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Facts About Captain Chris Pike

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If Captain Robau and Captain Pike entered the same room all of existance would explode from the mixing of that much badass.
 
Captain Pike let himself get flashfried by radiation so he could be more relateable to us sad worms. It didn't work he was still more awesome then us.
 
The guy you saw in the wheelchair at the end of the movie isn't really Christopher Pike.

The real Christopher Pike got sucked into the black hole with the Narada, but instead of getting torn apart along with the ship, he went back in time to late 20th-century Earth where he began a new career as a young-adult novelist.
 
Pike can kick ass and save the planet while in outer space. Now if the earth stops rotating and you need him to drill down and reignite the core, on the other hand...
 
Pike told Kirk he could be an officer in 4 years because Pike was an officer by his 4th birthday.
 
Well, the fact that Pike got to write an essay about Robau's demise says it all, doesn't it?

"Captain Richard Robau and Badassery: A Critical and Thematic Analysis of the Late Captain and His Awesome Badass Badassery by Christopher Pike"

Correction: "Captain Richard Robau and Badassery: A Critical and Thematic Analysis of the Late Captain and His Awesome Badass Badassery by the even more badass Christopher Pike"
 
24 fans may drool over the notion of "Naked Mandy," but Pike actually knows what Naked Mandy is like naked up close... and wearing a schoolgirl outfit (rent Exotica, if you don't understand).
 
Captain Pike has "Naked Mandy" in his quarters sharing his bunk. And hot Vina, not uglified Vina. Because he's so badass he needs two women to satisfy him.
 
Captain Robau asks you what gives you the right to attack a Federation starship.

Captain Pike makes you ask yourself what gives you the right to attack a Federation starship. And you already know the answer. And the consequence. Bitch.
 
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