NUMBER ONE: First Officer's Log. Supplemental. We have arrived at the biggest dumpster fire in the quadrant. Starfleet is calling it "The Burn." From our current position, it looks like it can never be extinguished. It probably began with a discarded cigarette. PIKE: It's tires. All the tires from every car ever made brought to this planet for final disposal. The Illyrians were so desperate to join the Federation they offered to take all Earth's old waste and recycle it. Instead, it became the biggest tire pile fire ever recorded. Goodyear, Firestone, Michelin...the final resting ground of all the restless souls of the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. And it poisoned the atmosphere and killed them all...the poor devils... ENSIGN AT WINDOW: Major! Behold the Prophets of Bajor! They have returned to save us from the Cardassian filth! ENSIGN: You're not the Prophets of Bajor! You're Jack Dawson! HEMMER: I'm here to explain to you how we make Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. First, we pour solid milk chocolate into the moulds you see here. And then we beam the peanut butter inside them. Free samples coming right up!