TOS Caption Contest #146: Go-Go Boots Cover A Lot of Sins

[DrBob]

Diamond Jim & Carl are back!

 

[John Picard]

Kirk was 80 years ahead of Cmdr William Riker with the "Stink nuts" maneuver; however, Cmdr Riker did refine the technique greatly.

 

[John Picard]

Diamond Jim: *snicker* "He says he won't pay us for the shipment because we were late".

Carl Spock: "Am I gonna hafta kill a honkey?"

 

[seigezunt]

JJKirk: We've got to help them, Bones! They don't wax the deck like this in their universe!

 

[Jptrekker]

Thanks for the win Shatmanboo!

God bless William Ware Theiss and the "Theiss Titillation Theory", which claims that "the degree to which a costume is considered sexy is directly proportional to how accident-prone it appears to be" which is named after him.

Captain, we appear to have traced the time distortion back to the early 1970's when Grace Brothers started selling their fully functional android mannequins.

 

[Nerys Myk]

While Scott and McCoy had failed, Kirk was determined not to be bested by an aerobics instructor.

 

[Finnegan]

Voice of unseen DJ: Alright, gentlemen, time to put your hands together and make a little noise for the lovely....Natasha!!

Kirk: "Hi-def" my ass--and it's all distorted and washed-out, too! Last Time I buy a big-screen tv from Harry Mudd!

Spock's 23rd-century Flowbie assured him of a perfect haircut--everytime!

Kirk: You totally can too light a fart with a phaser--just watch....back in the academy we called 'em "Organian Starbursts".......

 

[Jptrekker]

The nude jumping jacks had moved to the bridge, with the approval of all but Sulu.

 

[scottydog]

Flight Attendant: "... and to operate your seatbelt, simply insert the buckle and pull the strap tightly."

Kirk: "Seatbelts, Spock?"

Spock: "An advanced technology we have never before encountered."

 

[The Badger]

Chekov: New scientific adwisor does not seem to be taking job sewiously!

Kirk: And his hair is dafter than yours.

 

[Tribble]

^ Haha, that exact picture of the Doctor is sitting on my desk.

Kirk: The new Spock sex doll is great, but I find it a bit creepy how he stares at my receding hairline the whole time...

Go-go-boot girl: Geez, I told you walking on heels isn't easy...

 

[Tribble]

Kirk: One last time, Sulu, hands off the projector!

 

[Yeoman Randi]

JJ (off screen): "Where's the fucking lens flares when you need them????"

 

[GeorgeKirk]

Chekov: "Vwhat the hell?!"

 

[Tribble]

Annual Enterprise Soccer Tournament

 

[Isis]

Spock: "Jim, getting the Beatles here was one of your better ideas, but this Miley Cyrus girl really sucks."

Kirk: "This pain just isn't worth it. I think I'll keep the gut."

 

[scottydog]

Sulu: "No lie. This is what Spock's bifurcation looks like."

 

[Isis]

Kirk: "This is the last time I play Twister without a mat."

 

[Shatmandu]

 

[John Picard]

GoGo Boots Girl: "Perhaps we can work out a trade if you take me to the next Star Base?"

Cue Porn Music <Boom Chick a Wow Wow>