Caption Contest 25: lurking, smirking, captain kirking

[Triskelion]

Time to detox from that last contest. Trek proves that you can mess around with history - but you'd better not mess around with canon, unless you buy the fans dinner first!

This contest had everything from Peggy Bundy to hologram sex, and some really funny photoshops. There were plenty of captions which could have won! So congratulations to all who played. We're not laughing at you. We're laughing near you.

And now:
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First Image:

TROI:"I could swear that a holodeck character on 'pause' JUST looked at my ass."

Second Image:

Tucker: Don't tase me, bro!

Third Image:

This one was a draw between three caps by the same poster, an unprecedented self-tie, by none other than Shatmandu. So in honor of his second win in the Enterprise Caption Contest, here are just a few of his winning entries!

Troi: "So your new holodeck girdle will work ..."
Riker: "... I just have to turn off the safety protocols."

Frakes: "The camera adds ten pounds."
Sirtis: "So does putting gravy on your pizza."

Troi, just walking in: "Computer, edit program: reduce Captain Riker's weight by forty pounds and fix that awful, awful hair."
Computer: "No program is currently running."
Riker: "Ahem."

So this week a special recognition award goes to Shatmandu! This was only scratching the surface of the many hours of tears (of laughter?) he brings the internets! Now folks, here's a walking celebrity roast if ever there was one!


Photoshop Award:

Believe it or not, this was the original way Trip was supposed to die in TATV.

RIKER: To hell with history. Let's shag!

Multicap Award:

Troi: He's no James T. Kirk in bed.
Riker: Is that... ah, what?

Alien: Your Shatner impression won't save you now, earthling.

Troi: I'm sensing an unwanted sexual violation of Star Trek fans.
Riker: Now that's what I call a valentine!

Congratulations to this week's winners!


All our winners get:

A Model Starship!
antigravity not included



Each of our captioners will be taking home:

A Barbie Dating Game!
Teaching kids rejection™


Our next contest comes from Oasis. Remember, it's not stalking if nobody knows you're there!

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Come here often?

 

[Rat Boy]

T'Pol: "I know you are in that box and I can hear what you are doing in it."

Travis: "Dammit!"

T'Pol: "Vulcan's take weeding seriously."

Archer: "Kind of an odd aftertaste."

Reed: "Yes, almost like Chef's taint."

<all turn>

Reed: "What?"

 

[frenchman]

archer :"hehehe, trip is finally dead!!! now, i'am the only one hero!!!! hehehehe!!! and t'pol is mine!!!!

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Archer:"This shooter isn't the 'Hotpussy' I was refering to..."

T'Pol: "I'm preparing for the Cannabis cup, this strain is a hybrid called Vulcan BC Bud Cush, "

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Thanks for the win! Congrats to the others!

Vulcan women spent more time in front of the make-up mirror than human females.

Another dating tip from Charles "Trip" Tucker III:

Flowers and Phase Pistols make for a memorable first date, y'all.

Archer: Whoa doggies! This tastes like Trip's piss.

 

[Rat Boy]

T'Pol: "I will return your clothes after you learn your lesson."

 

[Piper]

It swiftly became clear what a mistake it was to ask T'Pol to judge this week's caption competition.

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

T'Pol now has done everything Hoshi recommended... now to put her advice to use.

Here's to a good time...we'll just forget to tell Trip about it.

 

[NXOner]

TRIP: And this is another of Malcolm's phaser modifications - guaranteed to solve ya greenfly problem before y'can say Pecan Pie

 

[NXOner]

ARCHER: Now why can't this be an episode I get to live the same day over and over

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Trip: Let me guess: T'Pol with the Phase Pistol in the Conservatory.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: I swear to god it's medicinal, officer! I've got a prescription!

 

[Nerys Myk]

DIRECTOR: Mmmmm, a litte too Joan Collins. Lets dial the filters back a bit.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

It was at that moment that T'pol's hair had gained sentience, and began to crawl off of her scalp.

T'pol: "You have betrayed us all."

Trip: "Look, all I did was watch a little Battlestar Galactica."

(She motions with the gun.)

Trip: "Okay, and a little Farscape, too."

Archer: "Scotch scotch scotch. I like scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch."

 

[frenchman]

bakula :" and everybody think that TATV is a Braga's idea!!!!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Hey, that's a big win! I thank you.

Archer's uvula: "Man, I would tear that shit up."

 

[NXOner]

T'POL: (Typing) ...USERNAME .... PONFARRBABE1 ....

"It would not be desirable for the Captain and Commander Tucker to know I am writing Slash Fanfic ....."

 

[Hopeful Romantic]

Archer: "Scotch scotch scotch. I like scotch. Scotchy scotch scotch."

Don't ask me why, but this one made me laugh a lot.

 

[cooleddie74]

"According to the Vulcan Medical Database, my bangs are a clear indication and early symptom of Pa'Fail Syndrome."

"I hope like hell there's some good herb in here somewhere. I haven't lit up since we left Spacedock."

ARCHER:"Cheers.

To the best ship and crew in the service. And the best strawberry-orange Kool Aid since my childhood!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Curious.

What is an...LOLcat?"