Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #551: April Fools!

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest!

I know I said there'd be winners posted from the previous two contests, I don't have that ready tonight, but the winners will be posted in the next day or so.

Also, I'm working some time travel with the Contest numbers, the last contest, we had a poll for who would be featured in Contest #550, this is April Fools week and I always love to do that contest, so next week, we will jump back in time to contest 550 and feature the winner of the poll: Q!

For this contest, we step aboard a different starship, the Orville!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

First up to the plate, we have the "Good Question!" Award, going to Nerys Myk for:

PICARD: This whole system is automated. What the hell do you people do all day?

Next, we have the "Such respect for the junior officers" Award, going to Bry_Sinclair for:

Picard: Mr Worf, have you forgotten that you're now the Security Chief? There are other minions who can take the helm.

Next, we have the "I'm shocked, shocked, to see gambling going on this bridge!" Award, going to Herbert for:

Riker: Mr Worf! Are you still standing rigidly at attention?
Worf: Yes Sir! Commander Sir!
Riker: <whispering to LaForge> I figure I can keep him like this for several hours. <snicker>
LaForge: <whispering to Riker> No way. Another hour at most.
Riker: <whispering> I'll bet you 20 quatloos I can keep him at attention for three more hours.
LaForge: <whispering> You're on.

Next, we have the "Getting to the truth" Award, going to JirinPanthosa for:

PICARD: Why yes, I do give you special treatment because I want to get with your mother. Wait, why did I say that?
WESLEY: Programmed your replicator to put truth serum in your tea.

Next, we have the "Don't jinx it" Award, going to Smellincoffee for:

Picard: Just once, I'd like to do a mission without hearing bad news from engineering.
Riker, frantically mouthing to LaForge: "TRY LATER".

Next, we have the "Plenty of chairs but no one is allowed to sit" Award, going to Mojochi for:

Picard: Don't make me order you to stand in the corner too, Number 1.

Next, we have the "What about the one with the castle?" Award, going to Triskelion for:

Picard: No, I still cannot see the sailboat.
Data: Man, fuck this shit.

Next, we have the "We need to make this quick..." Award, going to tharpdevenport for:

Picard: "Right. Thank you all for coming to the meeting. I know we're on red alert and currently under attack by an enemy vessel, but this is really important business. Now, let's casually talk about it."

Next, we have the "Important Contests!" Award going to Laura Cynthia Chambers for:

One of Captain Picard's lesser known duties was judging the finalists in the annual Enterprise best profile contest.

Next, we have the "Traffic is gonna be great" Award, going to Mr. Laser Beam for:

Traffic roundabouts...OF THE FUTURE!!!

Two Awards!

First:

Riker: Commander's Log--We have been frozen for over an hour waiting for the Captain to return from his ready room. I am beginning to think this prank is more effort than it's worth.

Picard: Captain's Log--Those fools are frozen on the bridge waiting for me to come out of the ready room, but I've since beamed to my quarters. I wonder how long they can keep this up for?

And:

Captain's log: Today is the 1st day of my new briefing room seating chart, that organizes everyone by height

 

[LeadHead]

WOW! Thank you all for Photoshops! I always love to see the great creativity of them!

First Photoshop Award, goes to:

Riker: captain at the helm again?
La Forge: mhmm...

Next,

The moment when the bridge crew realized that maybe, just maybe, crossovers are always the best of things?

Next:

Stewart: "Well, it's Girl Scout Cookie time again, but Thin Mints are in very short supply and as you can see we have a bit of a dilemma here...."

A rare Tag-Team Photoshop Award going to:

First Photo Credit

The crew begins to experience the result of what happened five minutes before:

A couple of great captions on the Photoshops deserved special recognition!

First:

Riker: Oh wow, it's like that drug trip I saw in that movie while I was on a drug trip.

And:

Riker: I see a great hand, reaching out of the stars...
Picard: Stop quoting Babylon 5. Oh...

Many KBL's this time!

Riker: "Sir, he's here."
Picard: "Okay, this meeting of the top-secret Redshirt Society will now come to order!"
La Forge: "Uh, question? How can it be a secret if it's held on the bridge with at least one goldshirt present?"
Picard: "If you like goldshirts so much, Mr, La Forge, then why don't you join them? Harumph!"
La Forge: "Fine! Maybe I will! Hmph!"

Next:

Picard: "Lieutenant, how long until we reach the starbase to repair our sensor array?"
Worf: "I can't tell sir."
Picard: "You can tell me, I'm the captain."
Worf: "I'm just not sure."
Picard: "Well, can't you take a guess."
Worf: "Um, well... not for another two hours."
Picard: "You can't take a guess for another two hours?"
Worf: "No, I mean we're not going to reach the starbase for another two hours."

Next:

"You're telling ME to shut up? Who do you think I am, Wesley?!"

Next:

Laforge: Let's call it the Aracno-Barclay nebula.

Next:

Picard: I've called this meeting to discuss a grave concern.
Riker: The Borg?
LaForge: Romulans?
Riker: <thinking> Earl Grey tea shortage? <snicker>
Data: Q?
Picard: no, worse than all those. This table, unlike the ones in all the other caption pics, is not reflective and I want to know why

And:

Data: So it turns out a magic eye picture can kill all Borg.

