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VFWCC#9 - Why so captions?!

And the winner is:
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Even with all her Starfleet training, Captain Janeway still couldn't master the moving thumb magic trick.

26138, you winthe Woimy Squoimy Prize for Voyager Excellence for this week:
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Thanks!
 
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Seven: "My injuries are severe, but the doctor assures me his vigorous breast massages will have me back on duty in no time."
 
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Seven: "My injuries are severe, but the doctor assures me his vigorous breast massages will have me back on duty in no time."
EMH: We will have to work in shifts for maximum effectiveness. I can make schedule.

TUVOK: As a Vulcan I require less sleep, so I shall take the first ten shifts.
 
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Janeway: Seven, were you trying to kill yourself?
Seven: I was trying to swim, but I just kept floating face up.
Tuvok and Doc: Two good reasons!
 
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Seven: "We were ... in my quarters. When Chakotay found out the Borg had replaced my vagina with a microwave emitter, he became very angry ..."
 
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Mulgrew: "Try and remember Seven, was it the Slimelian Ambassador who... aww crap. This is getting annoying. Must you always stick the camera where you get Jeri's boobs in the frame?"

Bob the Cameraman: "Um... yeah. It's in my contract. I get fired if the 'ratings mounds' aren't on display in every shot."

Picardo: "Life's a bitch, huh Bob?"

Bob the Cameraman: "Tell me about it. I'm gay. This does nothing for me... Now Beltran's tight wooden ass..."
 
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Director: "CUT! Okay Jeri, nice with the acting and all, emotions and stuff, but it's beginning to draw attention away from your breasts. Tone it down next take. Okay, five minutes people..."

Mulgrew: "First female Captain they said. It's Star Trek they said, a forward looking, progressive show they said, and it's all about the dumb blonde in the catsuit... no offense."

Ryan: "Hey, lying right here!"

Russ: "We ought to do something, say something, make a stand. I mean look, if Beltran gets away with badmouthing the show, we could say something constructive, get the show back to its creative roots."

Picardo: "Bad idea man, Beltran's a special case. He's untouchable. He was in Lone Wolf McQuade."

Ryan: "What's that got to do with anything, it's not like he's Shatner himself?"

Picardo: "He knows Chuck Norris. If you know Chuck Norris, then even God's gonna think twice about messing with you."

Russ: "I wish I knew Chuck Norris..."
Mulgrew: "I wish I knew Chuck Norris..."
Ryan: "I wish my breasts knew Chuck Norris..."

Director: "'kay. Back to work people..."
 
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Janeway: Now that Seven is unconscious, can we discuss boob transplants Doctor?
EMH: Certainly, but why is Tuvok present?
Janeway: He's to be the recipient.
 
Janeway: Seven we have some good news, and some bad news. First the bad news. We had to upgrade your inplants to Windows Vista SP2. The good news is.......I'm sorry I lied there is no good news.
^^:guffaw:


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Seven: Pregnant? I can't be pregnant! That is not how the Borg have babies. I know nothing about being a mother!

Janeway: Nobody does, yet everybody has babies. When the time comes, you will know.
(thinking): Bitch! Why her and not me?

Doctor: I have a slight concerm about your nanites. They may be transmitted to the child via the umbilical cord. We don't want it to grow too fast... (etc., etc.)

Tuvok (thinking): Why do I always have to stand through these displays?
*sigh* Back to being the only logical person in charge.
 
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Director: "CUT! Okay Jeri, nice with the acting and all, emotions and stuff, but it's beginning to draw attention away from your breasts. Tone it down next take. Okay, five minutes people..."

Mulgrew: "First female Captain they said. It's Star Trek they said, a forward looking, progressive show they said, and it's all about the dumb blonde in the catsuit... no offense."

Ryan: "Hey, lying right here!"

Russ: "We ought to do something, say something, make a stand. I mean look, if Beltran gets away with badmouthing the show, we could say something constructive, get the show back to its creative roots."

Picardo: "Bad idea man, Beltran's a special case. He's untouchable. He was in Lone Wolf McQuade."

Ryan: "What's that got to do with anything, it's not like he's Shatner himself?"

Picardo: "He knows Chuck Norris. If you know Chuck Norris, then even God's gonna think twice about messing with you."

Russ: "I wish I knew Chuck Norris..."
Mulgrew: "I wish I knew Chuck Norris..."
Ryan: "I wish my breasts knew Chuck Norris..."

Director: "'kay. Back to work people..."

Oh my gosh I laughed so hard reading this... this HAS to win...

I'm not even going to enter this week - there are too many brilliant ones already! "I wish my breasts knew Chuck Norris...." HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
 
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SEVEN: Is that?

JANEWAY: Yes it's one of your breast implants

TUVOK: The anti-grav unit is what kept them firm and up right.
 
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Tuvok: "I do not know why, but I have a sudden craving for giant Ktarian eggs."

-- or --

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Janeway: "And you're sure the callus was not between them before you were sedated?"
<The Doctor shifts from one foot to the other.>
 
First of all that is from the "Infinite Regress" episode.

Seven - the Borg drone doesn't seem to be compatible with the hologram.
Dr looking shifty - I have you know that I am as normal functioning as you are seven
Tuvok - Naturally, logic dictates that seven is the most human out her and the Dr
Janeway - she has bigger breasts than me BITCH!
Dr and Tuvok - errrrrr, we didn't see that as it is not within our sexual desires to persue seven as logic dictates that I am married and well (looks at the Dr with mouth open) the Dr is otherwise "taken"
 
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Janeway: Seven, what can you tell me about the one who attacked you?
Seven: He kept licking my ears.
Doctor: Illogical.
Tuvok: Indeed.
 
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I don't know about you, but I'm beginning to think they're not trying any more in these Where's Tuvok? competitions.
 
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