Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headache.

[Yeoman Randi]

Greetings fellow Voyagers! We've inched our way a little bit closer to the Alpha Quadrant and that means it's time to beam up DA WINNAS!

Look at the expression on that baby's face.....you just KNOW he is saying this!

BABY: You do something different with your hair?

This caption was 100 times more epic than the episode itself:

Janeway knew she'd been stuck on Voyager too long when she was able to see Harry's imaginary friend.

Damn his ethics~what an episode this could have made:

Tuvok: "My mind to your minds. My thoughts to your thoughts. Captain Janeway's fondness for holodeck sexual hijinks to 7 of 9's mind... No, no, that's unethical. I shouldn't do that."

Winning the Time Warp Award we have:

When the Voyager crew got bored, they re-enacted The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Paris and B'Elanna made a great Brad and Janet, but Janeway's Dr. Frank-N-Furter left a bit to be desired.

Proof that the Starfleet Database is far superior to any other we have:

Doctor: I know you're a Hirogen Alpha, but perhaps you should first consult the medical database. We have extensive records regarding how a handjob is done.

And this week the morning cawfee spew award goes to this entry along with the bill for a new monitor:

Tuvok: Fascinating. I expected between the two of you we'd have one complete mind.

Congratulations to the winners and thanks to everyone who played! Red alert: YOU ALL ROCK!

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And now without further ado, i offer the following screen caps just waiting to be diddled. Just be sure not to wear your good clothes:

And this week I'm going to throw in an extra cap which just begs to be 'shopped:

As usual, i will let this brew for two weeks. Until then, have fun, set a course for home and .....engage!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

TORRES: You humans are into a lot of kinky stuff.

NEELIX: You humans are into a lot of kinky stuff.

ALIEN: You humans are into a lot of kinky stuff.

EMH: You humans are into a lot of kinky stuff.

GIRL (disappointed) I thought you humans were into a lot of kinky stuff.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

B'Elanna: Well, sir, the Kazons called Captain Janeway a tin-plated, overbearing, swaggering dominatrix with delusions of godhood.

Chakotay: After they said all this, that's when you hit them?

B'Elanna: No, sir. You told us to avoid trouble! And I didn't see that it was worth fighting about.

Chakotay: What was it they said that started the fight?

B'Elanna: They called the Voyager a garbage scow, sir.

Chakotay: I see. And that's when you hit the Kazons?

B'Elanna: Yes, sir.

Chakotay: And the mud?

B'Elanna: The mud pit was just handy, sir. Apparently, it's the center of attraction in the local space bars.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Thanks for the win, Yeoman Randi!

Torres: "Well, I learned something very valuable today: Never spit into the anti-matter stream."

Neelix: "You'll have to be patient with me, Seven, I'm a novice at this. We Talaxians don't generally give much thought to skin blemishes."

Janeway (OS): "Did one of you steal my Kung Pao chicken? Ooooh, yes, I think one of you did!"

 

[LeadHead]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Thanks for the win, but I'm not buying you a new monitor.

Chakotay: Oh, that reminds me Captain, Neelix said the Prunes are coming in beautifully.

Neelix: Just a little more. There! Now you only have 2nd Degree burns. Sorry your insurance doesn't cover complete healing.

Doctor: (thinking) It's a good thing holograms are weightless, or this elevator would be above maximum capacity.

Paris: Doc, we played 3 whole games of hockey.

Doctor: And?

Paris: It's still the most boring sport ever!

Kim: Why does your breath smell like Worf?

Captains Log, We took a wrong turn in the Devron System.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Chakotay: "You know, Klingons really shouldn't light their farts."

B'Elanna: "A little late with the safety tip there, laughing boy."

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Working at Madame Tussaud's allowed Neelix the ultimate last laugh.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Torres: I realize the Maquis are into self-reliance, but the next time Voyager needs its oil changed, I'm pulling rank and sending a few ensigns to do it. That's all I'm saying.

It was sporting of Neelix to tend to Seven's wounds after her vicious headbutts defeated Kes in the Voyager Blonde-Off.

 

[Mistral]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Chakotay: "Did you do something different with your hair?"

 

[LeadHead]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Chakotay: I guess that Tom didn't explain to you how mud wrestling worked, did he?

 

[Finn]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

About two weeks before the events of The Caretaker....

Libby: Do you really have to go?

Harry: Yeah! My academic advisor from the academy said I'd get promoted faster under Janeway. I don't want to spend more than two years as an Ensign.

Libby: Oh, alright. I'll miss you!

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Chellick: To gain entry to the next, biomedically cleaner level, you will have to shove a suppository up your ass.

EMH: I must remember to speak with Lieutenant Torres about whether I actually need to experience this sort of physical discomfort.

 

[Schistocerca]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Chakotay: I think you should cut back on the spray tan. It is starting to look a little artificial.

 

[Bob Karo]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Janeway (os): So, I understand the repairs to the Malon ship were a little more difficult than expected.

Chakotay: I wouldn't say they were that bad.

B'Elanna: BOTH OF YOU CAN GO TO HELL!!!

 

[Candlelight]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Janeway (OS): "We managed to get away successfully. Which one of you climbed into that oil tank to rescue the dilithium resequencer anyway?"

Everyone was amazed at how skillfully Neelix removed Seven's pimples.

"It's a good thing you're a hologram. That one would probably melt your uniform."

Doctor: "Going somewhere, gentlemen?"

Paris: "We, er... we're going to check and see if B'Elanna needs any help in engineering."

Kim: "Yeah, definitely not going anywhere near holodeck 2 or anything."

Doctor: "Good, carry on."

Kim: "So... have you ever tried a Cleveland Steamer?"

"What was that last transmission?"
"I dunno, something about Seven mooning us"

 

[Schistocerca]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Although every morning she awoke with crippling back ache, at least by sleeping this way she always knew where his hands were!

 

[Captain Crow]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Chakotay: You look and smell like shit.

B'Elanna: That's because I was standing right next to the septic tank when it blew.

 

[Isis]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

Viewers knew this was a Mirror Universe episode even before the dialogue started.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

EMH: "Back from your Doucheball game, I see."

 

[Schistocerca]

Re: Voyager Caption Contest #50: Not tonight dear.... i have a headach

EMH: Boys, when the Delaney twins asked you to make sure to bring protection to wear on your double date, I have the feeling you may have mistaken their intentions!