Contest: ENTER TNG Caption This! #539: Free For All

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Dec 27, 2017.

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  1. Mr Soak

    Mr Soak Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Data (distorted): Swing low, sweet chariot...
    Riker: Captain, I think I've discovered Data's weakness...

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    Troi: What do I care about you're problems, you'll be gone from the show before the next episode. Wait, did I say that out loud?

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    Yar: I've been with Data. Let's just say, you don't fill me with confidence.

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    Riker: ...yeah, I got nothing.

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    Barclay: Thank you all for coming to my public speaking and confidence talk.
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2017
  2. Mojochi

    Mojochi Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    The fact that the head trauma he'd caused Wesley was only temporary didn't diminish Worf's satisfaction
     
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  3. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Riker: Modern art makes no sense to me.
    Troi: The little card says "Windows 3D Pipes"
    Riker: Ohhh, so it's retro!...still doesn't make any sense.
     
  4. Orac

    Orac Admiral Admiral

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    On the next episode of Staaaaaar Trek The Next Generation: Commander Riker trips over an alien sculpture after he's distracted by Cousellor Troi's bum.
     
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  5. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Walrus Premium Member

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    WORF: Hey everyone, I got my teeth fixed!
    WES: I didn't even know Klingons has dentists!
    WORF: Of course they do. On occasion, someone is born with perfectly straight teeth and require braces.
     
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  6. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Riker: Data - the Vape Lounge is just a decoy.
    Data: So I have gathered, Commander.
     
  7. Herbert

    Herbert Captain Captain

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    You've got a hard lip, Herbert
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    Riker: Tell Geordi his Tetris holosimulation needs work
     
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  8. Herbert

    Herbert Captain Captain

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    Wesley: I am sooo wasted
    Worf: <giggling incoherently>
    Yar: <offscreen> What did I tell you two about drugs!
     
  9. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Worf: "Why, yes -- my parents are British. How did you know?"
     
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  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Walrus Premium Member

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    RIKER: Damn it, Barry! Leave Data alone.
     
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  11. Mr Soak

    Mr Soak Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Worf: Wesley, did I ever tell you about the time Klingons used to eat humans? A glorious time. Sometimes I long for those days to return.
     
  12. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Barclay: Well the results of Jibber-JabberFest are in. And while this year's competitions were heated, the judging was unanimous. Honorable Mentions go to Commander Riker's Unsolicited Fraternization Patter with bridge crew, as well as Lieutenant Worf's Klingon Rituals Flapdoodle. In Third place was a tie between Doctor Crusher's Unlikely Medical Procedures and Medicines Names; and Commander Data, for high scores in the Inane Pablum During Crisis category. Second place goes to last year's champion Geordi LaForge, for his Tedious Engineering Shtick. And this year - the envelope please...I LOVE MY LIFE!....Quelle Surprise, the Stardate 43807.4 Champion JibberJabber STFU Award goes to....Captain Picard! For L'Idiome Fran├žais, His Stupendous French Idiom!
    Wesley: What the - I didn't even show??
    Picard: Oh behalf of Low-Intermediate French Speakers everywhere, Tais-toi, Wesley!
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2017
  13. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Walrus Premium Member

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    BARCLAY: And I'd like to apologize to everyone for my behavior. Well, except for Wesley. Because, come on, no one likes him. Not even his mom.
    WES: Hey!
    BEVERLY: He's not wrong...
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2017
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  14. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Wesley: Face...melting....
    Worf: IT IS A GOOD DAY TO EAT BEANS!!!
     
  15. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Worf: Security Officer's Personal Log--Why is it Data is the only one who is allowed to go crazy, hijack the ship, or what have you? Today that changes. Today is Worf's Day! Today I take revenge for all the times I've been treated like a fool, had my suggestions scoffed at, been beaten up, and so on! Today is a good day to die!
     
    Last edited: Dec 31, 2017
  16. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Walrus Premium Member

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    WES: Don't uniforms usually include pants?
    WORF: It's called a "Skant".
     
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  17. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Barclay: "and so, due to a freak transporter accident I always fretted about and everybody assured me ended when James T. Kirk wasn't any longer allowed to operate a transporter, I now have balls on my chin. Just look at them. Dangly. Hairy. Big. Look at them!"
     
  18. Herbert

    Herbert Captain Captain

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    Q: Everything is $1.00, including this uniform
    Picard: I expected more from the Continuum's yard sale
     
  19. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Q: I love this setting, because what ever I do, it's in tents! Get it?

    Data: In tents? Ah, you are attempting to use a pun, a form of linguistic word play intended to create humor. You have subverted our expectation of the word "intense" by using the preposition "in" with the plural form of "tent." However, since you only have one, you are grammatically incorrect. You should have said, "It is in a tent," which, granted would not have the same humorous effect. Also, you are actually outside of the structure, so you are using the wrong preposition. Lastly, your structure is more of a canopy than a tent, which completely ruins your attempt at humor, thin as it may have been.

    Q: And they call me insufferable!
     
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  20. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Walrus Premium Member

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    Q: Like it? It's from the Continuum's Early Gothos Period.
     
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