TOS Caption Contest #161: Pilot Error

[Rat Boy]

Still waiting on Joe, who's probably got sucked in by Outpost4 to sit in on one of those sanitation commission meetings, but the caption contest marches on. First, let's take a moment to honor...

Our winner for the first picture actually used a reference related to the second picture, and I can't turn away Jeopardy!-esque smarts like that...

BELE: If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Sad part is that kids these days would think it's a comic book reference. Anyway, for explaining the look of dread on Honest Abe's face, our winner is...

Kirk: "Lincoln...Lincoln...let's see; ah, yes! We had a girl we called "Miss Lincoln" in my academy class."

Spock: "And she was called that because...?"

Kirk: "Because everyone took a shot at her in the balcony."

Lincoln: "I see humor hasn't changed much in the last 400 years."

And a two-fer Photoshop win for the latest contestant in the caption contest...

Congratulations to all our winners. This week, we focus on the classic pilot episodes, where collars were ruffled, turbolifts were square, and people communicated to each other on the ship using lamps. First up, we have Gary Mitchell regaling Kirk and Spock yet again about the time a mad computer cut the air hose of his space suit. And next, we see Pike's reaction to every nerd's fantasy. Enjoy:

 

[Rat Boy]

Mitchell: "Did I ever tell you about the time Jim got hopped up on Jack Daniel's and Nyquil?"

Kirk: "Not now, Gary!"

Pike: "The green skin's a nice touch, but what's up with the eight eyes?"

 

[Mysterion]

Mitchell: You're gonna have to choose, Jim! Only one of us can be your bestest friend after this episode! CHOOSE!

 

[Rat Boy]

Best...Olympic torch relay...ever!

 

[Maurice]

Woo! A win! It's been a while, and the competition's fierce!

MITCHELL: Why's Spocko wearing the high collar?
KIRK: Hickeys.

VINA: Once you go green you'll never be clean.

 

[Nerys Myk]

VINA: Hey, my breasts are down here!

 

[Mysterion]

PIKE: you want me to what with the torch, now?

 

[scottydog]

Vena: "I call it my Spock torch."

 

[scottydog]

Mitchell: "What's with his right arm?"

Spock: "He masturbates a lot."

Mitchell: "Oh."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Mitchell: "So you're Spock from Vulcan, eh? I spent some shore leave time on Vulcan recently. Had a good time down there. A really good time, know what I mean? By the way, T'Pring says 'Hello.'"

Pike: "My mother warned me about Orion women! On the other hand, my father says you're the greatest thing since sliced bread!"

 

[Admiral Shran]

Pike: "I'm sorry, I don't swing that way. I prefer my women hunchbacked and deformed."

 

[jep]

Kirk: "I believe you'll find the hazing on the Enterprise is very different... cupcake."


.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MITCHELL: You using a different color of eyeshadow today, Tinkerbell?

KIRK: *snort*

 

[Nerys Myk]

PIKE: I hope you gots my money!

 

[Isis]

Pike: "Vina, I don't care what getups you wear, you're not my type. You're gonna have to stop carrying a torch for me."

 

[alte]

 

[alte]

 

[Isis]

Vina: "Just get over yourself, Chris. You think you're the only man on the planet?"

 

[scottydog]

McCoy surgically altered Kirk's arms prior to First Contact with the Orangatangians.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

*Musik playing*

Mitchell: "Girl from Ipanema"?
Spock: Correct.

Vina-Orion: Finishing Job or Happy Ending?
Pike: What's the diff?
Vina-Orion: One leaves you with a smile, the other grinning from ear to ear.