Caption Contest 24: T&A TV

[cooleddie74]

"I think Reg and Geordi need to take a closer look at this program, Will. This representation can't POSSIBLY be precise.

Where are the mandatory sombreros 22nd century Starfleet crews wore?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Riker: "Computer, run program: Methed-Up Sulu Canola Oil Assault, authorization Riker Six Niner."

 

[cooleddie74]

RIKER:"Computer...load and run Holoprogram Naked Horny Cooleddie 69A.

Objective Mode!

I don't want your uniform ruined, Deanna."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: To hell with history. Let's shag!

 

[Shatmandu]

Troi: "Computer, run holodeck program Randy Romulan Roughriders, authorization Troi beta three."
<Computer squills.>

Troi: "Happy birthday, you pervert. Okay, get him, boys ..."

 

[the 4th hanson bro]

Tucker: Don't tase me, bro!

Riker: "Have you noticed how your boobs have firmed up?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Riker: "I think I'm ready to talk to Captain Picard now."

Picard (on intercom): "Oh, look, we found the Pegasus."

Riker: "Crap, never mind."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Tucker: Oh, come on, isn't it bad enough that I'm in this horrible episode. Now you're gonna point a gun at me!

Troi: Well that was a complete waste of time.
Riker: Whatever. It's not like the ship is at alert status or doing anything that might piss off the Romulans.
Picard (intercom): ALL HANDS, BATTLE STATIONS! RED ALERT! FATTY ONE AND FATTY TWO... I mean Counselor Troi and Commander Riker to the bridge.

 

[Piper]

Riker: We're great, aren't we?
Troi: Yes we are.
Riker: Sometimes I'm overwhelmed at the sheer awesomeness of us.
Troi: I know! Me too.
Riker: Splendid.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Al: Sam! Ziggy says you can't leap til you and the fat guy perform the Double Dutch Rudder!

"Alright, easy, okay, fella? It's gonna take a minute to look up what in hell a Dutch Rudder is!"

"Well, now that that's settled, do you have a suggestion for my erectile dysfunction?"

"I suggest opening the recording of Captain Kirk's brave assault on Nimbus III, specifically the fan dance done by Commander Uhura."

 

[Triskelion]

Riker: Next time let me choose the program.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Shoot if you HAFTA...

But just remember...you lose 1,000 frequent warper miles if you commit any crime on a participating vessel!!"

TROI:"Remind me NEVER to accept one of your horrid holodeck invitations again.

I think I might have gotten AIDS from that."

 

[cooleddie74]

TROI:"THIS is the greatest explorer of his century?

I've looked more noble discovering lint in my own hoo-hah."

 

[Shatmandu]

Troi: "Wonder if he weeps like a baby after sex."
Riker: "Hey."

 

[Middleman]

Troi: "When did I start looking like Peggy Bundy!!
Riker: "At least I don't look like Al, now go get me a beer Peg!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Riker: "I've got to use the bathroom."
Troi: "Right. You're going to go watch T'Pol wash herself again."

 

[USS Kongo]

Troi: Funny, I always thought he had a smaller nose than that. Computer, adjust the honker on Archer....

Ok, ok, Stargate: Atlantis is better than Star Trek: Enterprise. There...you happy now?!

Troi: Well that was fun. Now let's see if the Lost In Space gang has found their way home yet.

 

[Triskelion]

Troi: And his crew never found out why his ship was the only one with mandatory decon?

 

[cooleddie74]

"Archer's so much cuter in here than he ever was in my drunken teenage dreams...pawing myself with a Deltan fur mitten."

 

[cooleddie74]

"What?

All I said was a little medicated skin creme might clear that up!!"

TROI:"We done here?

Because I need to detox and cry for about a WEEK."