Agreed. The pitfall of being in a shared universe, where the movies taken precedence. It makes no sense for the show to maintain Coulson's dead status to the The Avengers. Allies connected to several are aware-and have known for some time, that Phil's alive. Sif knows, so why keep Thor in the dark...Maria Hill now works for Stark, so why can't Tony be told? Too many SHIELD agents know...It's the second worst kept secret ever. But he 'died' in the movie, so it can't be overridden by the series.
I'm half expecting in Avengers 2, that he'll walk thru the door, and the team doesn't blink...because they figured it out already, and he'll go "awww nutz!"
I may have misinterpreted, but the end of Thor 2 seems to suggest Thor has left Asgard and is living on Earth with Jane (presumably under the old Donald Blake identity from the comics.)
Having said that, it seems at odds with Sif's appearance as you'd think she'd mention that he was already on Midgard, or at least no longer living at home.
As for the rest...yes Romanov, Rogers and Barton were in SHIELD, but it's been very well established how compartmentalised Fury kept things. Any agent who knew Coulson was still alive, wouldn't volunteer that information to another agent who didn't already know unless specifically authorised to do so (unless they're both really Hydra double-agents of course.) It's pretty fundamental to any intelligence operative's training.
As for right now, Cap is himself off the grid so he's in no position to find out unless Coulson shows up on CNN. Romanov appears to be very much in the public eye along with Hill (perhaps now also working with Stark?) so it's conceivable she'll find out before long depending on how tight lipped Hill decides to be.
Barton...well AFAIK we know nothing about his actions or whereabouts since the end of Avengers, so it's hard to say. Going by Selvig's condition in Thor 2, it's possible he also suffered some long term effects of the staff and so has been out of action ever since. Indeed, his absence in TWS felt rather conspicuous. I mean they didn't even give him a throwaway line like
"Barton's still in a coma" or
"still on that deep cover assignment".
But yeah, Stark not knowing for much longer seems to stretch credibility a bit, especially given the data dump and his having access to quite possible more raw processing power than any other single person on earth. Plus JARVIS.
Presumably Banner is still at Avengers Tower in New York, so in that regard what Stark knows, he probably knows as and when.
So regarding Tahiti, Coulson was in charge. But then resigned. And then died. And then was brought back by Tahiti. On someone's orders other than Fury's.
Do I have that right? So the question is, who gave the order to revive Coulson?
My read on it is that Fury ordered the procedure, but it was Coulson's standing recommendation that dictated the use of false memory implants and mind-wipes.
Personally, I'm curious as to who else they were trying this on. Did any of them survive? Were the psychotics ones put down or taken to the fridge?
Speaking of the fridge; is that where Blonsky's cryocell was kept? I mean where else would they put him? I think it's fair to say he has to be pretty high on Garrett's shopping list.