Removing explicit content from ST shows?

[Locutus of Bored]

1. When you excise all the actual porn content (which the DVD menu actually lets you do, and it's pretty boring stuff anyway), the result is actually a pretty decent TNG episode idea. In a nutshell, the away team finds a capsule buried on an uninhabited planet containing the now-older Tasha Yar from the "Yesterday's Enterprise" war timeline in suspended animation. After the Enterprise-C went back in time to sacrifice itself against the Romulans at Narendra III, alt-Yar was captured by the Romulan admiral who would be Sela's father. But unlike how Sela said that her mother was executed, it turns out that was a lie and alt-Yar survived and escaped. Now reunited with her (sort-of) former crew, she and the rest of the characters adjust to each other. But then Tasha tries to take control of the ship, and it turns out that she's being controlled against her will by Sela, who is using her mother as a weapon to steal the Enterprise and return with it to Romulus as a prize. But the plan is foiled, Tasha dies again, and Picard does some final heavy contemplating in his ready room right before the scene where Beverly comes in and shags him rotten. Most of the porn actors who play the bridge crew are surprisingly good at looking and acting like the TNG crew. The guy that plays Data is phenomenally spot-on. The bridge set is good too for a porn movie, although it's obvious where corners needed to be cut.

Better than Nemesis.

 

[Captain_Nick]

Aw, this topic had so much promise

 

[WarpTenLizard]

you all made me do this.


merseefullll...

and quick!

Marry me.

 

[WarpTenLizard]

I saw that parody, and I came away with two observations (and I'm being professional here...):

1. When you excise all the actual porn content (which the DVD menu actually lets you do, and it's pretty boring stuff anyway), the result is actually a pretty decent TNG episode idea. In a nutshell, the away team finds a capsule buried on an uninhabited planet containing the now-older Tasha Yar from the "Yesterday's Enterprise" war timeline in suspended animation. After the Enterprise-C went back in time to sacrifice itself against the Romulans at Narendra III, alt-Yar was captured by the Romulan admiral who would be Sela's father. But unlike how Sela said that her mother was executed, it turns out that was a lie and alt-Yar survived and escaped. Now reunited with her (sort-of) former crew, she and the rest of the characters adjust to each other. But then Tasha tries to take control of the ship, and it turns out that she's being controlled against her will by Sela, who is using her mother as a weapon to steal the Enterprise and return with it to Romulus as a prize. But the plan is foiled, Tasha dies again, and Picard does some final heavy contemplating in his ready room right before the scene where Beverly comes in and shags him rotten. Most of the porn actors who play the bridge crew are surprisingly good at looking and acting like the TNG crew. The guy that plays Data is phenomenally spot-on. The bridge set is good too for a porn movie, although it's obvious where corners needed to be cut.

2. The models used for the Enterprise-D and Sela's warbird were off-the-shelf AMT model kits, but they looked professionally built and lit. However, for some reason they were both constructed to not look exactly like how they appeared in the show (apparently the 25% different rule was in effect, lol.) The Enterprise's saucer is placed further back on the neck than normal, making the ship shorter, and the entire upper hull of the warbird was removed (or never added in the first place.) But by far the weirdest change was to Picard's Stargazer model in his ready room. It's not the Stargazer at all, but an anachronistic model of the Enterprise-E with a way out of scale TOS Enterprise nacelle and pylon attached to the top of the ship. I guess it was meant to be phallic-looking, but it just looks stupid.

I've seen the trailer for that movie on YouTube, and was always confused as to why it was labeled a "porn parody" when it looked like a normal--and damn good--fan film. Now I'm totes checking it out.

 

[1001001]

Aw, this topic had so much promise

 

[Tim Thomason]

Picard does some final heavy contemplating in his ready room right before the scene where Beverly comes in and shags him rotten. Most of the porn actors who play the bridge crew are surprisingly good at looking and acting like the TNG crew. The guy that plays Data is phenomenally spot-on. The bridge set is good too for a porn movie, although it's obvious where corners needed to be cut.

