Caption Contest 8: Outstanding In His Minefield

[cooleddie74]

"Anyone up here got a Wet Nap?

Damn waste recycling tank on E Deck blew in my face."

POKEMINE!

Gotta disarm 'em all!!

TRIP:"Sorry, sir.

It, uh...it's my fault. See...I thought I could hold my Number Two 'til we got back on the ship...and...well...I just plain forgot to clean that EV suit out after the crisis was over."

MALCOLM:"There...isssss...

a-no-ther...

Reed...Wor...shipperrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

(*Dies and disappears*)

 

[Captain Leslie]

" Oh ma darlin' Oh ma darlin' Oh ma darlin Clemantiaeenneeee!"

Captain Archer 'Gears up' to take on the Klingons at Space Conkers.

Archer "Oh God! he's got his dick out again hasn't he?"
T Pol " Unfortunately...Captain he has."

Archer "Im a complete bastard Malcolm , and that alone is why I had to shoot you!"

 

[cooleddie74]

The Super Suckbot 7000.

Now with Zero-G, airproof pleasure socket.(TM)

MALCOLM:"Too much zero-G sex gives me spaghetti legs, sir."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Damn Tamagotchi games.

How the bloody hell's a bloke supposed to take care of a virtual pet when they're ON THE OUTER HULL OF THE SHIP?"

ARCHER:"You can't feel anything from the neck down?!

Good. Then once I disable the hangar bay security monitors we're gonna TEST that. Giddyup, Malcolm!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

REED: It's about to hatch. There should be a baby NX warping around in a day or two.

 

[cooleddie74]

"BLOODY HELL.

Reed to Captain.

We were dead wrong, sir. This thing uses twenty 'D'-cells. Not 'AA'.

And we're light years from the nearest Radio Shack or Dollar Store."

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: First, never attempt to repair an organic starship and second, no this isn't grease.

 

[T'Lin]

Malcolm: Is that a hickey sir?
Archer: No, NO it's not a hickey and not from T'Pol either.....oh shut up I'm a man and I have needs too.

 

[Rat Boy]

Reed: "Why do I have the sudden feeling that I'm an upside-down Akira-class ship?"

 

[cooleddie74]

Malcolm's clumsy, hamfisted attempts to fake a slip-and-fall injury and sue Starfleet for millions ended when Archer caught on.

 

[cooleddie74]

"UH OH.

The huge-ass lava lamp's going bad. Commander Chong is NOT gonna like this."

 

[Triskelion]

It's worse than I feared, Captain. Not only is there an explosive mine attached to the hull, but the space squirrels have gotten into it.

Captain, at what point does safe sex become worse than not doing it at all?

Man, those Vulcans have a lot of rust down there.

Why, yes T'Pol, I already knew Trip was circumcised, but thank you anyway. No, I"m not sure it will help me deactivate the explosive. Oh and tell Phlox I said good job with his meds.

 

[NXOner]

Okay, who tampered with the decon gel .......

 

[JiNX-01]

Hey, I know an NXOner over at House of Tucker!

 

[NathanielM]

"Workingin the Coal mine, going down down, working in a coal mine.... time to get down.."

Captain Archer:Activating the crab eyeball to take a peek into the next galaxy.

Archer ": Damn it did he just poo his suit again..."

T Pol " Unfortunately...Captain he has."

Malcom: "I want some gummy bears!"

Archer: Damn it don't make me shoot yer as again...

 

[Triskelion]

T'Pol: Captain. I already apologized for likening your halitosis to a seh'lat after tongue bathing its superfluous sphincter. There's no need for further passive aggression on your part.

If you don't mind sir...couldn't we just cuddle? I've lost a lot of blood.

 

[NXOner]

Hey, I know an NXOner over at House of Tucker!

Yep, that's me! Hi Jinx!

 

[cooleddie74]

T'POL:"Trip didn't want you to leave the airlock without telling you he loved you...and can't wait to be in your strong, warm yet giving arms once again."

"YEP.

I can see it, Captain. Commander Tucker was right!

You DO have a huge booger in your right nostril!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Anyone got an extra roll of crapper paper?




Best not to ask."

 

[Rat Boy]

Archer: "Trip, you were supposed to put the cherry bomb in the toilet before you took a crap in it."