Reed humming: "You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out, you put your left foot in and you turn it all about..." Archer: "REED. FOCUS!" Reed: "Sory sir. I cannot get that song out of my head. ... You do the hokie pokie and you turn your self around. That's what it's all about." BOOM! Archer: "Porthos, this is Hoshi and T'Pol." Porthos: "Master has been spying on you with hidden cameras in your living quarters." T'Pol: "Why is he barking?" Hoshi: "I speak begal. Somebody give me a gun." Trip: "She's checking me out." Archer: "No. She's checking me out." Trip: "No. She's checking me out."
Archer: "You know, ladies, you should really wear underwear with those outfits-all of your private parts are showing through." Hoshi: "This is underwear, you moron!"
ARCHER: Should we tell Novokavich the leaves on that bush are toxic? TRIP: Naaaaaaah. Bastard plugged up the men's crapper in engineering last week. Let him wipe his ass with those weird plants.
Archer: Very interesting... Now, let's see what happens when we increase the gravity to above normal levels.
Hoshi: "Do you mind? Polly and I would like to be alone." Archer: Oh, my God, this is my favorite fantasy come true! Well...except for the part where you're booting me out, that is."
TRIP: Great. We planned the officers' picnic at the same time a Hippie Jamfest is in the park. ARCHER: Look at it this way...we'll all get one HELL of a contact buzz.
Archer: "All I'm saying is, we're supposed to be past all that old sexist nonsense. And if I'm willing to go without a top..."
TRIP: Wow. Guess Novokavich HASN'T gotten any in a long time, huh? ARCHER: Look at him go to town on that tree's knothole...DAMN...
Archer: "I do love to watch children playing in the park and having fun." Trip: "I know what you mean. Its kind of like a smorgasbord, aint it?" *pause* "What?!?"
Archer: "Ahem. Are either of you by any chance familiar with the Mirror Universe concept of 'the Captain's woman'?" Hoshi: "Ahem. Are you by any chance familiar with the old earth concept of 'sisters of Sappho'?"
Reed: "Well sir, Im not sure what it is but I think its Male....." Hoshi:"Is there any thing we can do for you....captain?." Archer:"Hell yes...one of you can hold the damn dog still and the other can pass the lube..." Trip and Archer missed their days as Sears Catalogue Models
MALCOLM: Should it be making a loud ticking noise and venting wisps of smoke, sir? PORTHOS: WELL? You two get at it. And make it hot. Jonathan and I don't have ALL damn day, you know... TRIP: Ever seen anything like THAT, sir? ARCHER: Well..not since my cousin's bar mitzvah.