TOS Caption Contest #146: Go-Go Boots Cover A Lot of Sins

Kirk: "If this is what the Go-Go boot broad has him doing, he's better off dead."






Chekov: "Vhat the fudge?"





Kirk: "Mr. Chekov, it's time you commanded your first First Contact mission ..."

 

Chekov: "Keptin, I dunt underrstaund. Ven ve beamed de vor Beatles bek to Earth, ze became vor vat vomen."

 

Go-Go: "Look, I just want my child support, and ..."
Spock: "Guards, set phasers to Kill."








Kirk: "Doctor, whatever button you just hit, he grabbed my noodle."





The other two were fine, but McCoy's bladder let loose.

 

Go-Go: "And that, gentlemen, is how to properly titty-fuck."

Spock, sighing and thinking: "We need to encounter more 3-breasted species."




Kirk, stifling a giggle: "Doctor, he just text-messaged me that he wants you to put his brain in his ass."

< one second later>



Spock: "Take that, Captain. I hope you didn't land too hard on YOUR brain."

 

The early-model Cylons still had a long way to go before they were ready for mass-production.

 

Stripper: "Gentlemen who wants to see me put these boots behind my ears?..."
All: (except Uhura & Sulu) Me, me ,me








Kirk: "Worst episode ever"

 

Stripper: "Gentlemen if you'll set up the pole I'll begin the show"
Kirk: "It's up"
Stripper: "Where?"
Kirk: "Oh that pole, .... Scotty one strpper pole stat!
Scotty: "Aye sir on the way"

 

Kara: "I need a brain, a heart, some courage, a way home and a oil can."

Kirk: "The oil is down in my quarters, we'll negotiate the heart and the courage."

Spock: "Captain, what about ... "

Kirk: "Mister Spock you have the bridge, for now."



Chekov: " ... the antimatter charges are in place, in one years time Ceti Alpha Six will explode."



Kara: "I need some panties."

Kirk: "Uhura will loan you hers

Uhura: "Sorry, commando."

Kirk: "Well then, Mister Sulu will ... "

Sulu: "Captain you know sunday is diaper day."

Kirk: "Of course. Uhura put me on shipwide speakers.""

ATTENTION YEOMAN RAND -- REPORT TO THE BRIDGE WEARING PANTIES -- THAT IS ALL

 

Chekov: "Ve found this in Meester Spock's collection."

Kirk: "Set up an appointment with the one on the right."

 

Sulu (dreamily): "Oh my! Where have they been all my life?"

Chekov: "See, Keptin? He's not gay. He's just a BBW man!"

 

Shatner: "If Nimoy gets one, I want one."






Go-Go: "Our Viagra-Ray is quite effective, Captain."

 

Shatner: "So this is Bill Theiss' recommendation for the new female duty uniform, eh? Interesting..."

Nichols: "Well I can tell you right now I'm not wearing that!"

Takei: "I might."

 

Music from Nany Sinatra's These Boots are Made for Walking fills the bridge. Kirk grins, revealing bad teeth, then rubs his own nipples provocatively.

Spock: "Captain, watch out! She's a fem-bot!"

Fembot sprays bullets around the room with boob guns.

 

Kirk (last words): "I...admire women of high...caliber."

 

Kirk: "Well, you have to give him his due, gentlemen. Whatever else you can say about him, Cyrano Jones is obviously one smooth-talking bikini salesman!"

 

SULU: You wanna move? You're blocking the screen.




McCoy notices Go-Go's reflection on the floor and her lack of panties.

 

Kirk: "C'mon, start your Sexual Harassment seminar, toots."





Kirk: "I'm not falling: I'm buttpunching the floor."

 

Chekov (whispering): Hikaru, don't you have that same outfit?
Sulu (under his breath): Bitch.


Spock: Captain, security has finally arrived to do completely nothing about the threat to our ship.



Chekov: Ve could stop and ask for directions.
Kirk: What are you, a woman?

 

With the universal translators non-functional, their last hope of communication was the break-dance.