Star Trek XI Caption Contest #9: The Romance is Gone

[Rat Boy]

Quit beating yourselves up, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's awkwardly wave our swords around...

For referencing something other than FlashForward or Harold & Kumar (or Kal Penn ditching John Cho to go work at the White House), our winner is...

SULU: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit Rigellian methamphetamines...

For noticing an unusual set decoration, our dual winners are...

"Spock, why do we have rocket nozzles above our heads?"

Kirk: "Did you hear that? On the loudspeaker? What does 'T minus ten seconds' mean? Why are these big nozzles above us beginning to glow? Are we fucked here?"

And for our Photoshop award, the duel winner is...

SULU: Crap! This never ends well for the guy with the sword.

Congrats to our winners. This week, we have Uhura wondering if now was the time to tell Spock she was interested in seeing other people and Nero telling Pike of the time his wife's father was murdered by her ex-boyfriend's boss. Have at:

 

[Rat Boy]

She was always a sucker for a guy in blue.

Nero: "I watched my wife die!"

Pike: "Look, I know this little place in Nevada just outside of Vegas. You'll forget she even existed."

 

[cooleddie74]

UHURA: I'm such a lucky girl...

SPOCK: And so am I.

PIKE: Hot wife. Mind if I pay her a vi...


OOOOOOH.

Sorry. My bad.

 

[cooleddie74]

NERO: This was MY wife. She's dead now...thanks to your precious FEDERATION!!!

PIKE: Sorry to hear...she looks like she'd be a wildcat in the sack.

NERO: Guess AGAIN. But she could cook, and that's all that mattered!!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Uhura: Jim?! You're leaving me for that cheating sonuvabitch! You green-blooded hobgoblin!

Pike: How'd you know I was into pregger porn?

 

[Nerys Myk]

UHURA: I'm sorry Spock, you know my first name and now I have to kill you.

PIKE: Who's the hottie?

NERO: Not helping your case here.

 

[T'Girl]

UHURA: I'm sorry Spock, you know my first name and now I have to kill you.

Uhura suddenly twists Spock head 180 degrees.

Uhura (sniff) "I'm going to miss his bifurcated penis."

Nero: "I've strapped you to this table Chris."
Pike: "Oh yes, oh yes."
Nero: "Applied electrodes"
Pike: "Oh yes, oh yes."
Nero: "Branded my name into your flesh."
Pike: "Oh yes, oh yes."
Nero: "Drove these needles into your penis."
Pike: "Oh yes, oh yes."
Nero: "I get the feeling we're not on the same page here Chris."

 

[UssGlenn]

PIKE: Is Padme alright?

NERO: I'm afraid in your anger you killed her

PIKE: Nooooooooooooooooooo!

 

[Rat Boy]

PIKE: Is Padme alright?

NERO: I'm afraid in your anger you killed her

PIKE: Nooooooooooooooooooo!

Nero: "But that complete rip-off of her, Duchess So-and-So, is still alive. Maybe you've got a shot with her."

 

[LeadHead]

Uhura: I love you Spock!

Spock: Oooooooo. Awkward.

Nero: Mail order bride. Smaller than advertised.

 

[Rat Boy]

Uhura: "So, buttcheeks squeezing and beating off for old time's sake?"

Nero: "You staring at my dead wife's tits?"

Pike: "Uh, no, of course not."

Nero: "You saying my wife's not beautiful?"

Pike: "I should've sent Spock to do this."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIFFRAFF: Hmph, Fran N Furter's standards sure have dropped.

 

[KobayashiMaru13]

Uhura: Spock... How could you leave me for JIM KIRK??

Pike: Wait, that was YOUR wife?? But she said she was... Oh... oh god...!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Nero: I show you a video of my beloved yet dead wife and you get excited?!?!?! It.... moved?????

Pike: No! No, you're wrong! You're wrong!! It... It didn't happen!!!

Nero: It has happened! I watched it happen!! I saw it happen. Don't tell me it didn't happen!!!

Pike: Oh shit, just kill me and get it over with!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Nero: To put food on the table for my wife and child-to-be, I kidnapped humans and probed them anally...you know what I found?!
Pike: Um, my ass is a bit sore so could we--
Nero: That one in ten don't really seem to mind! One in ten!

With apologies to the comedic greats, The Kids in the Hall.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Uhura: What do you need? What do you need??

Spock: The essence of my culture has been saved in the elders who now reside on this ship. I estimate no more than 10,000 have survived. I am now a member of an endangered species...... wait.... Do your earrings change color??

 

[Nerys Myk]

Uhura: What do you need? What do you need??

Spock: Hot dirty turbolift sex.

 

[LeadHead]

Uhura: What do you need? What do you need??

Spock: For you to stop running up my Credit Cards.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Uhura: "A threesome? Gosh, I never really thought about it before! Who is this T'Pring, anyway?"

Nero: "Do I have any 'racier' shots of her? Oh, you are just asking for it, asshole!"

 

[LeadHead]

Uhura: Would you teach me the Vulcan Neck Pinch?

Spock: Not until you find another guinea pig.

Nero: This is my wife.

Pike: Does that make her The Time Travelers Wife?

Nero: You are Really pushing it!