What did the little peppermints get after passing a test?
They got an accomplish-mint.
They got an accomplish-mint.
The Current Joke Thread
- Thread starter Moviefan2k4
- Start date
In labor news: Longshoremen walked off the piers today.
Rescue operations are in progress.
Rescue operations are in progress.
Q: What is Cookie Monster's favorite classic rock band?
A: OREO Speedwagon
(I didn't think of this. I heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another...
)
Cheers,
-CM-
A: OREO Speedwagon
(I didn't think of this. I heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another...
)Cheers,
-CM-
Fred took his British cousin Harold to a college football game. Afterwards, Fred asked his cousin what he thought, to which Harold said, "Well, it was a lot rougher than European football, that's for sure. But I don't understand why they were fighting over such a small amount of money." Fred was confused and asked "What money?" Harold answered, "The crowd kept yelling 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'"
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I don't like milking cows — just can’t stand the smell of the dairy air.
Cheers,
-CM-
Cheers,
-CM-
Two boys are attending a wedding ceremony. After the bride and groom say "I do", one boy turns to his friend with this question - "How many wives do you think a man can have?" The second boy answers - "Weren't you paying attention? The answer is sixteen." The first is confused, so his friend explains: "Four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer."
Q: When does a joke officially become a ‘Dad Joke’?
A: When the punchline becomes apparent.
Cheers,
-CM-
A: When the punchline becomes apparent.
Cheers,
-CM-
Another version/answer:
A: When it’s full groan.
I’ll see myself out.
Cheers,
-CM-
A third answer:
When it becomes a part of pop culture.
When it becomes a part of pop culture.
Q: Why don’t crabs like to do household chores, even when asked nicely to do so?
A: They’re shellfish.
Cheers,
-CM-
A: They’re shellfish.
Cheers,
-CM-
Q: What’s a computer’s favorite drink?
A: A Screenshot!
Cheers,
-CM-
A: A Screenshot!
Cheers,
-CM-
A middle-school boy comes home after auditioning for the school play. His dad asks how he did. They boy replies, "Well, I didn't get the lead role, but I got the part of a man who's been married for 25 years." His dad puts a hand on his shoulder and says, "It's okay. Next time, you;ll get a speaking part."
A friend told me this one recently...
"A Christian woman is out driving, when she notices an odd license plate on the vehicle in front of her. It reads simply X0DUS35. Assuming it's a reference to Exodus 3:5, she looks it up at the next red light. Sure enough, the verse begins with this phrase - Do not come any closer."
That's pretty clever, if you ask me.
"A Christian woman is out driving, when she notices an odd license plate on the vehicle in front of her. It reads simply X0DUS35. Assuming it's a reference to Exodus 3:5, she looks it up at the next red light. Sure enough, the verse begins with this phrase - Do not come any closer."
That's pretty clever, if you ask me.
Q: Why is it not advisable to iron a four-leaf clover?
A: Best be careful and not press your luck!
Cheers,
-CM-
A: Best be careful and not press your luck!
Cheers,
-CM-