The guy who played Picard (Giles Aston, but credited as Giles), is not involved in porn acting, but is a professional celebrity impersonator for Patrick Stewart characters (Professor X, Picard). They hired a double and used camera angles for the sex scene (and I think Picard had only one, the only scene in which Beverly shows up as well). This was definitely a fan film passion project for the director, masquerading as porn parody to get around copyright limitations.

Data's actor *is* a porn star (Xander Corvus) which makes his amazing acting skills all the more impressive. He's definitely better than all the rest, even Giles.

Of course, this is all in reference to "Star Trek: The Next Generation - A XXX Parody" by Sam Hain. "This Ain't Star Trek" and it's sequels (and all the much earlier Sex Trek franchises) are all just goofy porn parodies thar lack coherent plots and play into cliches.

 

[Weyoun 251]

The guy who played Picard (Giles Aston, but credited as Giles), is not involved in porn acting, but is a professional celebrity impersonator for Patrick Stewart characters (Professor X, Picard). They hired a double and used camera angles for the sex scene (and I think Picard had only one, the only scene in which Beverly shows up as well). This was definitely a fan film passion project for the director, masquerading as porn parody to get around copyright limitations.

Data's actor *is* a porn star (Xander Corvus) which makes his amazing acting skills all the more impressive. He's definitely better than all the rest, even Giles.

Of course, this is all in reference to "Star Trek: The Next Generation - A XXX Parody" by Sam Hain. "This Ain't Star Trek" and it's sequels (and all the much earlier Sex Trek franchises) are all just goofy porn parodies thar lack coherent plots and play into cliches.

Lack coherent plots? Play into clichés? Which episode of *insert Trek of your choice* are you talking about there?!

 

[Tim Thomason]

Lack coherent plots? Play into clichés? Which episode of *insert Trek of your choice* are you talking about there?!

I'm talking about the porn parodies. Outside of the one TNG porno, the few others I have seen don't seem to have a proper story structure and have a large focus on adult situations for some odd reason.

The early stuff might've been a little funnier, but in all cases (even the TNG version), once the sultry music kicks in, it gets pretty repetitive and doesn't advance the plot.

 

[Weyoun 251]

I'm talking about the porn parodies. Outside of the one TNG porno, the few others I have seen don't seem to have a proper story structure and have a large focus on adult situations for some odd reason.

The early stuff might've been a little funnier, but in all cases (even the TNG version), once the sultry music kicks in, it gets pretty repetitive and doesn't advance the plot.

I know dude - was just meant to be a lighthearted jab at the fact that one could describe some episodes of Trek the same way

 

[fireproof78]

I'm talking about the porn parodies. Outside of the one TNG porno, the few others I have seen don't seem to have a proper story structure and have a large focus on adult situations for some odd reason.

Weird.

 

[Dukhat]

The guy who played Picard (Giles Aston, but credited as Giles), is not involved in porn acting, but is a professional celebrity impersonator for Patrick Stewart characters (Professor X, Picard). They hired a double and used camera angles for the sex scene (and I think Picard had only one, the only scene in which Beverly shows up as well). This was definitely a fan film passion project for the director, masquerading as porn parody to get around copyright limitations.

Data's actor *is* a porn star (Xander Corvus) which makes his amazing acting skills all the more impressive. He's definitely better than all the rest, even Giles.

Of course, this is all in reference to "Star Trek: The Next Generation - A XXX Parody" by Sam Hain. "This Ain't Star Trek" and it's sequels (and all the much earlier Sex Trek franchises) are all just goofy porn parodies thar lack coherent plots and play into cliches.

Giles is a Patrick Stewart/Picard impersonator (which was why they hired him for this), but he’s not an actor, porn or otherwise, and he doesn’t quite sound like Patrick Stewart either. Still, he did his best.

 

[dupersuper]

Better than Nemesis.

Low bar...