TNG Caption This! 293: The Return of the Blu-Ray Images!

[LeadHead]

Happy Saturday everyone!

First up to the plate, we have the "Crucial Questions" Award, going to:

Picard: "Why the hell do we need three different Mrs. Fields stores?"

Next, we have the "M*A*S*H" Award, going to:

DIRECTOR (offscreen): "And... Freeze Frame for the last shot of the episode right there!"

Next, we have the "Shuttlecraft Cleanup Crew Disaster" Award, going to:

Ro: "Oh my God! Gross! Turn off that black light! And I don't even wanna know what those stains are!"

Next, we have the "Beginning of the Android Takeover of the Galaxy" Award, going to:

Geordi: "What's that weird flashing light you have there, Data? It's curiously... it's quite... it's... ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNODROID!"

Next, we have the "Accidents" Award, going to:

Riker: Hey, Wesley, dumbass, that's the restroom. This is the transporter room. Now, get a mop!

Our Runaway Photoshop Award goes to:

CASHIER: Would you like a drink with that?

PICARD: Make it soda.

The ensign discovered just how easily provoked a Klingons belly laugh could be when she tickle attacked Worf.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

With the Season 2 Blu-Ray coming soon, time to spend some time with our 1st season blu-rays again!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Riker: We have exploding paintings now?!

The bets are in! 70% of you think Troi's talking to him, 22% say it's Data, 5% say Geordi. Lets see who it is...

Riker: Change the radio station! I don't wanna hear Rush!

Worf: Sir, if we continue on that course we will cras-

La Forge: Quiet, Worf! I'm trying to be cool! I'll never be on the bridge again after this season!

*Knock* *Knock*

Picard: Does anyone want to check that?

...

Picard: Maybe if we just stay quiet they'll go away.

 

[bullethead]

Riker: Was that-
Picard: Yes Numbah One, that was a disc from one of those Tron movies. Now you see why the Enterprise was ordered to provide security for this convention.
Worf (over communicator): Captain, we're being overrun by Twilight and Hunger Games fans!
Picard: Merde!

As usual, Data didn't get the Captain's French sense of humor.

Everyone but Worf was horrified by Q's revelation of their fate in the Star Trek EU.

Geordi: I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am!
Worf: That does not change the fact that you are still blind... and cannot sustain a relationship with a woman.

The crew was disappointed by reception of TNG-R S2's VFX.

 

[shivkala]

This Thanksiving weekend, I give thanks to Leadhead for the win!

Picard: Wow, when Stellar Outfitters says, "this Black Friday we're having a 'Fire Sale,'" they don't lie!

Picard: *thinking to himself* Oh, crap, what was Data saying again? I can't remember, my mind started to drift off. I need to say, something, don't I? Something that won't tip off I have no idea what he's saying. Nothing specific, but something that will also just make him go away. Hmmm, "Yeah, sounds good, go with that?" Naw, that sounds too weak. "I order you to do that?" No, that wouldn't work if he was just asking if I wanted some tea. Wait, I got it...

Data: ...rendering them helpless, but not causing any casulties...

Picard: Make it so. *to himself*...Nailed it!

And that was the last time the crew looked in on what Picard and Crusher were up to.

Geordi: Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't listening.

Worf: Apparently, humans are dumber than we Klingons give them credit for. They don't even know which part of their anatomy is responsible for auditory processing!

To Worf's embrassment, Data could never quite get the concept of musical chairs.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: You idiot, that's where we keep the lens flare!!

PICARD: Damn, gold is such a better color for command.

WORF: You might want to zip up, Commander.

GOLDSHIRT: Dude, you're blocking my face. I told my mom I'd was gonna be on Star Trek!!

No one had the guts to tell Admiral Eastwood the chair was empty.

 

[Triskelion]

Stone groove moves, Number One! Computer, end disco stud hologram. We're ready for real hot disco ladies!

Data: Sorry I am late, Captain. I was knee-deep in green booty.

Worf: James Brown is alive - on Cytheria?
Cytherian James Brown: Bipedal locomotion-yah!

Geordi: No more self-abuse jokes - I've heard 'em all! Look at my palms - no hair! No hair!

Worf: Hairy palms is just a myth. Unlike vision loss.

Data: As you can see from Youtube, sir - what happens in Delta-Vega does not stay in Delta-Vega.

 

[Skywalker]

Thanks for the win! Though now I'm craving Mrs. Fields.

Riker: "Okay, who hacked the viewscreen and put Goatse up on it?!"
*the crew hears laughter coming from Picard's ready room*

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win LH!

Riker: "If an asthmatic dude, all in black with a helmet walks out of that, you're on your own."

Data: "We have an HD fail sir. The clarity is so good now that the camera crew can be discerned from the reflection on your head."

Riker: "Merde! I surrender. Merde! I surrender."
Worf: "Mocking one's superior officer is dishonourable. Humorous, yes. But dishonourable..."

La Forge: "Stop! Geordi time!"

Picard: "Stop admiring your reflection in my head, Numbah One, and pay attention to the viewscreen."

