TOS Caption Contest #128 - Record Time

McCoy: Enterprise, come in! COME in, Enterprise! McCoy here! This is URGENT. Whatever you do, do NOT mix Mentos with soda pop in your mouth! Do you read me? Do NOT mix Mentos with soda pop in your mouth!!

Kirk: It's all right Spock. You're going to be all right.

Spock: Muh toof! I fink dats muh toof on da ground dere!

 

Sulu: Uhuru! I'm frightened. I just realized this morning . . . I can't remember my FIRST name!!

Uhuru: Now that you mention it, I can't remember MINE either . . .

 

Romaine: "Ha! I can't believe you thought MC Hammer was Scottish."

Scott: "T'were an easy mistake to make. Ma da always told me that Angus McHammer were a historical trooser enthusiast from Argyle."



Scott: "Mira, you got some 'splainin to do."

Romaine: "Waaaaaahh!"

 

TLV, you may have just won. The only question is whether I've already given somebody else a win for that same caption on a different screen cap. It's been used before. I just can't remember if I awarded it. I'm not sure.

Who knows...I probably gave it to you.

 

Could be, I'm the sort of cheapskate who recycles my own gags.

Funny thing is, I've never seen an episode. I have seen the bus full of Lucys in Rat Race though.


Unless you're talking about the MC Hammer gag, cos that one's fresh...

 

No, I meant Lucy.

How does one as old as you go through life without seeing an episode of I Love Lucy? I can't believe they haven't made it across the pond, but maybe not.

Still, I'll let you know a secret. You're now not going to win this contest, at least for this caption. Dezi Arnez, Jr. is pissed.

 

Scotty: "Ach, if this goes on any longer, I'm going to be blinder than Geordi and my hands will be furrier than a tribble."

 

I have used it before, Haven't I?

I don't remember I Love Lucy in the UK, at least not on network TV. I grew up on Bilko though, and I even remember an episode or two of Hogan's Heroes. I think I might have seen Lucy on Indian TV about 30 years ago...

 

Kirk: But how does someone get struck by lightning on a cloudless day?

 

McCoy: Enterprise! Spock has been asaulted! Have security keep a look out for a short man and his two companions; a heavy-set man fond of spontaneous dancing and a skinny man with hair like a porcupine! The short man demanded Mr Spock "pick two" and jabbed his fingers into Spock's eyes, announcing "Dat's what you get fer bein' a Wise Guy and stealin' my hair cut!" The fat one then said "Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk." You might run that through the Universal translator.

Spock: Captain! The others called him "Moe". They said something about finding "Dose damn Beatles next".

Kirk: Bones! Have Life-sciences scan for insect readings!

McCoy: Dammit Jim, I'm not getting any response from the ship! Wait--

Communicator (in harmony): hello! Hello! HELLO! WOO-Wooo-WOO-WOO! Shaddup, ya knucklehead!! *BONK*

 

SCOTTY:"Don't laugh, lass!!!

Carpal tunnel can begin this way, ye know!!!"

 

McCOY:"I'm not sure what Spock ate, Dr. M'Benga...but he's chucking more than Buck Bokai in the pennant race back in 2015! Have a medkit and hypo ready!"

 

"Lass, if you were a ewe..."

 

SCOTTY:"AYE.

Just like the service crawlway last week...she likes to be entered NICE and slow."

 

Mira: I WANT a Golden Goose and I want it NOW!!!!

Scotty: You'll get your golden goose as soon as we get home!

 

"Screamin' won't get you a taste o' Little Scotty ANY sooner, lass. Be patient...good things come in those who wait."

 

Everybody kept warning Spock.

DON'T eat the green snow.

 

McCoy: What's that, Enterprise? Repeat! I did not hear you. It's made from what?

Spock: People . . . Soylent Green is made from . . . PEOPLE!



Scotty: That's right, Lass. People. That's why I would'na touch the stuff

Mira: Oh GOD! I'm gonna HURL!



Sulu: Oh MY! Uhura! I ate an entire plate of Lady-fingers!

Uhura: Never mind that--the Girl Scout Cookies!!!

Sulu: Don't tell me!!

Uhura: Made from REAL Girl Scouts!!!

Sulu: I asked you NOT to tell me!

 

We got him good and plastered. Beam down the strippers and let's take the picture. And that is how a Georgia boy wins an argument.




I want a BAAAAAABY!
Sorry lass. My hyperspanner was aimed at your biological clock.




Ever get that...not so fresh feeling?

 

McCoy: A kick in the nuts trumps a nerve pinch any day. Enterprise, three to beam up.