Many thanks to all who participated and congrats to our winners!

 

[LeadHead]

Richard Bashir: This is what we used to Genetically enhance my son, Julian.

The Doctor: Please, reset my physical characteristics, Ill take the bald jokes over being compared to Tuvok.

Janeway: First, give me back the Captain's chair. Second, give me that coffee. Third, get me more coffee!

Mercer: They're comparing our show and Discovery? They're completely different!

Isaac: I believe these Mr. Potato Head materials are preferable to getting dressed up as Sherlock Holmes or Prospero.

Qui-Gon: Help me Captain Ed Mercer, you're my only hope.

 

[shivkala]

Mercer: On second thought, I'm fine with the pimple. No need to remove it.

The Doctor: Now remind me, what medical emergency required me to dress up like this?

Mercer: Captain's Diary, space, the last perimeter. These are the excursions of the spaceship Orville. It's long-ass mission, to look for new aliens and new cultures, to go daringly where no one else is gullible enough to go.

Mercer: And you're saying that though this Black Mirror episode aired before ours, it's entirely possible that our mission was not influenced by it at all.

Isaac: Yes, sir, I believe it to be a case of parallel development.

Mercer: Well, if it's good enough for the lawyers, it's good enough for me.

Mercer: Isaac, get those ridiculous toys off of your face!

Isaac: If you insist sir. However, I ask that you assist me in opening my buttocks compartment to store these pieces properly.

Liam Neeson: If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it.

Director: Those aren't the lines, Liam.

Liam Neeson: I'm Liam F'ing Neeson, I say whatever lines I want to say, you hear?

 

[Herbert]

Damn it Shivkala, you went for the low hanging fruit and worse, you beat me to it

 

[Herbert]

Worf: Personal log, stardate 47391.2. I was returning from the Bat'leth competition on Forcas Three but I seem to have shifted into another reality. The good news is I still have ridges, the bad news it that I look kind of like a rejected model for Discovery Klingons.

 

[shivkala]

Damn it Shivkala, you went for the low hanging fruit and worse, you beat me to it

 

[Mr Soak]

Having the viewscreen at the side of the bridge was a godsend for the ship's chiropractor.

Please state the nature of the family emergency.

The decision to combine toilets with the bridge chairs was welcomed by all.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Dad: "Please state the nature of your parental offspring emergency."

Ed: "Damnit -- banana shields; they're evolved. How'd people cut bananas two hundred years ago?

 

[Catarina]

Picardo: damnit Catarina, you dropped the ball on our April fools Caption Contest. I had to come over here. Sorry...

 

[Nerys Myk]

MERCER: As hair salons go, the service is terrible but the coffee is incredible

 

[TrickyDickie]

Kelly: "Seems like we've encountered a bit of a problem here...."

Ed: "I'm not gonna waste a perfectly good banana on that shit."

 

[JirinPanthosa]

ED: Are these the remains of the poster who brought up how much he hated Discovery unsolicited in the thread where we were having a nice conversation about The Orville?
FINN: Yes.
ED: Disintegrate them some more.

DOC: I think I like this Orville holoprogram Mr Paris wrote better than the historical 23rd century program written by Mister Tuvok. Holoprograms should be happy and fun, you know?
JANEWAY: To each his own I guess, I prefer the programs that explore the darker parts of our history.

ED: Why yes, we ARE going to milk the sexual tension for a while.

ISAAC: It appears there are outstanding warrants on the Captain for plagiarism in ten different star systems. Springfield IV, Greendale VI, ...
ED: Thank you, Mr Isaac. Sheesh, some people have no sense of humor.

ED: You expect me to punish someone for this? I literally gave a slap on the wrist for cutting off another crew member's leg, and for feeding a crew member to another.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Silent...but deadly.

 

[Qonundrum]

"Ugly giant bags of mostly water, would you get me a drink? Preferably Everclear, I am so parched."

"Fly with me, we'll go places. Just hop onto my back and I'll get flapping."

Director: "Seth, Adrienne, look at camera two - not camera one. Thank you."

The captain is surprised to see Mr Potato head's reaction to finding the obscure planet of the hash browns...

"One of us. One of us. One of us."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Ed: "I can't tell -- is that your we're all gonna die face or your I found another innocuous nebula face?"

 

[Captain Crow]

Neeson: That was a dirty trick wasn't it, eh? Eh? Kicking me right in the bahoogies.

 

[LeadHead]

Winners have been added to this contest!

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Thanks for the win

Kitan: Ooo, look at the shiny shiny!

Emergency Paternal Hologram: Please state the nature of the event and/or item your mother has forbade you from attending and/or purchasing.

Mercer: How are we better than the Enterprise? We have cup holders.

Isaac: Lifeforms. You dismal little lifeforms. You pathetic little lifeforms. Death to you!

Isaac: I still look better that Discovery's "Klingons".

Finn: Shit, we're all going to be murdered now!