I Hate Myself

[Ablative_Oberth]

A friend of mine... met the love of his life in the supermarket at 2 o'clock in the morning.

Plecostomus?

The person in question mentioned a past history with this forum.... and he told me NEVER to type his name lest Very Bad Things happen.

But yeah. Him.

 

[JiNX-01]

A friend of mine... met the love of his life in the supermarket at 2 o'clock in the morning.

Plecostomus?

The person in question mentioned a past history with this forum.... and he told me NEVER to type his name lest Very Bad Things happen.

But yeah. Him.

Well at least you didn't use his name.

 

[Ablative_Oberth]

Plecostomus?

The person in question mentioned a past history with this forum.... and he told me NEVER to type his name lest Very Bad Things happen.

But yeah. Him.

Well at least you didn't use his name.

I suspect that I too will be banned shortly, by association. Happened to everyone else in our merry little Star Trek RPG group.


Now, lets not derail the OP's thread any further, please?

 

[cultcross]

UPDATE ON MY LIFE - Today I actually held a conversation with an attractive woman at work. Now, this woman is certainly no supermodel, but I've seen her around and about and she's definitely what I consider attractive. I asked her how she was doing today. She said she was doing great since she just finished a vacation. We talked for a few minutes about her vacation and how I'm planning to go on vacation in Tennessee this upcoming weekend. I think that was a major breakthrough for me. So, today I'm happy.

Nicely done! Now, as others have said, you have broken the ice - doesn't take much. Once you do that, you can chat much more easily because you have something, however small, that you shared - next time you can talk about your trip to Tennessee, which will hopefully lead to something to chat about the third time, and so on. That is how a healthy relationship is built - I'm not saying it leads anywhere romantic, but it leads to confident and casual interactions with a woman you find attractive, which is a big deal (and I don't intend to end that with 'for you', because there are plenty of people of all ages in the same boat, even some happily married ones!).

If you can get these casual, easy going relationships with women, even in passing, you can gain confidence in talking to them and begin to accept that they might enjoy chatting with you. You can't ever expect to be close to a woman if the very thought of speaking throws you out of whack, so it will be these little conversations, the first time you make a girl laugh, the first time one accepts a friendly offer of a cup of coffee, and so forth, that are your training ground for getting to know someone you actually like in a romantic way.

You made a good first step, keep it up.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Today I actually held a conversation with an attractive woman at work. Now, this woman is certainly no supermodel, but I've seen her around and about and she's definitely what I consider attractive. I asked her how she was doing today. She said she was doing great since she just finished a vacation. We talked for a few minutes about her vacation and how I'm planning to go on vacation in Tennessee this upcoming weekend. I think that was a major breakthrough for me. So, today I'm happy.

There you go: Definitive proof that you can do it. There's no going back now.

 

[Captain_Nick]

So, if you've read this far, thanks for reading and what do think?

If I were to tell you exactly what I was thinking, I would be permanently banned from this site.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with it. You will never grow if you spend all your time cursing yourself out for what you may or may not have done in the past. Newsflash buddy, you can't change the past. It's one of those things that you can't control. You need to focus on what you can control, which is how you act, think and feel, right now! Ok, there are leftover issues from the past that are preventing you from moving forward. Formulate a strategy to tackle them, and execute it. Learn what you can and move on.

Here's a tip for when you do get out on a date - women are not attracted to 'woe is me I am a loser'. You have to find a way to make your life positive and present that to them. To do that effectively you need to change your own mindset coz women are surprisingly good at picking out fakers. So the first thing you need to do I guess is stop hating yourself. Do it, right now.

 

[iguana_tonante]

^ I see your personal skills are strong as usual, Nick. Are you sure you want to give advices about how to make friends and influence people?

 

[Captain_Nick]

Ignore the messenger, it's the message that's important.

 

[sidious618]

No, the message is pretty bad, too.

 

[Captain_Nick]

I regret that I may have come out as too harsh in that post. It is not my intention to offend the original poster as much as shock them into paying attention. Having been in a similar mental position myself in the past, I know what sort of effort is required to lift yourself up. It can be done!

I believe (maybe a bit too passionately) that everyone has the courage and strength to tackle their problems, whatever they may be .. they just don't know it.

 

[JonathonWally]

Dale Carnegie is spinning in his grave.

 

[JarodRussell]

No, the message is pretty bad, too.

The message is stop whining and get your sorry ass up.

 

[Cheapjack]

These psychiatrists should be paid by results. Admiral may get better advice in a bar. By six months, a twenty minute conversation over a coffee, by twelve a date. Hell, even if the psychiatrist is a man, if he's any good, he could tell admiral what a woman is going to say, at one of his chat up lines and respond to it. and, there's tons of stuff on the internet.

 

[Quinton O'Connor]

After coming into the discussion unfashionably late, I have nothing of value to add. I will wish you good luck in all your endeavors, though, Admiral Shran. I suffer from 'substantial' PTSD, as an old shrink of mine called it. That stuff never really goes away, but through uphill climbing and the courage to face the summit, it will subside.

In your case, I'd recommend a similar mountain. But like I said, I can't think of anything particularly meaty to say that hasn't already been mentioned. Just... yeah. Good luck and whatnot.

 

[Udat]

I wasn`t going to post, I have no advice on this matter as I have never had this problem, but I`m very glad to see your making headway Admiral Shran well done.!

 

[David cgc]

Hello, it's a pleasure to meet me. I hope you never find a live turtle in your soup."

I might start using "It's a pleasure to meet me" to introduce myself to people.

I actually made that exact slip once, as a genuine accident. Someone was introducing me to a friend we'd run into.

My Friend: Oh, and this is David.
Their friend: It's nice to meet you.
David (what I intended): Likewise.
David (what came out): Yes, it is.

They're both affirmative statements, and I can see how they'd get crossed on the long trip from my brain to my mouth...

 

[Danoz]

Hello, it's a pleasure to meet me. I hope you never find a live turtle in your soup."

I might start using "It's a pleasure to meet me" to introduce myself to people.

They're both affirmative statements, and I can see how they'd get crossed on the long trip from my brain to my mouth...

Hahaha.

mmmmm-yes, *smokes pipe* it is nice to meet me isn't it.

 

[Cheapjack]

Admiral,

If you aren't having mind blowing sex, bringing your partner to hights of ecstasy, or at least having a one-to-one over a coffee within eight months, which is just about as good, I'd sack your psychaitrist.

 

[Gryffindorian]

No, the message is pretty bad, too.

The message is stop whining and get your sorry ass up.

This is what I've been saying all along.

 

[sidious618]

No, the message is pretty bad, too.

The message is stop whining and get your sorry ass up.

This is what I've been saying all along.

And it's shit advice. How, exactly, is he supposed to do that? Do you know anything about people sufferring from severe depression and severe social anxiety? It's pretty clear the answer is no. This guy seems to have both.

Telling him to get up off his ass is not only of no help but it's harmful.