TOS Temporary Caption Contest #1: Look, Don't Touch

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by Shatmandu, May 18, 2009.

  1. Nebusj

    Nebusj Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2005
    [​IMG]

    ``Is ... is that a girl?''
    ``That's a girl.''
    ``Are those ... boots?''
    ``Those are boots.''
    ``Is that ... nail polish?''
    ``That's nail polish.''
    ``Is that a hair scrunchie?''
    ``[ Sigh ] This is gonna take a while.''

    [​IMG]

    Uhura's great crack about Kirk's hairpiece is suppressed when she realizes her own hair has moved about three inches too far forward.
     
  2. Trekker4747

    Trekker4747 Boldly going... Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2001
    Location:
    Trekker4747
    [​IMG]

    Rand: "It gets bigger, right?"
    Charlie: "Huh. I think *I'm* bigger than that."


    [​IMG]

    Spock [thinking] "Great, the captain has wandered onto the bridge naked again."
    Uhura "Gee. Charlie was right."
     
  3. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Cartoon Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Vasquez Rocks, Bajor
    [​IMG]
    CHARLIE: N-n-n-no pants?
     
  4. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Damn Charlie! Feet? It's only been a few minutes. It took me three years to develop my first fetish."
    Charlie: "Are there any bananas on board ship?"


    [​IMG]

    Spock: "Why yes Captain, I shagged her. I shagged her rotten. How can you tell?"
     
  5. Diesel Micky Dolenz

    Diesel Micky Dolenz Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2002
    Location:
    Florida, USA
    [​IMG]

    Rand: "Captain, young Charlie here won't stop staring at my boobs.... Captain?"
    Kirk: "Hmmm? What? Were you saying something, yeoman?"


    [​IMG]

    Having Dr. McCoy perform his physicals at each crewman's duty station seemed like a good time-saver, until he got to the nude jumping jacks.
     
  6. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    [​IMG]

    Rand: Thanks for carrying my shopping, Charlie. Can you hold my tricorder a sec -
    Kirk: See Charlie? This is the line between man and eunuch.
    Charlie: It's a catch 22. If I comply I'll ingratiate myself to her; but will have nothing left of my manhood with which to pitch woo.
    Kirk: Oh, Charlie. You stepped over it already. No means no, Rand!


    [​IMG]

    Spock: I did not understand that last caption.
    Uhura: Should I get the wet noodles Mr Spock?
    Spock: Proceed.
     
  7. Diesel Micky Dolenz

    Diesel Micky Dolenz Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2002
    Location:
    Florida, USA
    [​IMG]

    Spock: "Yeoman Rand, new piercings or not, regulations do not permit you to 'air these puppies out.'"
     
  8. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    [​IMG]

    Charlie: "My entertainment tapes were from something called BET."
    Kirk: "I see ..."
    Charlie: "Where's this bitch's vajayjay, mutha-fukka?"




    [​IMG]

    Uhura: "My hairstyle?"
    Spock: "It's called 'Twenty Minutes in a Restroom Stall.'"
     
  9. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

    [​IMG]

    Spock: "Is it too much to ask for me to let her go down on me with a little peace and quiet?"

    [​IMG]

    Charlie: "Is...that a girl?"

    Kirk: "I know, hard to tell from this angle, isn't it?"
     
  10. Michael

    Michael [ˈmɪçaːʔeːl] Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2007
    Location:
    Aloha Quadrant
    [​IMG]

    Charlie [thinking]: Must ... hide ... stiffy!
     
  11. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    [​IMG]

    Charlie: "Is that a..."
    Kirk: "Yes, Charlie, Yeoman Rand is a girl."
    Charlie: "Are those..."
    Kirk: "Yes Charlie, those are legs..."
    Charlie: "Are those..."
    Kirk: "Yes, Charlie, those are breasts. Remember what we talked about. Look, but don't nuzzle..."
    Charlie: "Is that a..."
    Kirk: "Yes, Charlie, that's a penis. Yeoman Rand is special."
     
  12. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Charlie: "She has six toes!"

    Kirk: "By God, you're right! I've never really looked that far down before."
     
  13. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    Kirk: "Hmm, that explains how a blonde could count to 21."
     
  14. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    [​IMG]
    Kirk: "Well, Charlie, I suppose it depends on what you've got in the bag ..."





    [​IMG]

    Uhura: "There ... were ... two ..."
    Spock: "Who's the double-dicked trick who's a hit with all the chicks?"
     
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Cartoon Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Vasquez Rocks, Bajor
    [​IMG]
    KIRK: What's in the bag?

    CHARLIE: A few keep sakes from the Antares.

    RAND: Do you smell something rank?
     
  16. Shatmandu

    Shatmandu Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2006
    [​IMG]

    <Charlie rolls his eyes back, and Rand grows a 14-inch black penis.>
    Charlie: "I'm going to like it here."
     
  17. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2001
    Location:
    The Warped Sector of the Demented Quadrant
    [​IMG]

    CHARLIE:"Neat.

    Look! A Mercury head dime."
     
  18. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2001
    Location:
    The Warped Sector of the Demented Quadrant
    [​IMG]

    KIRK:"You can stop staring now, Charlie.

    Janice won't sleep with you until at least the second night anyways."




    [​IMG]

    UHURA:"Who is THAT?"

    SPOCK:"Unsure. But he looks a lot younger and has more facial bruises than our previous captain."
     
  19. Gary7

    Gary7 Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Location:
    ★•* The Paper Men *•★
    [​IMG]

    Kirk: "Yeoman, c'mon... he's no longer a boy and he needs his 'education.'"
    Charlie: "I'm all set--brought the air bed and everything. Captain, can you show me first how it's done?"


    [​IMG]

    Uhura: "Doctor, I'm alright now. Mr. Spock seems to know CPR really well!"
    Spock: "Indeed."


    [​IMG]

    Charlie: "OK, I brought the booze like you asked. Only one girl? Are we gonna share her, Captain?"
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2009
  20. Gary7

    Gary7 Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Location:
    ★•* The Paper Men *•★
    [​IMG]

    Charlie: "Wow, what's that black shadow stuff on her legs?"

    Kirk: "That's pantyhose, Charlie. You know, nylon stockings."

    Charlie: "It looks amazing... Can I wear some too?"

    Kirk: "I tell you what, I'll get you a nice pair of red tights you can prance around in later."
     
    Last edited: May 20, 2009