Facts About Captain Chris Pike

[cooleddie74]

Captain Pike is so damn badass even Robau lets him get first pick of the eight-pack of Kellogg's mini-breakfast cereal boxes.

 

[TrekLost]

Chris Pike was able to shoot a Romulan WHILE LAYING DOWN because that's how he wakes up in the morning.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Pike Prime only played the Messiah, NuPike on the other hand...

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Pike is the guy who convinced Steve-O to do the Goldfish Trick that made him a star.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Captain Pike taught Spock how to do the Nerve Pinch

 

[cooleddie74]

Pike taught Robau how to nerve-pinch a goldfish.

 

[Nick Ryder]

And then that Goldfish turned silver and thus... in the nuTrek timeline silver is the new gold. All because of Cap'n Pike and Robau!

 

[cooleddie74]

Pike and Robau once opened a fishing shop called "Blow THIS Shit Outta the Water, A-Holes."

 

[Nick Ryder]

Pike once punched through the very fabric of space time when he was swatting a fly

 

[Bad Atom]

Captain Pike could get my little brother to clean his room and get a job.

 

[Nick Ryder]

Captain Pike could make even Quark enlist in Starfleet

 

[cooleddie74]

Captain Pike's favorite fish, oddly enough? Sturgeon.

 

[Nerys Myk]

His favorite Young Adult author, R L Stine.

 

[cooleddie74]

And his favorite color? Chartreuse.



Don't ask.

 

[Melete]

Pike is what Kirk would have become ... in an alternate timeline.

Pike would have shot the romulan with his phaser.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Pike dreams of pimping Orion slave girls.

Pike don't want no bitches on his bridge.

Pike fakes the need for the beepy wheelchair in order to get sexy nurse spongebath!

Pike taught Spock to yell "THE WOMEN!!"

 

[Hartzilla2007]

When Pike found out Picard stole one of his lines he erased the TNG era.