Contest: ENTER ST:VGR Caption Contest #239: Bride of Chaotica!

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

This contest will feature pictures from the 5th season episode of Star Trek Voyager: Bride of Chaotica!

But first, the winners of the last contest:

@tharpdevenport takes home the Captain's Choice Award with:

Ensign Kim and the Doctor watch the hidden Ass-Cam 3000.


@tharpdevenport also wins the Best Fart Joke with:

Doctor: "Well, Captain, all I can say is that as a hologram, I don't have to smell Tuvok's flatulence. Undoubtedly you envy me and my ability to never have to deal with said ass terror."

Janeway: "Oh, really? Computer, recognize special Captain Janeway EMH override voice commands."

Computer: "Recognized. Proceed."

Janeway: "Active the EMH's sense of smell. Disable abilty to hold his nose or breath threw his mouth. Now, make him inhale..."

@Nerys Myk wins Fourth Prize with:

Janeway: Tomorrow we'll tell Harry Starfleet rejected his promotion
Chakotay: You've been in contact with Starfleet?
Janeway: No, of course not!


@A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees get Third Prize with:

EMH: Ensign, my experiment worked! I feel like a proud father. I've created a new form of single celled life! They're replicating!

Kim: Yeah, now if only rank pips could do that...


@Laura Cynthia Chambers wins Second Prize with:

Janeway: "This thread is collapsing under the weight of too many pip jokes! Any more and we'll be crushed like a tin can!"


And the winner is @Mr. Laser Beam with:

"So this is the new medical device I'll be using for all future prostate exams. Now then...hey, where are you going?"


Here're th' new pictures:

Bonus Picture:

 

[Oddish]

Well, I may not have won this time, but at least the "let's abuse Harry" crowd faced a little opposition...

Congratulations to the winners, and thanks to @Orac for the new contest.

More coming, but here's my opening shot:

After 26 years flying through in the Delta Quadrant and eating Neelix's cooking, Captain Janeway and Lieutenant Paris show the signs of their ordeal...

 

[Timewalker]

Harry: "Well, I'll be... there really are 50 shades of grey!"

Chakotay & Seven: *whispering*
Tuvok (thinking): "They're laughing at me. It's not fair!"

French-Canadian Janeway: "Mister Paris, if you make one more poutine joke, you will spend the next 70 years in the brig!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

That moment when you quietly fart, but it end up being a shart and you wonder if anybody can see it before you back out quietly.

 

[Nerys Myk]

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Mr. Paris, I think I hung around that alternate universe Janeway too much. Tell me -- does it look like I her old lady fingers infected mine?"

 

[Warp 10 (Pepperoni)]

Kim: Captain, sensors are detecting some kind of... time warp.
Janeway: It's just a jump to the left, then a step to the right, put your hands on your hips...

 

[Nerys Myk]

HARRY: pewpewpewpewpewpew
TOM: Harry, let the holodeck handle the sound effects. Thanks.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Mr. Tuvok (inner monologue): "God, they won't shut up. All that illogical love-y dove-y crap. Oh, blah blah blah, this, blah blah blah that. If only there was some way to make it stop. Wait -- I know..."

FAAAAARRRTTTTT

 

[Oddish]

HARRY: "Captain, I think that work crew you had fixing your replicator would have been better used fixing the sensor array. Just saying."
JANEWAY: "I needed a cup of coffee. Besides, that periscope Tom put in will work fine."
HARRY: "But... I can only see in one direction at a time."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

"Personal log, Tom Paris, supplemental: Note to self: remember to revert both otoscopes we borrowed from sickbay to their default settings before returning them this time... (ouch)."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Harry: "I'll find a pip for promotion if it's the last thing I do!"

SEVEN YEARS LATER

Harry: "Well, frak. Not a pip to be found anywhere," pulls away from the scope and has a black ring around his eye.

Everybody giggles

 

[tharpdevenport]

Tuvok Fart Odor Elimination detail.

Episode Director: "Oka, here's your direction: Robert, look like your apathetic and doing away with some homeless guy who's been sleeping in your driveway for two months. Harry--"

Garrett Wang: "Garrett."

Director: "Garrett -- look like you're bloated from a big bowl of super hot chilli and about to fart. Now … ACTION!"

Insert super large Penisrock, here.

 

[Orac]

Harry: There she is! There she is! ...Not so wounded as we were led to believe. So much the better.
Tom: What are you blind? That ship's obviously male.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Nick Paris: "As you can see, this is the before image, before somebody Photoshopped the SpaceX penis ship in, which for some reason has yet to happen thus far..."

 

[Orac]

Kim: There she is!
Locarno: And so it begins.

or

Previously on Tom, Dick and Harry

Later:

Harry: There she is!

 

[Orac]

The real reason Harry was never promoted.

 

[tharpdevenport]

^^^ The now obsolete Ass-Cam 2000 model. Too much eye strain.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Tom: "Boring, change the channel."

Harry changes the channel.

Tom: "This sucks, change the channel."

Harry changes the channel again..

Tom: "This sucks, too. Gawd, over a million channels from the furthest reaches of the detal quadrant -- except HBO -- and there's nothing on."

 

[Oddish]

HARRY: "Your idea to turn the captain and first officer into salamanders was great, Tom. Now we both get promotions, and they can finally settle their years of building sexual tension."