If one of your parents died

[Australis]

Well, as you know, 8 months ago, my Mum. Every day I realise just what an anchor and a great person she was, and what a great couple they were, still holding hands after 50 years.

Dad has bounced back, but not that far. I worry about him. He misses that anchor, he gets a bit vague, and has trouble handling family problems over a certain size. Right now I have a few pretty big things going on with my wife and kids, as well as my own health, but I haven't told him. it would cause hi more stress than he can handle right now.

Should he remarry? First off, I really can't see him remarrying. She'd have to be someone pretty special. Really special. Would Mum have wanted it? I don't know. While she wouldn't want him to be unhappy, I just don't know. Maybe if she was that anchor in his life.

What would I think? If she was a good person, I'd be okay with it. Family's important to him, so if she didn't drag him away from his kids and grandkids, it'd be okay.

But Mum was pretty special. Aren't all mothers?

 

[Cayla]

My mother has been married and divorced four times. My biological father has been married and divorced three times. Neither one has any business being in a relationship, but it is their life to ruin, not mine. So, I really wouldn't care.

 

[Holdfast]

My mum passed away 5 years ago. Dad's never shown any interest in remarrying - or, indeed in entering into another romantic relationship - and I really doubt he ever would. But if he did, the truth is I'd be perturbed on a deep & irrational level.

Rationally though, I'd be sure to be happy for him (provided she was a good person) since it would be his business, not mine.

 

[TGTheodore]

Gosh. My surviving parent wants to be happy the rest of his/her life rather than be alone and/or lonely? Gee, I surely wouldn't want that.

Three years after my dad passed away, my mom started dating an old family friend and just blossomed even more than she already had. Ironically, she was the only one in our family not Greek -- and he took her to Greece. And he was there with my siblings and me when her cancer returned and finally took her away.

--Ted

 

[Hermiod]

How would you feel if a couple of years later your surviving parent remarried? Lets assume that the new spouse is a decent enough person.

If my mother died, I couldn't give a crap if my father remarried. I wouldn't be there when he did, that's for sure.

 

[DanTheGrey]

In the case of my mom passing away with all her medical issues and my dad remarrying, I'd be fine with that. Probably know who he'd end up marrying too.

If my mom died, because of her medical issues I would be deeply suspicious of anyone who did marry her and would probably be barely civil towards that person regardless of how decent they were.

 

[May 20]

When my mom died 11 years ago, my sisters and I were sure my dad wouldn't survive the first year. But he did, and he eventually began seeing a very lovely woman who was also widowed. We had high hopes that they would marry, and they discussed it, but she didn't want to deal with some of the baggage my dad was (and still is) dealing with. I still am a bit miffed at my two youngest sisters over this, actually. My dad and this woman are still very close, though their relationship has morphed from romance to friendship over the years. At this point, I am almost certain that he will never remarry, and that makes me a bit sad.

 

[Ben Sisko3]

I never knew my father, and my mother hasn't had a partner in my 24+ years of life, so I'd be sort of surprised if she announced a marriage out of the blue.

...I'd probably need to change my pants.

 

[sbk1234]

The truth is, I'd be bothered, and feel really bad for that person who marries one of my parents.

 

[TheLonelySquire]

How would you feel if a couple of years later your surviving parent remarried? Lets assume that the new spouse is a decent enough person.

Nope....

Romans 7:2-3

2For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.

3So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

 

[Australis]

What's the Bible got to do with it? We're talking about people. If love can come around a second time, it can only be a good thing.

 

[FrontLine]

Probably wouldnt bother me at all

 

[1001001]

My mom died 10 years ago. My father remarried 7 months later, to a woman he knew for 4 weeks.

At the time, I was completely bewildered. My sister and I hadn't even met this woman, and they got married without inviting us or anything. We were still so raw from losing mom that yes, it was a tough pill to swallow.

To this day, I have never met my Dad's new wife. They live on the other side of the country. They've never bothered to come out (and met us, or the grandkids), and we've never bothered going out there. I've come to accept that. We talk on the phone and send cards and pictures, and that's good enough. My Dad and I were never close anyway.

Looking back on it now, I have more empathy for him than I did at the time. The truth is going home to that empty house every day must have been like a dagger in his heart. My parents were married 36 years, and they were very much in love. He was lost and alone and 3000 miles from his family. He chose life, and love again. Good for him.

I wish he had done it differently, but ultimately it's his life. On the day he married my mother, he stood up before family, friends, and God and promised to love and honor her "till death do us part". Sadly, that's exactly what happened. Once she died, his obligation to her was complete.