beep "___stained___" Beep "___ and did something positive, those___ "Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beeeeeeeeep.... bzzt frzzt pffft
smoke rises from chair
Mendez: "I can see this will take a rethink."
McCoy: "What happened?"
Spock: "It appears you blew his fuse Doctor"
McCoy: "Fuck"
Kirk: "I'm sorry I mistook your chair for a trash can Chris."
Pike: Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep
Kirk: "What did he say?"
Mendez: "He said that you're lucky that his neural linked duranium cyber suit, with built in Darth Vader voder is at the cleaners, or he'd punch your lights out, you staccato eyelinered bitch!"
<Pike's chair makes flushing sound.>
Stone, scooting seat closer to Kirk: "Aw, Jeez."
Spock: "Were you able to attain the ... recreational magazines ... I require for my computer work?"
Kirk: "No. Beastiality Today hasn't begun publishing yet."
<Pike opens front of chair, stands, stretches, and begins pulling off burn make-up.>
Commodore Stone: "Ah, c'mon, Chris! We had 'em!"
Pike: "Fuck it. I got a date. <turns> Spock, Happy Birthday! See you at the reunion! <walks out>"
Last edited:
Kirk: This mission of the Talosians was a lame attempt - oh sorry, Chris.
Mendez: Ahem. According to Mr Spock's log, Starships in the sector had been paralyzed under the 7th Directive - what? Oh, sorry Chris. Damn.
Kirk: I'll tell you this much, the way Spock was running things - sorry Chris - and me being manipulated by my first officer made me feel quite helpless. Sorry Chris. But that he had the nerve to pull the rug out from under me really got my shorts in a bunch. Sorry Chris. My whole command authority had just gone right down the toilet when the excrement hit the fan. Sorry Chris.
Chris: Beep Beep.
Kirk: You're welcome.
Thirty enemas a day Spock, just isn't healthy if you ask me. That enema machine doesn't even look safe.
But captain, I had to build the machine out of stone knives and bearskins.
Well I've got a couple of ideas how to solve your anal leakage problem....
Pike on screen: Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep
Kirk: "Is that really what happened Chris, are we actually seeing the past.
Pike in chair: "Why yes Jim, although quite exactly how is leaving me quite consternated."
Roddenberry: "What the hell!"
Director: "Ah, don't sweat it Gene, we'll fix it in post."
Spock: "Considering Dr. McCoy's ... appetites ... perhaps we should focus exclusively on interviewing local prostitutes."
Kirk: Or we could save our money and go straight to the Hepatitis clinic! Spock, you're a genius!
Spock: And you sir, are an idiot.
**We have a WINNER!** of the caption contest.
Kirk: "Does she honestly understand the words that are coming out of her mouth?"
McCoy: "It's any wonder these people made it out of the 21st Century."
Pike: "Beep."
PIKE:"*Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*"
KIRK:"You said it, Chris...look at the cans on that chick!"
KIRK:"We're out of mayonnaise."
SPOCK:"I have been observing you since our arrival. Shall I...make some?"
SPOCK:"We will never find the Doctor and get back to our own time if you insist on childish and immature sex games and jokes, Captain."
MENDEZ:"With velour shirts that tacky, it was a miracle Starfleet ever made it out of the 2250s."
SPOCK:"I distinctly asked you to get some hominy, Captain. Not a balo...
(*Sighs*)"
Pike's chair, to the tune of The Carpenters 'Close To You': "Beep-beep-beep ... beep-beep, beepbeepbeep ... beepbeepbeep ... beepbeepbeep. Beep-beep-beep, beepbeep beepbeep, beep-beep-beeeeeeep ..."
Spock: "Using our limited computer resources to consolidate your upskirt photos has cost us valuable time, Captain."
Spock: "Do you realize Captain, that they'll never stop these Caption Contests if you continue to produce phallic symbols?"
Is Chris Pine man enough to do it!!!?
Kirk: " Baby you can drive my car
Yes I'm gonna be a star
Baby you can drive my car
And maybe I'll love you"
Pike: Beep beep, beep beep
Kirk: "Yeah!"
McCoy: "Jeez Jim, everytime there is a Pike Caption contest, it's the same gags. That and the roadrunner. A little more imagination..."
Spock: "Repetition is one of the tenets of good comedy Doctor."
McCoy: "What would you know about comedy you green blooded..."
Pike: Beep!
to be continued
McCoy: "What would you know about comedy you green blooded..."
Pike: Beep!
Kirk: "What was that?"
Mendez: "Captain Pike is re-entering Starfleet active service as part of his rehabilition. From now on, he will be acting as official ship's censor."
McCoy: "No ___"
Pike: Beep
McCoy: "Well," Beep, "That's" Beep "___ing brilliant. It's about time that those mother___" Beep "__ers at Starfleet pulled their collective ___" Beep Beep " ___ heads out of their___ " Beep "___stained___" Beep "___ and did something positive, those___ "Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beeeeeeeeep.... bzzt frzzt pffft
smoke rises from chair
Mendez: "I can see this will take a rethink."
McCoy: "What happened?"
Spock: "It appears you blew his fuse Doctor"
McCoy: "Fuck"
Kirk: "I'm sorry I mistook your chair for a trash can Chris."
Pike: Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep
Kirk: "What did he say?"
Mendez: "He said that you're lucky that his neural linked duranium cyber suit, with built in Darth Vader voder is at the cleaners, or he'd punch your lights out, you staccato eyelinered bitch!"
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
OMFG Funny as Hell!
NathanielM
Similar threads
- Sticky
