Major League Baseball 2009

[Kira's Mom]

(into the mike)
This is Jerry Manual. I'm the manager. Jose Reyes is passed out on the floor, and we've lost the first basemen and center fielder, too. We're in terrible trouble. Over.

(Later on...)
There is no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of the game. By the way, is there anyone in the stands who knows how to hit a curveball?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Sir, this scoreboard keeps blinking out of sequence."

"I see..."

"What shall we do about it, sir?"

"Get it to blink IN sequence!"

(later)

"I pulled Manny Ramirez' record."

"And?"

"I don't think you're gonna like it..."

(Manny Ramirez' 400 Polka Favorites)

 

[Chekov's Phaser]

Ah, Airplane and Baseball. Two of the greatest things on the face of the earth!

It looks like some of the Red Sox have drinking problems...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Excuse me, sir, we're with the Church of Baseball Consciousness. Would you like to make a donation?"

 

[Kira's Mom]

This just in- the Nationals suck.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

Since we're taking a minute break from Airplane references, I'll just say that one of the most random marketing strategies I've seen in awhile come courtesy of the Phillies and the Tigers (two teams that, uh, don't have much in common). Apparently the deal is that if Tigers fans vote for Shane Victorino, Phillies fans are supposed to vote for Brandon Inge. They're calling this campaign "bran-torino" after, well, that's kinda obvious.

Actually, while I don't have an Airplane-related baseball quote, I'll throw in a baseball-related Airplane quote for good measure.

I've got to concentrate...concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...

 

[tomalak301]

I heard something last night that the Rangers and Giants fans are doing the same thing. Giants fans vote for Kinsler and Panda and so do the Ranger fans, and it was started through twitter. This is crazy voting.

 

[mimic]

Sandoval went 1 for 4 tonight (single), with a throwing error.

Victorino was 2 for 4 (both singles) with a run, an RBI, a walk, and two stolen bases.

 

[Tim]

Nice to see the sleeping Boston offense perk up a bit. But really, no help from the Twins to keep those Yanks at bay? Last I checked, Minnesota was being systematically dismantled.

I'll be going to the Twins/Yankees game tonight. Hopefully, the Twins will help you out this time. I'd hate to sit through another game like last night's drubbing after paying $500 for cheap seat tickets (got them at a charity auction, so I way overpaid for them).

A bit more life from Minnesota, but still not enough. However, the Sox retain their lead in the AL East behind Wake's 11th win (yay!) and Papi's 4 RBIs (including a three-run jack). I think Wake's having the best season of his career thus far.

 

[SmoothieX]

^And his career stretches back to the Nixon era it feels like.

"Excuse me, sir, we're with the Church of Baseball Consciousness. Would you like to make a donation?"

No thanks, we gave at the office.

 

[Pegaritaville]

Despite the loss, I had a good time at the Twins game last night. Our seats were even worse than I imagined- at the start, every time I tried to look down I got a bit of vertigo (the boat trip earlier in the day probably didn't help). Never did see a beer vendor, which is a sure sign you're in the cheap seats. I'm glad that was my last baseball game at the Metrodome- bring on Target Field!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"What is it, Joe Torre? What's going on?"
"I'm not sure...I haven't seen anything like this since the Anita Bryant concert. What was it we had in the concession stands tonight?"
"Well, we had a choice, burgers or hot dogs."
"Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna."

 

[SmoothieX]

The best way I can sum up being a Mets fan in September the last couple years:

It starts with a slight fever. Then a dryness in the throat. As the bullpen penetrates the red blood cells the fan becomes dizzy and begins to experience a rash and itching. From there the lack of 2 out hitting works its way into the central nervous system causing severe muscle spasms, followed by the inevitable drooling. At this point, the entire digestive system is rendered useless, causing the complete collapse of the lower bowels, accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence...until finally the poor bastard is reduced to watching the Phillies in October again.

 

[Kira's Mom]

The best way I can sum up being a Mets fan in September the last couple years:

It starts with a slight fever. Then a dryness in the throat. As the bullpen penetrates the red blood cells the fan becomes dizzy and begins to experience a rash and itching. From there the lack of 2 out hitting works its way into the central nervous system causing severe muscle spasms, followed by the inevitable drooling. At this point, the entire digestive system is rendered useless, causing the complete collapse of the lower bowels, accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence...until finally the poor bastard is reduced to watching the Phillies in October again.

Then we need to get you to a hospital! "A hospital? What is it?" A building with sick people in it. But that's not important right now...

That does sum up being a Mets fan. *coughs, scratches, passes out*

 

[mimic]

Shane Victorino and Brandon Inge got the last few spots.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

PA voice: "Mr. Manuel, white courtesy phone please, Mr. Charlie Manuel."

Manuel (looking up and yelling): "I'VE GOT IT!"

PA voice: "Thank you."

 

[Commander Vaughn]

So Victorino and Inge get the last two spots.

I spent my time voting for Inge and Victornio. A coincidence? I think not.

 

[tomalak301]

Well, I voted for Sandoval, and all I can say is oh well. We tried, and it was a close race. Victorino is very deserving and maybe the Panda can go anyway because of Beltran being out.

 

[mimic]

From some of the posts on the ESPN/MLB boards you would think Shane was a baby killer or somesuch. It makes me very thankful for this particular forum.

Shane's had quite a week (walk and 2 RBI's already tonight, although he probably should have scored a run in the first but hesitated on a fly ball) so I know that helped him win. But honestly I'd have been fine wtih any of the guys making it. Hopefully Manuel does pick Sandoval to replace Beltran, although rumors have started that he might take Werth.

Utley had an in the park HR tonight - pretty cool.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

mimic, do you think the Phils should sign Pedro Martinez? Word is they're interested.