 

[Isis]

Riker: "Over here, Captain; don't waste that great pose."

Picard (to self): "Next time, I'll have to remember that androids don't process plomeek too well."

Riker: "Mr. Worf, ask those menacing-looking aliens if it's really an emergency. I was just about to start my floor routine."

Picard (OS): "Sorry, Geordi, but you're not quite ready for our Vulcan greeting party."

Unseen speaker at meeting: "Blah, blah, blah...blah, blah...blah, blah, blah..."

Riker (to self): "Yar was right. Data really does have a great ass."

 

[R. Star]

Picard: I'm going to miss these season 1 phasers.
Riker: Yeah, they exploded on impact and looked like they stood a chance of harming whoever you shot.

Picard: Soliciting sexual favors from Counselor Troi is not acceptable behavior. A reprimand will appear on your record.
Data: But am I not more human?
Picard: From the judge of it you're about six inches more human than I am commander. Deactivate your erection sub-routines in my presence.

Yar: Ugh!
Troi: Will, wear some deodorant!
Riker: It doesn't smell that bad.
Worf: It smells quite.... stimulating.

Geordi: That's right, I got gold rims, and all the style in the world. Talk to the pimp hand boys, I'll be busy with the ladies.
Goldshirt: I'll get more ladies than you by the end of the season.
Worf: This is the only episode you're in.
Goldshirt: That's right, no one will reject me.

Riker: Oh Jean-Luc, the luster of your pate sets my heart aflutter. Will you go out with me?
Picard: No!
Data: This is most fascinating.
Worf: I do not want to be here.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Dr. Pulaski (angrily, on viewscreen): "Well, I'm sorry you're not impressed! But nobody looks good topless on a high-gravity planet!"

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: Bloody hell, when the BBC said they wanted to take stuff out of the episode I didn't think they'd be so forceful about it...

Picard: *SNIFF* Hmm, should have washed my hands...

Riker: Gangham style!

Geordi: How!

Worf: *Thinking* Great, another episode where we try to make up for the near genocide of the Native American people by bringing some on board and patronising them.

Picard: I'm sorry Mr. Worf, Will... But we can't wait any longer for your dates to turn up.

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: Welcome to the House of Rixx. Please walk this way.
Lwaxana <telepathically>: Oh not funny, Jean Luc!

If you wish to enter the time warp, Captain, I must recalibrate my pelvic thrust gyroscope to a less gender-specific orientation.

Make it so, Data.

Riker: It's just a jump to the left!
Yar: Your left, dillhole!

Geordi: Hold on, I'm trying to pick up some of Riker's moves on the hot new Ensign.

Worf: It is not the influx of the vortex, it is the size of your nacelle.

Riker: Aren't those captain's briefs?

Picard: Data, please accompany Counselor Troi back to her gin binge.

 

[Eydie Munroe]

Picard: They’re gonna love this camel spin!
Riker: I don’t remember fireworks being part of this routine!
Crusher: Hmmm…should I call this "Starfleet Follies" or "The Enterprise Ice Capades"?

Picard: Hmmm…I wonder if Data would know who put the bomp in the bomp sha bomp sha bomp?

Yar: God, I can’t believe he’s making us sing Volare again.
Troi: Agreed. I’d rather chew this gum I just found on my boot.
Worf: I’m gonna be a star!!
Riker: And a one! And a two!

LaForge: You say I don’t look good in red? Bitch please!

 

[Ln X]

Picard: Come here you possessed bugger!

Picard: Is it that serious?
Data: It's a matter of life or death, the crew members clamour for fraternization captain or else they will go crazy or mutiny or both.
Picard: So a relaxing of interpersonal relations is called for?
Data: Absolutely.

The moment the director said cut, each actor looked to the place where they kept their scripts.

Micheal Dorn had his pinned to the ceiling, Denise Crosby had hers stuck onto her console, Marina Sirtis inked her script on her hand and Jonathan Frakes, being the joker he is, embroidered his lines on the armpits of his uniform jacket.

LaForge: Commencing countdown , engines on...
Check ignition and may gods love be with you.
Security officer: What is he doing?
Worf: He calls it the Ziggy Stardust routine.

Picard: Where are Beverly and Troi?

Riker smugly thinking away; threesomes are such fun!

 

[TommyR01D]

Picard: Deanna, we've invited you in here to discuss the results of your helmsman exam.

 

[Ln X]

Picard: Deanna, we've invited you in here to discuss the results of your helmsman exam.

 

[Triskelion]

Admiral Henry: It will be three weeks before the nearest starship can rendezvous with a big-ass aquarium net.

Data: Until then, sir, we'll have to make due with the shipboard aqualung and bubbling treasure chest.

Picard: Make it so, Mister Data.

 

[Ln X]

Admiral over subspace: Captain, have you lost your mind? Why do you want to travel around Earth's oceans in the Enterprise?

Picard: Well admiral, for all of Starfleet's talk about exploring new worlds and the final frontier, we haven't even properly mapped out Earth's own oceans yet!

 

[Triskelion]

^ Hear hear, Ln X!!!!