Contest: ENTER STV Caption Contest #215: The One With Andy Dick In It

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

Here are the winners of the last contest...

@tharpdevenport wins the Best Fart Joke with:

Janeway: "I swear to GOD, Tuvok!"

Tuvok: "Holding it was highly illogical."


@tharpdevenport also gets the Captain's Choice Award with this sequential gag:

Tuvok: "Captain, I believe I am experiencing pon far."

Janeway: "I have space herpes."
Tuvok: "Oh. My mistake. I'll try another set of quarters..."

MINUTES LATER...

Tuvok: "7 of 9, I believe I am experiencing pon far."

Tom: "Oh my Zod, Tuvok -- you're naked!!!"
Tuvok: "Lt. Paris. I thought these were 7 of 9's quarters."
Tom: "They are, I'm just ... waiting for her."
Tuvok: "In her bed?"
Tom: "I ... I was sleepy."
Tuvok: "Then where is 7 of 9?"

MEANWHILE...

Harry: "Are you sure you'll be captain in a few years and that if I sleep with you now, you'll promote me?"
7 of 9: "Correct. Now shut up and kiss me. And pull your pants down."

WOODCOTAY SUDDENLY WAKES UP...

Woodcotay: "What? OH. Oh. It was all just a dream. A horrible dream. Tuvok naked, Paris making a move on my semi official girlfriend, Harry getting promoted ... all just a dream..."

TUVOK WALKS IN

Tuvok: "Or was it?"


Third Place goes to @JirinPanthosa with:

JANEWAY: Everyone quick, roll under the door as it's closing!


@Delta Vega gets Second Place with:

"Oh shit, I just realised I've left my central heating on at home"


And the winner is @Captain pl1ngpl0ng with:

A Cuchi Moya...... Salamanders!!

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Here're th' new pictures:

 

[Tenacity]

And who can forget the episode where Andy Dick is transported to the future and repeatedly had to go to sickbay after the ship's officers continually beat him up, shocked him, pushed him down stairs, down turboshifts, out air locks, threw boiling hot fluids on him, and phasered off various limbs.

Because he was acting like Andy Dick.

Janeway: "As always, I'm confident that my officers fully support my latest plan."

 

[Delta Vega]

Janeway " Y. . . . MCA, Y. . . MCA aaay"

 

[Captain pl1ngpl0ng]

Janeway: yeah that probe out there looks excactly like my first husbands slong...

 

[Orac]

Picardo: Don't ever kiss me again!

 

[Delta Vega]

Beltran to Ryan : "Hey, I just found out I'm going to be banging you in Season 7"

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Mulgrew: I've just read the script and have headache THIS big. Where's the #!@#ing Tylonol on this set?!

 

[Herbert]

Janeway: shush, I'm voguing.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

JANEWAY: Did you ever get the feeling the hookups on this ship are completely random without any prior established chemistry?

JANEWAY: Yeah, I talked down the alien alpha male again. BOOYEAH!

DOC: If you sneak up on the medical equipment, it gives you the reading you want.

DOC: Would you like the transfusion, or would you rather die than pollute your body with Klingon filth as is your people's way?

DOC: What do you mean we have to repopulate the Federation?!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Doctor (Picardro): Why can't you stop being a prick for one second?!
Doctor (Dick): I prefer the term 'Holo-Dick', thank you very much.

 

[Orac]

Next time on Star Trek: Voyeur...

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Next time on Star Trek: Voyeur...

I can suddenly hear Marty McFly in my head saying.... “He’s a peeping Tom!”

 

[Finn]

Doc (Voy): What do you mean they went with Andy Dick? They should have gone with Luciano Pavarotti! I'm going to have a talk with our creator.

 

[Orac]

Picardo: Where'd th' cheese go?
Dick: I don't know!

 

[Timewalker]

JANEWAY: I've just been reviewing the "pop culture" Neelix downloaded when we went back in time. I have to give it to these 'fanfiction' writers, Chakotay. They actually found a way to make you interesting! Can't say I'm wildly in favor of you getting Seven pregnant on the Holodeck, though..."

 

[Tenacity]

chakotay: I want you.
seven: i need you.
chakotay: where?
seven: turbolift three is still disabled on deck nine.
chakotay: let's go.
janeway: did someone say something that didn't involve me?

 

[ThreeEdgedSword]

Chakotay to Seven: You and I will fall madly in love by the end of season 7.
Seven: And you are...?
Janeway: Where's an airlock, I mean, a Red Alert when you need one?

 

[Orac]

Picardo: WHY did you program holographic herpes?

 

[Orac]

Nose blowing was considered to be in poor taste in Romulan culture so all boogers had to be surgically extracted.

 

[Qonundrum]

Seven: "What's that smell?"
Chakotay: "Wasn't me."
Janeway: "That's corny."
Seven: "No, that's cornball. A big one. With too much butter and jalapeño sauce."

Janeway: "Every time he's denied a promotion I give it to the EMH virtually instead and he's upset?"

EMH: "What was that I just saw?"
Janeway: "Since when did your sensors get fitted like Geordi's VISOR? Mine are just the silent strong sort."

EMH: "Why did you tell me you ditched Get Smart for Newsradio! What will Agent 66 do now!"