Caption Contest 48.3: Lights, Action, Etc...

[SFRabid]

Reed humming: "You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you put your left foot in and you turn it all about..."
Archer: "REED. FOCUS!"
Reed: "Sory sir. I cannot get that song out of my head. ... You do the hokie pokie and you turn your self around. That's what it's all about."

BOOM!

Archer: "Porthos, this is Hoshi and T'Pol."
Porthos: "Master has been spying on you with hidden cameras in your living quarters."
T'Pol: "Why is he barking?"
Hoshi: "I speak begal. Somebody give me a gun."

Trip: "She's checking me out."
Archer: "No. She's checking me out."
Trip: "No. She's checking me out."

 

[Mistral]

"Huey, I'm going to need you to water the trees every day."



(for those of you that are old enough.)

 

[Mistral]

Archer: "You know, ladies, you should really wear underwear with those outfits-all of your private parts are showing through."

Hoshi: "This is underwear, you moron!"

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: Should we tell Novokavich the leaves on that bush are toxic?

TRIP: Naaaaaaah. Bastard plugged up the men's crapper in engineering last week.

Let him wipe his ass with those weird plants.

 

[cooleddie74]

T'POL: Fine.

The ensign and I will do it.


But Porthos CANNOT join in this time.

 

[Kirby]

Archer: Very interesting... Now, let's see what happens when we increase the gravity to above normal levels.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Hoshi: "Do you mind? Polly and I would like to be alone."
Archer: Oh, my God, this is my favorite fantasy come true! Well...except for the part where you're booting me out, that is."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: Now start rubbing all over one another.

Porthos likes to watch, too.

 

[cooleddie74]

TRIP: Great.

We planned the officers' picnic at the same time a Hippie Jamfest is in the park.

ARCHER: Look at it this way...we'll all get one HELL of a contact buzz.

 

[Hopeful Romantic]

"Huey, I'm going to need you to water the trees every day."



(for those of you that are old enough.)

Hey, I'm old enough.

 

[cooleddie74]

Great. Bloody Romulans put a parking boot on the damned ship.

 

[cooleddie74]

THIS time, blaming it on the dog wasn't going to work.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Archer: "All I'm saying is, we're supposed to be past all that old sexist nonsense. And if I'm willing to go without a top..."

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: Just so you know ahead of time...

Porthos likes a decon gel rubdown with a Happy Ending.

 

[cooleddie74]

TRIP: Wow.

Guess Novokavich HASN'T gotten any in a long time, huh?

ARCHER: Look at him go to town on that tree's knothole...DAMN...

 

[Mistral]

Archer: "I do love to watch children playing in the park and having fun."

Trip: "I know what you mean. Its kind of like a smorgasbord, aint it?" *pause* "What?!?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Archer: "Ahem. Are either of you by any chance familiar with the Mirror Universe concept of 'the Captain's woman'?"
Hoshi: "Ahem. Are you by any chance familiar with the old earth concept of 'sisters of Sappho'?"

 

[T'Boggan]

Reed: "Well sir, Im not sure what it is but I think its Male....."

Hoshi:"Is there any thing we can do for you....captain?."

Archer:"Hell yes...one of you can hold the damn dog still and the other can pass the lube..."

Trip and Archer missed their days as Sears Catalogue Models

 

[cooleddie74]

MALCOLM: Should it be making a loud ticking noise and venting wisps of smoke, sir?

PORTHOS: WELL?

You two get at it.


And make it hot.



Jonathan and I don't have ALL damn day, you know...

TRIP: Ever seen anything like THAT, sir?

ARCHER: Well..not since my cousin's bar mitzvah.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Archer (dejectedly): "Aw...damn...I was really hoping one of you would have an outie."