Contest: ENTER ST:VOY Caption Contest #238: The One Where the EMH Has a Psychotic Break

[Oddish]

JANEWAY: "Computer, locate Harry Kim."
COMPUTER: "Find him yourself."
JANEWAY: "I know that trick. It won't work, Junior. Now put some pants on before I tell your dad."
Q JR.: "Awww, you're no fun, Aunt Kathy."

Meanwhile, on Deep Space 9...
CAPT. SISKO: "I've read the personnel file your captain sent home via the Hirogen array, Ensign Kim, your accomplishments are impressive. And while I would avoid just randomly materializing on space stations in the future, we happen to have a berth available for an operations lieutenant, so welcome aboard."
LT. KIM: "Thank you, sir!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Invisible pizza tray.

Boldly going forth to find any sane person who has given a fuck about what George Takei has had to say for the last twenty years.

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Janeway: "This thread is collapsing under the weight of too many pip jokes! Any more and we'll be crushed like a tin can!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Woodcotay: "Tin cans can't get promoted. Only wood can -- I know that for a fact."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Doctor: "No, no, it's not us, ensign -- 24th century cameras add ten pounds of smug arrogance."

Harry: "Looks like it's all in your chin. Chins, I mean, LOL."

Doctor: "Ooohhh, I see some alternate universe ensign Kim needs to be blown out into space, too..."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Chacotay:

Invisible Penisrock.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

It was a dream. He didn't get promoted and J.R. was not shot. ;-)



ALSO...

Janeway: Reading a P.A.D.D., "... 'And she sticks the rank pip she was hiding in her hand to his collar. It is just a piece of composite she replicated moments before the meeting, but also a symbol of increased status and respect.

HARRY (grinning ear to ear): "Thank you, captain!"

☆ THE END ☆ '...[/I]" taps her comm badge, "Janeway to Lt. Tuvok."

Tuvok: "Tuvok here, Captain."

Janeway: "Harry's Voyager fanfiction is getting out of control. Have it destroyed, banned, and beam a pip off his collar to teach him a lesson."

Janeway: Tuvok's mutiny program was better. At least he wrote me doing something realistic in that one...

 

[Orac]

7: Captain, it's right behind you. Don't look!

 

[Oddish]

Captain Janeway experiments with Chakotay's lucid dreaming technique.... but doesn't use the moon.

 

[Orac]

Astronaut William Shatner was to experience cosmic forces beyond all comprehension. An awesome brush with death: in the blink of an eye, his life support systems were frozen by temperatures beyond imagination. Blue Origin was blown out of its planned trajectory into an orbit a thousand times more vast, an orbit which was to return the ship far beyond his point of origin.

Shatner: The wormhole caused considerable shrinkage.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Harry:[ "Captain, Starfleet wormholed a message: They have a priority one screw job for you: They need a sweet innocent race screwed over and assimilated by the Borg and want to know if you are interested."

Janeway, so excited she poops her pants Roker style.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

SEVEN: Astrometrics to Bridge. I believe I am being monitored, but I am unable to trace the source.

 

[tharpdevenport]

It was then that Janeway realized her hands were no longer resting on the table, that she had farted so hard that she created lift off.

 

[Orac]

It began with a sound that no one was meant to hear.

 

[Orac]

Where'd th' cheese go at? I need that shit!

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

When does this contest round end?

 

[Oddish]

I think they're typically 2 months, so should be right around June 1.

 

[Orac]

Time for a new contest! --> link